Today, I was cheering up the girl I've been in love with for years. She was having one of those, "I'm ugly, no one wants to be with me" days. To cheer herself up, she said to me, "If you were a hot guy, you'd date me, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26057) - you totally deserved it (2205)
On 11/08/2009 at 7:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
I would say no, and leave.
That's just messed up of her.
But don't worry, girls like this eventually grow up and realize they missed out.
#49 - On 11/08/2009 at 9:43pm by dudeitsdanny
As a tip off, if she says she is ugly, she is one of those insecure women who try to balance their insecurity by wearing expensive stuff, living in the group of hot chicks, or try to get along with a good looking guy. They can go to any level to get fake personal satisfaction which may include dumping you even after if she says yes for you. Stay away from her she is trouble.
Just move on, she's a bitch. she's looking for people to compliment her to feel good.... Just forget about her.
#133 - On 11/09/2009 at 12:43pm by I_Dont_Feel_Bad
So fucking right lmao. there always that one ugly chick and the fat chick in the group of hot girls, there straight cockblocks.
#154 - On 11/09/2009 at 8:09pm by epiclol
epiclol, you are a prick.
Anyways, Op, you sound like you cared about her and it was wrong of her to say that. I think people need to have more respect for people. No one can help what they look like beyond clothing and hygiene and getting a better hair cut. You should not have to get "surgery" or be a hot guy for someone to love you. You sound like a caring person, and one day there will be a girl who isn't shallow and pathetic, who will love you for who you are.
Steal her toy poodle and put it in the microwave. That will teach her what hot and charred are.
It's always hilarious when high schoolers talk about love. Like they think their infatuation of the week means something.
How would you know if the person is in high school. There was absolutely no allusion to a high school or his being a teenager.
#57 - On 11/08/2009 at 10:15pm by eman4life23
Oh since you're older, you know exactly what love is? Who says someone younger, such as a high schooler, couldn't be 'in love'? Define love for all of us, please. You're a bloody idiot.
#86 - On 11/09/2009 at 12:24am by sk8erlife25
Sk8er, what high-schoolers define as love might feel real to them, I agree with you in that sense, but there is a clear definition of love in terms of psychology and sociology.
I will spare you the 5 page description, but in a nutshell love is a both a mature feeling that comes from intimacy (that doesn't mean sex, but an intimate knowledge and understanding of the other on many levels), and from being tested together through life's circumstances (financial woes, moral issues, sex, sharing goals, health crises, and all sorts of obstacles).
This why, yes, love is a "grown-up" thing, and while some may luck out and find it very young, you most likely won't realize you finally know what love is until you've lived a little (a lot), had romantic successes and failures, and grown to understand that there is more to being in love than irrational infatuation stirred by raging adolescent hormones.
#92
No, just no. Some words can not be defined in the English language. Even the triangular theory in psychology is vague.
“How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?”
— Albert Einstein
#103 - On 11/09/2009 at 2:47am by nokillnobeepbeep
There are four kinds of guys who would ever use the phrase, "been in love with for years:" Boyfriends, husbands, stalkers, and teenagers. And we can logically rule out boyfriend or husband.
I had a highschool relationship that lasted nearly two years. And he was my 'Infactuation of the week'.
#119 - On 11/09/2009 at 6:15am by JaggedJacii
I totally agree #92. I had a high school relationship that lasted 3 years, then several other long-term relationships in college, and although I was technically out of high school by the time I found "the one", I found all of my college relationships as well to be "naive." And I laughed at previous relationships in high school I found to be so serious at the time.
Teenagers can be in love with someone, sure. Anyone, any age can be in love. #92 is just saying that our definition of love changes over the years thorughout experience and biological changes (some more than others.)
To the teenagers reading #92's comment and saying "nu-uh..." Just wait a few years, you will understand completely.
#126 - On 11/09/2009 at 11:09am by just_me_tmp
With respect, there is -no- consensus on the definition of love within any of the social sciences (personally coming from an anthropology background here, but I have TA'd for human sex within psychology). There are many models, and they're all competing, being picked up and dropped to fit within various theoretical contexts... but if anything, this only illustrates how little we actually understand the concept of love. And this isn't a bad thing; it's how science works. But don't go around claiming that there is a concrete definition when there is no such thing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Fg-dQxQOEs
love. defined. in a song. a comedic song. but still. trust me.
Bo Burnham. WOOO!
#148 - On 11/09/2009 at 6:14pm by Plumppotato
Teenagers need to get over themselves and realize that they are not mature adults - they are still /children/. What teenagers can have are crushes and simple infatuations, not love. They confuse their hormone-fueled actions with love, which is incorrect. That is why early marriages fail most of the time.
#162 - On 11/19/2009 at 7:04am by bgpink
#17 got it right. It is a slippery slope indeed. Poor guy.
#104 - On 11/09/2009 at 2:50am by nokillnobeepbeep
oy. It's all right.
Girls say things they know will hurt because it makes them feel better when they are not feeling well.
...and you believe thats...alright? man. what kind of messed up pussywhipped idiot are you?
#109 - On 11/09/2009 at 3:41am by organisedchaos
Thats when you say "your not ugly and i think your beautiful" and everyone lives happily ever after.
Yeah- She's worth being in love with. You don't say something like that to someone if they are trying to cheer you up. Bitch.
#11 - On 11/08/2009 at 8:45pm by wilshires1
This was a huge red flag saying you should move on. Sucks though, sorry.
#13 - On 11/08/2009 at 8:47pm by whiterabbit
The hell. My comment was just deleted. -.- I'm slightly irritated.
#15 - On 11/08/2009 at 8:47pm by Person1233
What you do is say, "You're beautiful. If you were mine, I'd do anything for you." then kiss her. If she screams, "Eww, GET OFF OF ME!", leave and tell everyone she knows that she gave you herpes. If you really loved her you'd have done so years ago.
#20 - On 11/08/2009 at 8:52pm by seanreddog
Don't make it sound so gay, lose a little weight, and leave out the herpes part. If you do all this, you may get the girl. But probably not.
#34 - On 11/08/2009 at 9:06pm by seanreddog
I'm surprised most of the comments have been in support of the poster when female posters usually get attacked for whining.
really? you're surprised most of the posters on FML are 13-year old boys?
#29 - On 11/08/2009 at 9:01pm by greenfairy
That's what he's saying. He whines like a girl and everyone is sympathizing with him for being a pussy.
#32 - On 11/08/2009 at 9:03pm by seanreddog
generally its because with the girls the fml is "now hes with my best friend/marrying someone else/back with his ex" and other lame shit. this one is a major fml regardless of the fact that the OP is an idiot, so i think people hit the end and forget the fact that hes been pining silently for years.
#110 - On 11/09/2009 at 3:46am by organisedchaos
Wow drop her, she's conceded as all hell. You should have said "If you were a superstar you would have fucked me right?" psh, f that, be like, "I hear my phone ringing, gotta get this" and leave :)
Thats just a swift kick to the nuts from the friendzone boot right there.
#30 - On 11/08/2009 at 9:03pm by grrrarrrg2
This is where you say: "'By the beard of Zeus,' (Anchorman). Well, since apparently I'm ugly and I'm the only one that likes you, I'm sorry that you are so hideous that you can't attract hot guys. Does that make you feel better?"
:]
#35 - On 11/08/2009 at 9:07pm by BlowYaMind
What's with all the pathetic guys that can't tell a girl how they feel so they pine after her secretly? Get some balls and tell her you like her, and if she doesn't like you then get the hell over it and go after someone not shallow and stupid! God damn.
#36 - On 11/08/2009 at 9:08pm by TheKitsune
ill be your friend OP.
im sorry things like that happen, but she is kind of a bitch for saying "if you were hot".
:/
try and pick a new girl?
#37 - On 11/08/2009 at 9:13pm by carpediem19
That is fucked up I would never talk 2 that bitch again
#38 - On 11/08/2009 at 9:13pm by jermaine1989
OP, someday you won't be in high school anymore. And you'll be so fucking glad you're not in high school anymore. And this girl will just be a memory, and you'll be with someone gorgeous and kind who loves you and thinks you're hot.
At least that's how it happened for me. And if it happened to me, it can happen to anyone.
If that's so, what are they even doing on this website?
#113 - On 11/09/2009 at 4:16am by PandaPandaPandaX
uh dude thats prolly her way of saying would u date me you shouldaa been like ya then she woulda be like sweet and sh!t woulda took off from there
#40 - On 11/08/2009 at 9:19pm by Mylife_is_so_fd
I don't get this. The girl you've been in love with for years, and aren't dating? Either you're being a drama-queen, or you're a massive creeper.
#44 - On 11/08/2009 at 9:31pm by Flamingmonkey923
Or he got in the friend zone early on and figures (rightly, from the sound of the FML) that she's not interested, and so does nothing so as not to ruin the friendship.
Dude, i used to be like this kid. He's not trying to avoid ruining the "friendship." He's hoping for something impossible, that this girl will open her eyes and realize that he is there. BUT SHE WON'T. That only happens in movies. I had a hot girl i really liked, every time she needed someone to talk to she came to me. One time she was riding in my car complaining about a BF and she said, "I just wish I could find a nice guy who got me and could listen to my problems and support me." I pulled over right there and told her to get out of my car. Never talked to her again. Once in the friendzone, always in the friendzone. Forget this girl, go get laid, up your self esteem and have a better life.
#102 - On 11/09/2009 at 2:41am by TooBored13
#102:
So, you never even admitted your feelings and gave her a chance to come around? And you didn't consider maybe she was saying all that stuff as a somewhat 'risk free' way of judging your reaction? Hmm, sounds very logical and rational.... >_>
And men accuse US of requiring they be mind-readers....
#106 - On 11/09/2009 at 3:26am by Intoxicunt
No, I did let her know. She was very aware of it. But hot women don't date nice guys. That's just the way it is until you are at least 25, and usually around 30. Because girls, I should properly say, mistake being a dick for confidence and crave conflict. They don't want a nice guy who they connect with. That's why I started being a jerk. It works too. I'm 22 and my current girl is a 28 year old french model. Last night she broke up with me while in the act because I'm "selfish and I don't care" about her. She's right, so I walked out as soon as we finished. Today she called me and begged me back.
#122 - On 11/09/2009 at 7:41am by TooBored13
What can I say, you're a jerk. But it's a tough world, you can either be the sweet single loser or happy. Until women stop being borderline fucking special needs and realise that they are never going to be happy with a douchebag, this will continue forever.
Just for contrast, it is in fact possible that relationships do change. I was in the friendzone with a girl for years, and we've now been dating for years. But that doesn't mean you should keep pursuing, or that you should pursue your friendzone'd girl exclusively.
You're probably not ugly, just not hot. No big deal. At least she didn't say you were an ugly nerd. The person I was infatuated with for years used to say that to me....and that type of thing hurts people a lot more than just knowing they're not hot. FYL cuz it was the girl you loved, but I'm sure you can find someone better and you'll get over it.
#45 - On 11/08/2009 at 9:34pm by MermaidSongXOXO
You shouldn't be so into a girl that is so shallow and disrespectful. Imagine being in a relationship with her! She'd be mean to you
#47 - On 11/08/2009 at 9:36pm by joebobtheblob
YDI for being in love with someone as shallow and as emotionally needy.
#48 - On 11/08/2009 at 9:38pm by lostfaithinpppl
"No, I probably wouldn't, but I'm not so what are you doing Friday night?" ~you
#50 - On 11/08/2009 at 9:44pm by russianspy1234
Tell her looks don't matter, she can be the most gorgeous girl in the world on the outside but her attitude makes her incredibly ugly.. and walk away.
#56 - On 11/08/2009 at 10:14pm by goldencrane
Dang, that girl was super shallow. You should not help her out anymore and tell her to fuck herself.
I dunno, could probably have been a slip of the tongue when she was trying to be hypothetical. I've done that before by accident.
Then you are extremely insecure and needy person. Grow up first and then start posting.
#87 - On 11/09/2009 at 12:35am by lostfaithinpppl
it sucks, but regardless, that was your oppurtunity to speak up.
#61 - On 11/08/2009 at 10:25pm by Gitsandshiggles
Oh damn.
What a bitch.
With that type of attitude no wonder she's ugly!
Get a big sign that says "Looks aren't everything" and slap that across her face.
#62 - On 11/08/2009 at 10:26pm by HighLife19
i find it funny when people say "the guy/girl ive been in love with for years" and they arent even in a relationship. isnt that called obsessed? cuz im near positive that isnt love
Why don't you stop bitching about "being in love" with a girl for years. Go out and find someone else. Idiot.
#70 - On 11/08/2009 at 11:01pm by sterlbott2
She just sounds really insecure. Who wants to be friends with someone who constantly needs reassurance like "no, your bum does not look big in those pants/skirt/dress?" whatever you get the picture. Its draining and not worth your time.
Go find a girl that actually wants to be with you. She just sounds like a shallow whiny person and Im sure you can do much better.
#72 - On 11/08/2009 at 11:07pm by Reality_bites
she's somewhat putting you in a different roll. she isn't impying you not hot. she's just saying if it wernt u then would you go out with her. fuck the ppl who ydi'this.
#73 - On 11/08/2009 at 11:12pm by letsgopink3
WTF is with everyone saying get over her/find a girl worthy etc etc? Have you ever had this experience? Getting over a girl you are in love (fine, in lust) with at age 14-19 is about as easy as detaching a leg. I feel for you OP. This is your chance to go all-in though; tell her that she is amazing and you would do anything for her. If response is positive, congrats on obtaining the most wonderful thing in the world. If no, THEN get over her.
#74 - On 11/08/2009 at 11:14pm by KingHumanity
Aaaaaaarrrrggghh... Really?? "the girl I've been in love with for years"?? These FMLs are getting soooo old.
1. That's not love. Love takes two people. Love takes knowing what it's like to be in a relationship with the object of your affection. What you have is desperate infatuation that feeds on its own hopelessness.
2. For years? If you have chosen misery in the friend zone because you haven't had the balls to go for it, then blame yourself.
3. If you can be "in love" with a person that displays that kind of passive-aggressive behavior, you clearly have insecurities of your own and some emotional growing up to do.
SO on all 3 counts, YDI.
The correct response would be: Hell, I'd date you right now.
#79 - On 11/08/2009 at 11:54pm by GregoryZero
You shoulda responded "Even if I was the ugliest man on the planet, I'd rather eat monkey shit then look at you." It would've been cruel, but do you think she wouldn't deserve it?
"Hey girl, I'm sorry to say but you're right, you're kinda ugly.. Guys who are hotter than me won't date you.. So I guess you'll have to settle with me.."
Happily ever after =)
#81 - On 11/09/2009 at 12:04am by WonderBlunder
*sigh* do you know nothing about women? They are at there most vulnerable when they are insicure!!!! As soon as she tells you shes having one of those "i'm ugly, nobody wants to be with me" days alarm bells should go of in your head and a big fat bullseye should paint itself on her forehead. She didn't mean your ugly, she was being hypothetical, that was your chace to make a move dumbass!!!!
Now go buy the bitch some flowers and suprise her in the evening, odds are since your already her friend you'll be laid within 24 hours. WELL.................. what are you waitig for? RUN PUSSY RUN!!!
Why are you in love with an insecure and conceited bitch? Even if you were the ugliest person on the planet, what she said is still very arrogant, because she is basically saying that only hot guys are worthy of dating her.
Also, $10 says she would have smacked you if you asked her the same question.
#83 - On 11/09/2009 at 12:11am by Tubasaurus
Does she know that you love her? If she doesn't, it might be your perfect opportunity, hah.
#84 - On 11/09/2009 at 12:11am by chix0rgirl
Should have given her a black eye and a fat lip. Then her ugly statement would be true.
#88 - On 11/09/2009 at 12:44am by SarcasticAvenger
Since what she said was shallow and hurtful, I would have simply said NO and made her feel worse. Maybe mean, but being shallow and saying hurtful things isn't okay!
#91 - On 11/09/2009 at 1:02am by prettyboy82
Well what's she supposed to say?
"You'd date me, right?" - That would give off the wrong idea.
"If you are someone else, you'd date me, right?" - That would be confusing.
"If you are someone I don't know, you'd date me, right?" - That would be confusing as well since it does sound kind of creepy.
By hot guy, she probably just meant someone else but with the parameters of being the type that would be able to get anyone he wants.
i think there are many ways to respond to that... dont get offended and just stand up for urself man
Really have fun in life, just remember communication is priority #1
#95 - On 11/09/2009 at 1:46am by cerebellum
Why are you wasting your time on a girl who is clearly not interested in you? Save yourself some time and enjoy life more, there are 3 billion other girls out there to have fun with.
#96 - On 11/09/2009 at 2:08am by tvspeedy07
this is what I and you should have said, " no I wouldn't date someone as shallow as you even if I was a hot guy..... o and cheer up :)"
#99 - On 11/09/2009 at 2:17am by laughingman
Ouch, man. In my experience we females pride ourselves on wording things so people don't get hurt or offended (unless we want them to). I'm sorry you got the one douche that hasn't figured out delicacy yet.
#107 - On 11/09/2009 at 3:33am by jazlyn
The correct response would have been "Sure...if you were a hot girl."
#114 - On 11/09/2009 at 4:25am by Xeke
when you learn to pound that puss while stimulating the clit until their entire body feels euphoric during multiple orgasms, you'll get a lot of girls falling in love with you, so work on your sex skills.
#118 - On 11/09/2009 at 6:10am by FlaminYawn
Man I know how that is... I am having one of those moments almost every day now with this one girl... I don't really know if I love her though
Every time she has one of those days buy her ice cream and cheesecake to make her feel better. Eventually she'll be fat and ugly enough to settle for you.
I would have said, nah, not until you get some surgery for that fucked up face/neckmeat/crater ass/pizza face. Or go more subtle and say, Awww, hey, no, there's guys out there who like girls like...you....probably...
#125 - On 11/09/2009 at 9:24am by ChuckWaggon
dude i feel like f HER life! she sucks. she should uppercut her effn self. that's why no one wants to date her effn "a".
Wow, you don't need a bitch like that. Let her cry her self pitying self to death.
FYL.
#134 - On 11/09/2009 at 1:08pm by rockstarK9
"I'd date you as the guy I am now."
Don't drag shit like this out.
#136 - On 11/09/2009 at 1:39pm by FoundManyLemons
You should have told her long ago that you have feelings for her, but now that she said that don't waste your time.
#140 - On 11/09/2009 at 2:37pm by israelnotjacob
i love how ppl arent saying "YDI for being ugly" here just because the poster is a man, while they would mercilessly do it to a woman. ppl sure are great.
No wonder no one wants to be with her. I sure as hell wouldn't.
#143 - On 11/09/2009 at 4:24pm by guy_on_the_couch
Oh how I miss being in high school... not. It's crap like this that makes me hate shallow people. What OP should have done was drill negative comments into her so she feels like shit. She wants to think in her moment of lowness she is still better than you, don't play that game. Make sure she truly feels like the ugly person she percieves herself to be. I have no sympathy for shallow people at all.
#144 - On 11/09/2009 at 4:56pm by flyintonite
what a f***ing bitch.i would have said the meanist thing ever that came to mind after that.
#145 - On 11/09/2009 at 5:21pm by Helghast95
Just be smooth then and say; "Yes I would, but even without being hot in your eyes i'd do the same." And then either walk out if you are too scared for her figuring it out or stay and hope for the best.
From reading these comments the consensus is that this is the most shallow person in the world and yet something is not making sense. There must be something about her that made you "love her for years". she couldn't possibly be this awful person. I mean, what could it possibly be that you saw in her? [...]
I know exactly how you feel! Exactly. I was crazy for this one chic right? I mean totally gaga over her. But she considered us "just friends". Obviously i wanted a little more than that but i was too queer to ever tell her. But slowly we got closer and closer. We started spending more time together and hanging out a lot more. We stared "studying" together on a regular basis. And by "studying" i mean instead of actually studying, we would just talk and talk and talk. Which was still good for me because i was so in love with this girl. Finally after us being "freinds" for 18 months, I asked her out to a movie and dinner. She said yes and I was the happiest person in the world until we got to the movie... we sat down in the theatre and she turned to me and said "I have a really big crush on Blake! How do you think I should ask him out?" Im thinking 'my name is Tanner... I barely know Blake... Wtf!?' Needless to say that turned out to be the worst night of my life.
BIGGEST TEASE EVER!!!
#156 - On 11/09/2009 at 11:01pm by bobinoguaviare
She sounds like it, but you needed to define it was a date. If you had been "talking" and not doing anything sexual then she might have assumed you were just friends.
Good response "Well, I'd go out with you now, but since I'm not hot, then neither are you. Enjoy spending the rest of your life alone."
#161 - On 11/11/2009 at 6:34am by MisterZzyzx
YDI for being a Nice Guy. But, of course, that IS jumping to conclusions. However, I think I can safely say based on the fact that you were "in love" with her for years, you have little/no spine, and are indeed a "nice guy".
On the other hand, FML for being called ugly/unattractive. Nobody deserves that, spine or no spine.
