Today, I told the guy I have been sort of dating that I want to connect emotionally before sleeping with him. He told me that he already had an emotional connection with his fiancee and was only interested in sleeping with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31457) - you totally deserved it (5447)
On 08/31/2009 at 11:56pm - love - by MenSuck (woman) - United States (Florida)
Good for you for speaking up - and at least he was honest about what he wants. Now you can walk away with only a little hurt, not a big one!
well, when it comes to guys, basically its: handsome, mentaly stable, and single, except you can only pick 2
#32 - On 09/01/2009 at 3:32am by brutallyhonest24
#32 Well then what about a guy who is handsome, mentally stable and not single? Then he goes and dumps his girlfriend, isn’t he now all 3? Basically I think a guy can be either, funny, handsome, nice guy or mentally stable. A girl can pick at most 3/4 of these qualities, the last quality he’ll have will always be the exact opposite of the one she didn’t pick.
#64 - On 09/01/2009 at 11:58am by UncleverName_FYL
But he would never dump his girlfriend. Or he would immediatly go to another girl who isn't you and you're fucked once again. That's the point.
"...Well, she was precious like a flower
She grew wild, wild but innocent
A perfect prayer in a desperate hour
She was everything beautiful and different
Stupid boy, you can't fence that in
Stupid boy, it's like holding back the wind
she laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
Stupid boy, stupid boy
Oh..."
#6 - On 09/01/2009 at 2:55am by ireply_w_lyrics
That was a beautiful trolling. What's the song name?
#21 - On 09/01/2009 at 3:12am by LaceyPatrickson
actually, it not trollin. im tryin to reply to FMLs with lyrics from a song that will relate to the FML. the only tough part is tryin to figure it out before everyone else replies and you are at the bottom.
and "stupid Boy" by keith urban
#24 - On 09/01/2009 at 3:16am by ireply_w_lyrics
Wow dude(tte), you're so awesome! The way you reply to someone's problems with songs you didn't even write is totally not douchey! Seriously! How did you think of such awesomeness?
hmm no #53, no one could detect the sarcasm there!
OP: I hope you slapped him before you walked away. And people wonder why I don't trust men. Ha ha ha.
You've been sorta dating him?
So... either you have slept with him, and you arn't dating him, which i would call you a slut...
or... You havn't done anything with him, then i would say, big deal?
Agreed. OP hasn't hasn't felt an emotional connection and hasn't had sex with the guy. By "sort of dating" she probably meant only she thought they were dating.
no...not "either"...just OR...because she specifically said in the FML that they didn't have sex yet. She wanted to establish an emotional connection BEFORE sleeping with him.
#35 - On 09/01/2009 at 3:37am by Puolukka
Yeah, dude, if you're only "sort of dating" what's with the "I want to emotionally connect before sex"?
So you were going to have sex even when you were only "sort of dating"? Quite contradictory of the emotional connection part.
Unless you were meaning you wanted to make your relationship serious, then you should have put it another way. Honestly, not much of a emotional connection if you basically say "yeah I'll have sex with you, but only if you agree to be seriously boyfriend and girlfriend" - once again, contradictory.
Also it sounds to me like he was trying to pressure you into sex through your "relationship." That should be a red flag right there that he's not into you for you and that you need to ditch him.
#18 - On 09/01/2009 at 3:04am by DameGreyWulf
Maybe she meant, that they were just kind of starting to date, and he wanted sex, but she wanted to actually be in more of a relationship with him before doing so.
#84 - On 09/01/2009 at 4:34pm by XxKate1294xX
If that is what she meant, that's still most definitely a red flag she needs to bail on him.
#90 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:47pm by DameGreyWulf
I say fuck him, take pictures, and find out who his fiance is. Show her the pics and have her dump him. Hooray! You can both find trustworthy guys.
That sounds like an excellent idea. And ferret through his email and what-not. There might be a few other girls who are being led astray by this snake in the grass.
#23 - On 09/01/2009 at 3:15am by GreenAlbatross
For once, I completely agree with you.
Though I think you should tone down the caps. You'll look more intelligent.
#26 - On 09/01/2009 at 3:18am by DameGreyWulf
I disagree about early sex. I don't see a girl as a slut just because she puts out earlier. Being interested in sex first in no way prevents me from being interested in a girl's personality...quite the contrary, it's a bit of an attention-grabber for me.
#30 - On 09/01/2009 at 3:24am by regalarius
I agree with regalarius.
I had sex with a guy after less than a week - now here we are 4 years later and married...
#37 - On 09/01/2009 at 3:39am by Puolukka
I agree as well.I have been with my bf for 2 1/2 years now. It really depends on the situation and the people I think.As they say there is an exception to every rule.
If he is already cheating on someone, why would he answer you truthfully if you ask if he has a wife/girlfriend/fiancee? Blaming the girl for a guy being a total sleeze is pretty backward. If he being sexual with her at all, he is proclaiming that he is available to her.
#43 - On 09/01/2009 at 5:08am by startafire
"If you do not wait at least 2 weeks before giving him sex, and you don't bond with him first, he is almost always going to simply view you as a slut."
You're a fucking moron...
Sleeping with someone with no long-term commitment in mind means your a slut not the time frame.
Also, it sickens me that society fails to see the flaws in the view "Sleeping with somebody and not really know them makes the woman a slut" What the fuck? wouldn't that make BOTH people "easy" or "sluts"?
Put your finger on the trigger and fucking pull it "pimpin88".
Andrew, you are correct.
And yes, the timeframe doesn't always count, BUT you all missed the fact he also said "AND BEFORE YOU GUYS HAVE AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION" and "and you don't bond with him first"
Meaning, if you want to be serious, you better take it seriously, which sometimes means taking it slower for some people.
At least, that was the idea I was intending to agree with.
And, yes, both people are easy sluts.
Also about the asking, I agree it is not where you should stop. You should probably "investigate" a little into it.
Of course many cheaters are just interested in the sex and don't really give a shit if you know they already have a partner.
#76 - On 09/01/2009 at 2:47pm by DameGreyWulf
if you didnt realize, most guys dont care if theyre viewed as sluts...especially douche bags who try to hook up with as many girls as possible
#87 - On 09/01/2009 at 5:11pm by canucksrule88
to #62, i just absolutely loove how you say "sleeping with someone while not in a long-term relationship...-------it has nothing to do with the time frame." wow. there was absoluuutely no sarcasm in that. not. at. all.
#89 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:05pm by tangerine_12
I must say, although he's a scumbag piece of shit, at least the man was honest
#28 - On 09/01/2009 at 3:23am by Nicoleismyname
when u fuck a girl til she cries in ecstasy, that's all the emotional connection u need
#45 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:02am by FlaminYawn
and pimpin is right. I used to be a huge player, and from Jan-Nov of '04 I fucked 48 girls. None made me wait. That Nov. I met a girl I liked and she made me wait 6 weeks, we've been together ever since and married now, and I've never cheated on her.
#47 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:10am by FlaminYawn
wow man i've never said this to any other guy before but, you’re the first that I think truly deservers the title of man sult. Huge player is an understatement for 48??, If you’re telling the truth that would be more than a girl a week. I have nothing against players I tend to be one myself, but you really should be taking breaks in between gaming.
#67 - On 09/01/2009 at 12:14pm by UncleverName_FYL
So the only reason you like your wife is because she made you wait? If so then wow that's sad, but most likely no, and she probably had a lot of other good qualities. Just because that happened to you doesn't mean a girl making a man wait and good relationships go hand in hand. Your wife wanted a real relationship and you two were compatible already. Her making you wait probably did make you chase her and resulted in you getting to know her but the other girl who didn't make you wait most likely didn't want a relationship with you or just weren't your type anyways.
I know many people who had sex and hooked up before they started dating and it still worked out. So the two situations don't really have the same result.
So go for it if you want to or just leave him. Problem solved.
#49 - On 09/01/2009 at 6:29am by besad
Okay, let me ask: When someone posts an FML, what point in time do they stop crying about their problems and say "Oh man, THIS is so going on Fmylife.com!"
Just a question, not trolling.
THANK YOU! I've always wondered... I mean, if something horrible happens to me, I think, "I'm going to beat that idiot up," NOT, "Gosh, where is the closest place with wireless? This is going to be a winner on FMyLife!"
#69 - On 09/01/2009 at 12:44pm by GirlFromKuwait
You're dumb, if he didn't ask you out, don't say "sort of boyfriend" you're either dating or you're not. no in between, except in between your ass crack. Now stop being a bitch and put out.
YDI 15 times for having your name be MenSuck. Women suck and that proves it.
#55 - On 09/01/2009 at 8:16am by cannibalcorpseXD
agreed plexico.
a threesome is definitely in order here
#86 - On 09/01/2009 at 5:01pm by canucksrule88
I gotta go with plexico on this. There are those of use out there whom don't go trolling outside our relationships. You don't often hear about us wholesome folks because we don't go on and on on the internet about our hot ass at home because we don't wnat all the nasty skanks trying to steal our good men.
the fact that this is mostly what's out there in the dating world is why I'd rather go through life single. who needs that shit?
#60 - On 09/01/2009 at 10:38am by gothic_cat_lady
At least he was honest with you... You banged him for being honest right? Look on the bright side, you can have a friend with benefits. Loosen up your morals (legs) just lay back and let it happen.
#65 - On 09/01/2009 at 12:05pm by donkey_hang_down
Hhahahahha! Honestly, the vast majority of us [men] don't give a rats ass about an emotional connection. All we want is to rip your panties off, tickle your bellybutton from the inside and send you on your walk of shame..
I'm going to have to call [citation needed] on your comment. Yes, there are a lot of shallow guys out there, but there are also many like myself that appreciate an emotional connection.
#71 - On 09/01/2009 at 1:19pm by aquilo
It's great you're the shining example of what many of us are not, but your single reply has proven my point :)
At least he's honest about what he wants.
Get out of that "relationship". He's already taken, and he only wants you for sex.
I do NOT see how this is a FML. I don't even see how this got approved.
Another case-in-point for the call for a 'Meh' button on FML.
You seem very needy/clingy with stalker tendencies. What does 'sort of dating' mean? He orders a big mac from you twice a week?
well now he is not responsible for u since--you said it yourself-- u guys are KIND OF dating ie. met at a bar, one night stand. ur jus one of those people that think since they have a good time with someone u tend to "cling" to them.
quit being so obssessed geeze
#85 - On 09/01/2009 at 4:36pm by Jonathan33
PEOPLE!! THINK for a second! The "kind of dating" is pretty much a no-brainer if you actually think about it. It means that they were hanging out a lot, flirting, maybe even going out on "dates" that are just not specifically defined as dates. As in, the OP was thinking they were ALMOST dating...which is why the OP was talking to this guy about wanting an emotional connection--she was starting a conversation about "officially" dating!
I agree. She's not talking about a bf. This is just some guy who is already attached to someone else. He was honest with you and you couldn't handle it. YDI
#94 - On 09/01/2009 at 11:32pm by bigcrazymike
Uh, no she doesn't deserve it. She had no idea he was in a relationship. He should have told her. That makes him an asshole. She doesn't deserve anything for someone being an asshole to her.
I love to quote myself.
"Yeah, dude, if you're only "sort of dating" what's with the "I want to emotionally connect before sex"?
So you were going to have sex even when you were only "sort of dating"? Quite contradictory of the emotional connection part.
Unless you were meaning you wanted to make your relationship serious, then you should have put it another way. Honestly, not much of a emotional connection if you basically say "yeah I'll have sex with you, but only if you agree to be seriously boyfriend and girlfriend" - once again, contradictory.
Also it sounds to me like he was trying to pressure you into sex through your "relationship." That should be a red flag right there that he's not into you for you and that you need to ditch him."
Has nothing to do with him being honest and her not being able to handle it.
[edit] Eff, this was in response to the post above mine and its reply. Damn reply system faultiness...
#95 - On 09/02/2009 at 12:35am by DameGreyWulf
um how about they weren't quite dating so she was saying, hey let's start officially dating. And maybe she just felt like she should tell him right away that she wanted to wait for awhile to get to know each other before having sex, instead of, like some people do, just have sex right as soon as they are "officially" dating someone. No where does the OP imply that this guy was pressuring her into sex. No where does it say she that she wanted to have sex when they were only sort of dating. The wanting an emotional connection implies she wanted more of a relationship.
Yes, duh, but she should have never mentioned the sex part. There was no reason for her to. That makes it sound like "yeah if you agree we're official I'll screw you" OR it makes it sound like he was bringin the subject of sex up A LOT and thus she should have known he was no good.
#103 - On 09/03/2009 at 1:03am by DameGreyWulf
Uh, read the first part of my comment again. Maybe she just wanted to make it clear, right off the bat that if/when they started dating, she still didn't want to have sex right away. That's NOT saying "Let's trade sex for 'officially' dating!"
"Today, I told the guy I have been sort of dating that I want to connect emotionally before sleeping with him."
Implied she actually mentioned the sleeping with him. I said that, depending on the situation, it then can be further inferred that either she said "say we're official and then we'll screw" (which does NOT mean that IS what she meant, but rather means that is a possible implication that he could have easily thought of and used against her) OR, if you would have continued to read my post, it meant that the man was constantly bringing up the subject of sex, and her first instinct then should have been to bail.
But she has commented now.
#107 - On 09/03/2009 at 5:56pm by DameGreyWulf
Just what I thought...you still have no idea what I said. Maybe read it a few more times? Will that work? Can you understand it then?
Hes an asshole but YDI for wanting to "connect emotionally" but not even picking up on the signs that he was already emotionally taken and just wanted to fuck. Or maybe YDI just because you're a slut and don't realize it yet.
#96 - On 09/02/2009 at 12:57am by xetvu
I don't know why everyone thinks it was horrible that she actually wanted to be emotionally involved with a guy she was gonna have sex with not everyone is a slut. OP, the guy you were sort of dating is a totally ass hole. I would have kicked him in the balls and left, but not before find out his girl's number. I mean I would. You might not care about the guy or even know the girl, but it's possible she's someone like you and if he was going to cheat with you he is going to or probably is cheating with other people and she deserves to know.
This is hilarious. And all you people are fucktards.
#99 - On 09/02/2009 at 8:35am by GlumpyWonderCat
It's amazing how everyone seems to think it's okay for him to cheat on his future wife, as long as he's honest with the chick he wants to bang...?
Yeah, seriously.... especially since the chick he wants to bang does not want that kind of banging. This guy's all around dirt.
#104 - On 09/03/2009 at 1:05am by DameGreyWulf
Just to clear the air:
1.I'm not a slut, obviously, since I didn't sleep with the creep
2.I did not know about the girl
3.Sort of dating means: going on dates, kissing, holding hands, but not boyfriend/girlfriend (aka that weird stage when your facebook relationship status goes blank or to it's complicated)
4.Trust me, I ran very fast, and there were no obvious warning signs
5.Thanks for reading.
well, I..... hmmm, guess you just suck at life, like all day long and stuff.
#111 - On 09/04/2009 at 4:32pm by puddinpowder
*Agrees with #111* OP, you pretty much do suck at life.
#112 - On 09/04/2009 at 7:44pm by helpmeiamblind
You are just sexist aren't you? Actually, don't answer that. Everyone can tell from your FML ID.
#114 - On 09/05/2009 at 7:49pm by antonioohama
Damn that sucks. Probably would've been a good idea to find out more about him first. But still, what a fucking asshole. Any dude who acts like that straight up doesn't deserve you or his fiance. There are some real pricks on this website who just want to poke fun at this sort of thing just to feel better about their inadequacies.
#115 - On 10/07/2009 at 8:13pm by Sorrytohearthat
"Emotional connection"... what bullshit. I'm sure if he was hotter or richer you would've jumped right into the sack with him, no questions asked. YDI.
#116 - On 10/14/2009 at 7:36pm by Emperor_Jim
