Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (189800) - you totally deserved it (15634)
On 03/21/2009 at 3:15am - intimacy - by jilted (woman) - United States (Missouri)
i'm sorry.. that is just mean.
why not divorce him.
save yourself from a crappy relationship.
#2 - On 03/21/2009 at 11:04am by hybridstar
This is why I'm afraid to get married. I'm really sorry.
#4 - On 03/21/2009 at 11:09am by Alisonwonderland
So you're afraid to get married because you look like a man?
You might have a hard time getting married then
#220 - On 09/06/2009 at 12:57am by tanman0401
@#6
She means the whole being divorced thing, dickweed.
#180 - On 09/05/2009 at 1:18pm by JohnFR33M4N
no she means the husband being gay thing
and herself looking like a man
#197 - On 09/05/2009 at 4:06pm by kingston52
Oh. That's terrible. I seriously feel really bad for you.
#9 - On 03/21/2009 at 11:20am by Prisoner_24601
#2--Uh, yeah. I'm pretty sure that's what comes next. I don't think she's planning on staying with him. And "crappy relationship" is an understatement.
I would've been a bit nicer to her. Telling her that she looks like a man... low blow to the ego. That was just... ouch...
#14 - On 03/21/2009 at 11:36am by CorLeonis15
1. This is a true fml.
2. Sorry but I DID laugh.
3. I'm really sorry. =\
4. He sounds like a total douchebag.
I remember moderating this, it made me laugh but your husbands a real jerk. be glad you wont be married to him for much longer...
#19 - On 03/21/2009 at 11:52am by smiling_elephant
#4 your telling me that you don't wanna get married because you think after 9 years he is gonna admit he is gay and you are ugly? you have to be kidding me.
you deffinatly have bigger problems then the OP (as #6 said)
#21 - On 03/21/2009 at 12:03pm by kwbuzz23wk
Not that he's gay exactly. I'm worried that after ten years of marriage, my husband will have some big confession that consists of either:
A. He's gay.
B. He's a pedophile
C. He's leaving me for a younger woman
D. He sold our house for magic beans
E. Something that equally fucks up my life
And then we'll get a divorce and I'll never find love again because I'm too old. I just have very little faith in marriage in general.
#22 - On 03/21/2009 at 12:08pm by Alisonwonderland
I know the feeling. It's waiting for that skeleton to hop out of the closet. I've been married a year and we've already had our big surprises of insane amounts of debt and warrants my husband got in his "youthful" days. O.o Men.
This guys sounds like a jerk...not only did he wait nine years to tell you he is gay and has been lying to you...but he had to throw you under the bus and make you feel like crap before he left.
Leave him and never look back, he obviously doesn't care about you!
Will you stop picking on the guy? FMLs are notoriously one sided, for all we know the OP is being a bitch and she just has a broad back like my friend who I find exceedingly interesting because of her man shoulders. She may just look conferable to him.
You can't say the guy didn't care for her. he lived with her for 9 years, that has to count for something. But times are a changing, its more acceptable to be gay so he is willing to strive out to find someone more compatible. Just be happy that he isn't cheating on you with another man.
She look a like a man! [/Ms. Swan]
Sorry, couldn't resist.
#24 - On 03/21/2009 at 12:23pm by i_am_not_me
Dear alisonwonderland (aka #4/#22),
If you have found yourself dating alot of homos, sickos, or fairy tale characters, then that is a legitimate worry.
But that is also because you have poor taste. Very poor taste.
Thus you have no one to blame but yourself.
#25 - On 03/21/2009 at 12:29pm by Speedyblurr
"Insinuated" means he didn't actually say it. Could it be that it was misunderstood? I've known women to take things out of context.
#27 - On 03/21/2009 at 12:38pm by llamatrauma
lol....bastard
If his ignition starts on reverse what can you do? okidoki time to shave your moustache
#31 - On 03/21/2009 at 1:03pm by humpty_dumpty
Wow what an FML... he shouldn't have pretended and then messed up someone else's life because he was too afraid of being himself.
#33 - On 03/21/2009 at 1:15pm by Cocacolalove11
That is just BRUTAL, take most of his money in the divorce to get him back.
#37 - On 03/21/2009 at 1:23pm by Anonymus101
im really sorry. that is horrible.
i wonder how long he's been hiding that for.
#39 - On 03/21/2009 at 1:30pm by bellaxobrianna
#22 and #4, your an idiot, i could go on why but it just seems like you are a lost cause
#40 - On 03/21/2009 at 1:32pm by kwbuzz23wk
DAMN! It's worse enough that he's gay (for you..not for him I guess) but he also said you look like a man? ouch...
al i have to say is: HAHAHAHAHAHA, sorry, what a bastard he is
#44 - On 03/21/2009 at 1:44pm by a1m2a3d4o5
at least, not zoophile.
- Dearie, my erection is only because of your hair on the back. You look like a bear for me.
#48 - On 03/21/2009 at 1:47pm by UlmarBroemel
insinuate:
verb imply, suggest, hint, indicate, intimate, allude
the guy didnt say she looked like a man. she's gathering this from his claim of being gay
#4 / #22, you're not a "lost cause" or an idiot, or whatever these insensitive morons want to try and insult you with, I feel the same, I'm worried I'll devote many years to a man, for him to cheat, leave me for another, come out gay, etc. and then have to spend the rest of my life alone because I'm simply too old to go out and find "love" again.
I don't care if now I get insulted, because I don't feel so alone anymore. Thank you. (:
50 if you just live with a man it would be much easier for him to leave you. if you spend your life afraid that you will marry a dick and therefor dont marry anyone before you know it you will be "too old to find a new love" as you say except you wont have a old love.
loves a bet but its a bet we all must take
#51 - On 03/21/2009 at 2:08pm by ndrocksmysocks44
she says he insinuated. insinuated means he gave a slight hint at it, not like said it to her. get it right people
I'm sorry to hear that. As a gay guy, that really makes me sick. I think he didn't have the right to ruin your life to save his.
I completely agree with #54 who deserves nine years of lies and such a rude comment like that??
and to everyone that is so worried there are plenty of good guys among the assholes and the more people that give those good guys a chance the more good guys there will be out there
#57 - On 03/21/2009 at 2:26pm by thatoneguyyoumet
Wtf does that have to do with anything? Dude wasn't a "good guy" or an "asshole guy". Dude was a gay guy.
#260 - On 09/11/2009 at 3:21am by moonlight_daze
lol at 48 by the way 4 i don't want to get married either for fear that the woman would divorce me and get my money also cause i don't wank to stick with one female for the rest of my life id probably just get tired of her.
Don't feel bad, he probably just insinuated it because he doesn't want to face the fact that he has a problem with himself. Don't let him go inflicting that same self-doubt/pity on you!
That is sooooo fucked up!!!!!!
If we say that it is an FML, then we're saying that marrying a woman when you're gay means that you think they look like a man, which is total BS. No. Because of Part 2 of the statement, I say she deserved it. Forced marriages don't necessarily mean anything.
Used? You act like this is the soul function of their relationship. If she has had a fairly typical life, then she would most likely have been living off of his income. In a sense, she used him as well. He is gay, so what? I wouldn't be surprised that gay men being married to women is a much more common issue than people think. Its not his fault that he dose not follow the believed norm. He really has no ability to do otherwise.
For all we know, she deserves it for being a bitch. in my opinion its fairly blank. shocking because its not herd very often but still its just another oddity of life.
im am SO sorry. i think it was rele mean of him to say u look like a man. like i said im rele rele rele rele rele rele rele sorry. stay strong
#64 - On 03/21/2009 at 2:51pm by love_is_pain
#22-- its never to late to find true love if u believe it can happen again. look at my grandma for example her husband died and then she got married again at like 68 i think. my mom she got divorced from a violent relationship and found it again bout 4 yrs later. u just need to have hope and BELIEVE
#69 - On 03/21/2009 at 3:04pm by love_is_pain
He didn't give her the comment, she just thought of it that way. He said that he was gay, she took it to mean that she looked like a man. It's called "reading too much into things."
Did he really say that? If he did, then he is a total bastard!
#71 - On 03/21/2009 at 3:17pm by pinkpikachu
don't worry about it, honestly, f his life he's the one that had to live with someone he's not attracted to for 9 years. if you were attracted to him and happy then who gives a shit? it's his loss and his problem :] he's a jerk anyway so he's doing you a favor!
LMAO!
wow haha 9 years. if he knew he was gay then he musta been cheating on you with guys id get yourself checked out.
That's really awful and I'm so sorry.
(Do you really look that masculine? If so... you might want to look into that. I really don't say that to be mean, but to avoid future confusions? Best of luck!)
That's awful!
How can people be saying she deserves this? As far as I can tell she didn't do anything to get this
#87 - On 03/21/2009 at 6:07pm by wotchersarah
i dont kno y it took him so long 2 tell u...i kno it happens but then when he said that u looked like a man!? u deserve better than that
#91 - On 03/21/2009 at 7:14pm by fmlrox334
why now? 9 years? how was he even able to hide for that long?
that puzzles me.
#98 - On 03/21/2009 at 9:46pm by rawblerawble
I have to agree with #87. She doesn't deserve this, nor should people ask her about her appearance. You're not helping her at all!
Dear, I'm sorry you had to put up with a selfish douche of a husband for 9 years. But it's better to cut your losses now and move on. Do whatever it takes to make you happy - get a makeover, go on a well-deserved vacation, etc. But don't give up on love - someone who truly loves you won't care for your appearance.
Hey wait a second, is your name Leanne Rimes? If so lucky you, at least you have that steamy co star to console you! If not, sorry-- you were a beard, now you don't have to be. Things to look out for in your next relationship:
1. Avoid men whose eyebrows, and/or downstairs areas are sculpted more than yours
2. Does he have more hair care products than you? If so, move on
3. Borrowing your clothes, big red flag, it is not cute for a guy even!
4. Perfect shopping companion? Great chef? Smells good all the time. . .RUN AWAY
Look at all the great women that have married gays, star jones, liza minelli, possibly leanne rimes, hence the joke I made at first, they aren't mannish, neither are you. Take him for all that he is worth, and remember my tips!
OMG im so sorry!!! Dont worry about it too much. Listen, my boyfriend who i dated for a long time and litterally said "I love you far beyond teenage lust, real love you know" just left me cus he was gay.... :( he got hard ons with me and i definately dont look like a man. If you need to talk with soomeone badly i know a woman who's husband, after 15 years of marriage and 3 kids, left cus he was gay.... I understand your pain
#104 - On 03/22/2009 at 12:08am by Saya_nee_chan
Gina8668 has a very good point... i made those mistakes. ugh -_-'''
#105 - On 03/22/2009 at 12:10am by Saya_nee_chan
ahahahah lol
well the only reason he married you is because society pressures people into heterosexual matrimony...specially in some countries.
What kind of fudge packer marries a woman anyways, let alone plow her for 9 years? That's real fucked up that guy may have some bigger issues than being gay. Run while you still can, and leave with half.
That sucks beyond belief. I feel really sorry for you. I would be so pissed!
#116 - On 03/22/2009 at 5:00pm by briiittxxhc
This is probably why people shouldn't pressure gay people into marrying straight people.
It only ends in heartbreak :/
@115: The OP wasn't bashing gay people. She just revealed that her husband deceived her for nine years, when she probably really loved him.
yeah :( im sorry but that is an asshole move! find someone who cares about you ....... and it took him 9 years weird :S
I dont even know how to react to this! this is horrid, and I am so sorry!
#128 - On 03/29/2009 at 8:50pm by antoinette_hys23
The first part really isn't that big of a deal, it's a lot more common than you would think. Well, yes, it is a big deal, but it's not all that terrible. The second part, though, is a different story... If you're interested, I know of a site that is for MOMs (Mixed Orientation Marriages), where there are a lot of people who have been through what you're going through who are very nice and happy to help you with any issues you might have
this makes me so sad for you, its truly pathetic for a man to feel he had to pretend to be straight in this day and age, and more than that, KNOWINGLY deceive you for probably OVER 9 years. i mean its not like they met and got married straight away, they most likely dated for some time before that.
as if thats not devastating enough, to say that awful thing to you? talk about getting kicked while youre down. how cowardly and despicable.
NO ONE deserves that, i am so sorry :(
Ouch. I'm sorry that had to happen to you! It's not easy when someone whom you loved for such a long time turns out to be someone you didn't expect. Really, I'm sorry. :(
Asshole. Why would he pretend to be someone he's not.
#135 - On 04/19/2009 at 9:55pm by ironyofmylife
OMG IM SOOOOO SORRY!!!!!!!!
i bet u don't look like a man don't worry, guys just say stupid things to cover up for the mistakes they make.
#137 - On 04/21/2009 at 7:52pm by DanielleMazz
he's just an a ring. ditch him. divorce is definately the first thing on your mind right now if i were you hed be out of the house and id be throwing high heels at him from the front door. when hes getting his stuff pack in a dress somewhere...
#138 - On 04/24/2009 at 4:55pm by babygurl88
#4, grow up, get married, have sex, have kids. Your life isnt f*cked. #4's is. just find a new man.
#142 - On 05/09/2009 at 9:55pm by porkchop69
wow that blows, what an ass he didn't have to insinuate anything
#143 - On 05/12/2009 at 9:38am by justreadin
Ouch... Well it's funny to read, but if this is true, it's pretty hurtin'.. so in advance... I am sorry to you..
What a double feature, Gay and thinks you look like a man..
He's not as bad as you think. Yeah, it's a FML because he basically said you look like a man but he spared you from the drama of life on the DL(Down Low) and he really cared about you because he was honest and wanted you to know the truth was the fact that he likes dude (or trannys) but I'm sorry about the break-up and I think after some time you can be friends. I know dudes who have been married and had kids and they don't come owt of the closet until 50 or 60 years old and I agree with #111.
I would've said " The only reason I got wet was because you were so "tiny" and feminine, I'm glad you finally came out now I can come out too and you'll look like the bad guy", not bc you're a lesbian just bc it sure would give him a run for his money :)
asshole...
He first tells you he is gay and JUST TO ADD TO IT., says you look like a man. Wow.
#149 - On 05/27/2009 at 2:19pm by bibilaurrr
omgggggg lol poooorr yuuuuu
wowww hess insaneeee dump
hissss asss!
#151 - On 05/30/2009 at 5:12pm by FUCKTHIS92
lol #4 is all depends, if your a girl? you have boobs that arnt flat like flapjacks, OR some kind of caboose, or if your a guy dint have long girly hair ^^?
#152 - On 06/01/2009 at 7:07pm by rollandrock1
It's not because you look like a man (u probably don't) it's because he feels he needs an excuse to be gay.
#160 - On 06/19/2009 at 1:59am by Beachbaybe
Awww I'm so sorry!!!!!
I feel so bad for you and # 1 is right this is a real FML
#161 - On 06/20/2009 at 1:05am by icutiejenny
if he was gay he shouldn't have married you in the first place and put you in this position
#162 - On 06/23/2009 at 3:35am by AbsolutelyInsane
Ok I don't blame him for telling you that he is gay... If he knew he was gay then he shouldn't have married you but if he just discoved this you can't really blame him for being what he is. I do think the second part should have been kept to himself if it is true. Devorce him and find yourself a new man (only if you want) ... you will both be better off. It will get better, just hang in there.
I have a difficult time believing that he is truly the one at fault here. You claim that he insinuated that you look like a main, but really *you inferred* that he insinuated that. You are taking what he said through your own lense of perspective. Perhaps that's not what he was insinuating at all. Maybe it just took him a really long time to realize he was gay, and was trying to explain it in a way as to not hurt you, and was having difficulty finding the right words. He did not SAY that you look like a man. You inferred it from what he said, and we don't even know what it is exactly that he did say.
#165 - On 07/09/2009 at 5:22pm by Americaussie
What the fuck? What's he doing married to a girl then? Well anyways I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe next time you should try to pick guys up at a football game instead of a ballet.
#166 - On 07/10/2009 at 11:24am by epicFAIL_Sometim
This is completely shitty for you :/ but hilarious for the rest of us XD
So it's like "LMAO! I am so sorry..."
#169 - On 08/01/2009 at 7:40pm by MadeOfAwesome
What a bastard! I hope that you unmanned him straight pointy stilletto straight to the saggy bags he calls balls. And there is no such damned thing as just figuring out you are gay after 9 years of marraige! That is such bullshit. All of my gay friends, closeted ot no have said that they knew what they were by the age of 5. Its okay tho honey cuz in 9 years he will dump his boyfriend and tell him that he is really straight.
They definitely are! I hated the first few, but these recent ones are actually funny!
#184 - On 09/05/2009 at 2:03pm by anniebananie
If the author of the illustration is reading this - GREATTTTTT JOB!!!!
Unlike the past drawings where the artists would go off on a stupid tangent, you've managed to keep the FML intact while adding your own small amount of humour. Good going!
#185 - On 09/05/2009 at 2:12pm by funnyduck0
The artists alaways read the comments, they actually like them a lot, may the comments be positive or negative!
GOOD LORD THE ILLUSTRATION IS BEAUTIFUL.
Haha they've been getting better. :)
#190 - On 09/05/2009 at 3:15pm by drinkupgorgeous
That was a good illustration. Unlike a lot of crappy ones I could mention, it stays within the original confines of the FML without adding any crazy bullshit. well done. As for the OP, that's really awful. It sounds to me like he's not really gay, he just really hates you, and wants to get out of the relationship while hurting you as much as possible. Don't believe him when he says you look like a man. I'm certain you're a beautiful woman.
Awwww that sucks, you have my sympathy =(
Btw, LOL @ the illustration xD
#192 - On 09/05/2009 at 3:17pm by Showmehowtolive
that is a true FML. also, i love the comic...the pic at the end is brilliant!
#194 - On 09/05/2009 at 3:39pm by _iloveyou_
He could have been in severe denial; so severe that he married a woman to convince himself he was straight. As for the erection part, the fact of the matter is: sex is sex. He didn't insinuate that you look like a man, he's just been getting hard all these years because he was going to put his penis in you and achieve an orgasm.
#196 - On 09/05/2009 at 3:53pm by SexyMcBeast
That you're a woman
that looks like man
that gets gay guys turned on
#221 - On 09/06/2009 at 12:59am by tanman0401
#201 - LMFAO. that was great. hahahaa. sorry, i feel bad for you. -.-
#268 - On 10/09/2009 at 5:32pm by katrinaa_13
LMAOOO ! OMFG ! I stopped breathing for a couple of seconds , but THIS is a true FML .
#207 - On 09/05/2009 at 7:58pm by vampirishhSA
LOL. Finally, a good illustrated FML! This is only the second one I've actually really liked. Great illustration, and great interpretation of the original FML. It doesn't boringly follow it to the letter, but it also doesn't go completely far off to the point where it's just weird, like a lot of the other illustrated FML's do.
#208 - On 09/05/2009 at 8:31pm by liquidskyfire
Best. Illustrated. FML. Ever!
BRAVO! Great work, very funny.
#210 - On 09/05/2009 at 8:48pm by InsaneOblongata
Its also possible that you misinterpreted what he said, and the illustration is hilarious thumbs up!
#211 - On 09/05/2009 at 9:36pm by RetardedBuddy
HAHAHAHA
and more
HAHHHAA !!
thank you
you just made my day !
#213 - On 09/05/2009 at 10:29pm by zmatheo
Great comic but can't help but say that there are more words on the comic than the actual written fml
Not sure why that would even matter, but it actually has the exact same amount of words.
#234 - On 09/06/2009 at 3:13pm by o0ginger0o
Yup. 27 words in the comic and actual FML. And great comic at that!
#241 - On 09/06/2009 at 11:18pm by kirbyfan23
Wow, I seriously thought of Revolver Ocelot when I saw the woman's face.
Edit: #205 had the same idea, so I guess it's not just me :D
#216 - On 09/05/2009 at 11:49pm by NamelessNeko
Just let him put it in your butt........win/win ;)
#222 - On 09/06/2009 at 2:12am by somethingclever1
I fucking LOVE this illustration. Its one of the best yet :D I just lol'd so hard I spat coke all over my keyboard.
The illustration wasn't good until I saw how he drew the wife in the last panel.
That's epic, I laughed for a good while. XD
#236 - On 09/06/2009 at 5:02pm by hothotheat_
1) That sucks
2) The illustration is funny as hell
3) Least you don't have kids with him?
#238 - On 09/06/2009 at 7:45pm by HighSchoolFail
Lmfao. In the comic she did look like a man. Blonde mustache.
#246 - On 09/07/2009 at 11:43am by ClumsyJason
i know how you feel. my now ex felt that he broke up with me because he wanted to date guys. and yet he just went through a relationship with my best friend
#251 - On 09/08/2009 at 2:10am by Licantropo_x
hahaha thats fuckin funny. awesome comic. you may want to consider changing your face or something.
#252 - On 09/08/2009 at 2:43pm by FMLfangirl89
Insinuated can be a statement from anything like: "Well... honey, you are really butch..." to "Well... honey, it really wasn't that difficult to pretend."
Women do read into things, but men usually don't beat around the bush either. (Well, in this case...)
Never-the-less, you'd figure the asshole would at least have attempted to figure it out nine years ago. This FML only sates the wifes part in it, but how many kids did they have and how many lives did he just royally fuck up? And, the question I think everyone is asking themselves, who the hell did he find out he was gay with...?
Frank the neighbor dude with long blond hair, man-boobs, and an extremely feminine voice?
#256 - On 09/10/2009 at 8:17pm by desertkitt
Um...I'm sure that conversation was shocking and upsetting, but the OP really only told us part of the story. Calling the guy a jerk or saying that he's mean is a total empathy fail. Probably not many people know what it's like to be in a committed heterosexual relationship and then at some point realize you aren't heterosexual. STILL, I would guess this guy isn't some evil mastermind who orchestrated this whole situation just to upset this one woman.
#262 - On 09/15/2009 at 5:51pm by Googalitarian
ohmyword. Thats horrible but the comic is hilarious you deserve better and that is one of the worst FML's ive seen
#266 - On 09/20/2009 at 5:57pm by ahhitsanais
Damn that sucks. If i where you I would punch him in the gut, kick him out and sell all his stuff (Before the devorse). But, I feel so sorry for you. Hope it works out for you.
#267 - On 10/03/2009 at 9:43am by Joseph_M_M
definitely FML but you also kinda deserved that for not being able to tell your husband of 9 years was gay you could have avoided that whole thing if u did
LMAO! That sucks but then again u deserve it in a way
#275 - On 01/14/2010 at 11:02pm by evilmonkey02
