Today, my boyfriend of over a year finally told me he loved me. This revelation was quickly followed by "at least, I think this is how people feel when they say that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31500) - you totally deserved it (2870)
On 06/02/2009 at 7:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
So what? This isn't an FML. If this is the first time he's been in love how the hell WOULD he know what it really feels like?
Stop being so goddamn sensitive about it.
#1 - On 06/02/2009 at 2:09pm by genius_man16
nah don't worry about it, he was probably not meaning it the way you interpreted it - some people aren't good with words at such moments
#2 - On 06/02/2009 at 2:12pm by Mr_Positive
pshh. thats sweet if you think about it. I think it's good that you have a guy that actually cares about saying HOW he feels. Not just saying something because it is conventional. Too many relationships are full of empty promises today. Kudos to him for taking time and making sure he feels the way he does.
i agree with #1... and actually... it sounds like your boyfriend was honest and sweet about it.
#8 - On 06/02/2009 at 2:15pm by fuckyourmom
So what? Either he really truly loves you, or he believes that he really truly loves you. Either way, you clearly don't deserve it. =/
#11 - On 06/02/2009 at 2:15pm by deliciouskaek
That's pretty funny. It's not a big deal, but it's cute so I think it deserves to be an FML.
#12 - On 06/02/2009 at 2:20pm by bonafidehustler
Aww, that's really sweet ^_^ I'd feel really special that he cares enough to make sure that's how he feels
I think its funny that this person has a boyfriend for over a year that may not even love her.
#20 - On 06/02/2009 at 2:33pm by MrJentipede
i think it's a sin that he only thinks he loves her ,
jesus , don't say nothing till your 100% sure ,
i can def. see how this is an FML.
#22 - On 06/02/2009 at 2:37pm by looneytune13
...You've been dating for a year, and he only just said he loves you? Stop whining. Either love isn't important in this relationship, in which case this situation doesn't matter, or you're an idiot for wanting/needing love and staying in a relationship where you're not getting it for a year. If it takes you that long to figure out if you love someone, it's time for a break.
supreme agreement with #11.
and supreme disagreement with #27, WTF are you thinking.
love is the strongest bond two people can share, if he didnt want to say it wrongly and wind up hurting you, why is that bad? clearly he cares about you alot, and really does NOT want to mess up. #27, your just fucking stupid (your_face? really? mature name, 12 year old). really. a year? not that long in the grand scheme of things. at all.
But hey, at least you took it well right?
#28 - On 06/02/2009 at 2:55pm by thatwasobvious
Wow, yeah, I can see how your life is fucked, you know, being the first person your boyfriend has ever even thought he loved. Poor you.
#29 - On 06/02/2009 at 2:57pm by smalltowngirl88
Can't wait for the follow-up moment from your boyfriend after you dump him over something stupid. Since you're probably his first love, he'll be crushed like a little bug and will go into his next relationship afraid to commit. The cycle will continue.
Good luck dying alone, you nitpicky leotard.
LOL #7 That song rocks. OP don't worry about it that means that your his first love if he doesn't know what it felt like then.
#34 - On 06/02/2009 at 3:04pm by HahaThatBites
Wow, your boyfriend told you that he loves you, and that even though he isn't sure of the word for it, he's sure he feels that way. F your life indeed.
Usually I'll click YDI when it's not really an FML on the grounds that, if the person believes it to be an FML, they deserve to have their lives fucked for worrying about it. However, in this case, I'm not sure I can say the OP deserves this guy if this is how ey is reacting to that, so....
If he's never been in love before, then how would he know what it feels like? This can't be an FML, beceuse he has clearly never been in love if he said that. You should be happy he loves you!
#42 - On 06/02/2009 at 3:14pm by jollyholly414
# 27 ftw. Shame on you for staying if you're not getting what you need. It sounds like neither of you know your ass from a hole in the ground, so it might be best if you take a break from each other and figure out who you are and what you want and need.
#45 - On 06/02/2009 at 3:18pm by JuJuBeeSunshine
I think he was just being honest, and at first it would have come across the wrong way, when you think about it, it is quite sweet.
#46 - On 06/02/2009 at 3:19pm by yazzykevin
He (probably) never loved someone before and isn't sure if he loves you or not. But love can't be rushed. He's not sure and you shouldn't try to rush him.
Love takes time. He's not sure if he loves you but at least you know he likes you enough to think he loves you (and he probably does love you because he wanted to tell you he loves you)
And to number 27:
YOU FUCK YOURSELF
Love takes time. You are incredibly stupid to think that over a year someone is supposed to be sure if they someone or not. Love takes time. You are an idiot. You can't just say that since they haven't proclaimed their love for each other you should break up. It's like in movies when the girlfriends mother tells the boyfriend that she doesn't think that they should be in a relationship unless they're planing to get married (It's been done to death)
But you don't have to be in love to want to be in a relationship with someone. If they make each other happy but don't love each other. They want to be together just don't really love each other.
But i guess it's not really the case for the OP =)
#51 - On 06/02/2009 at 3:36pm by MizzHollywood
The plus side is probably that he's a steady guy and really means it...down side maybe not so romantic, passionate/spontaneous. If you love him too, don't let it get you down.
woah, #1 take your bad day out on somebody much? haha
#53 - On 06/02/2009 at 3:37pm by samanzibar
I agree with 38. Especially since this site has become so popular, more and more useless FML's make it through the filter and I want to spit on FML's like this one and ones like the "when did the condom break?" that really have no business being on this site. Its people seeking a pity-party, and it's replacing the usually entertaining (yet upsetting) stories with just whiny blog entries.
Give me a button so I can say "F your FML"
#55 - On 06/02/2009 at 3:44pm by cpatrick820
I'm saying YDI and I don't mean that in a bad way at all. He feels close enough to you to be open about his doubts and insecurities. He completely let his guard down with you. Even if it wasn't quite the romantic way you imagined hearing those words from him for the first time, take the way he said it as a testament to the strength of your relationship. Guys who are willing to be completely honest rather than feeding you lines will usually be the ones worth holding on to, so I say get over your disappointment and appreciate the fact that this guy trusts you enough to be so open with you.
Today, I told my girlfriend I loved her. She's the first person I ever felt this strongly for, and I think it really is love. After, she ran onto FML and posted a story about it... FML
Seriously, this isn't a FML.
I completely agree with #1. This is not FML worthy. He loves you! That's a bad thing? If it was his first love how would he know how he felt? Get over it.
#60 - On 06/02/2009 at 3:50pm by happygoluckyhh
Way to completely over-analyze what he said. He said that he loved you and you're worried about that? Be grateful that he said it.
stop being so damn senstive he meant it in a caring way and he had the guts to say it. He might not know what it feels like but if he thinks he;s in love and he told you you could do him a favour and go with it instead of posting how horrible it was. This isn;t a FML.
#62 - On 06/02/2009 at 3:51pm by Darkenwrath
its hard to express yourself.... he probally didnt wanted to say it this way, it sounds kind of hard.
but if he is youre first one, he doesnt know what he feels.....
It could have been worse. He could have said, "You don't have to say it back, but you do have to give me a bj."
#65 - On 06/02/2009 at 3:55pm by davidtheday
You've found someone who loves you... fuck your life?
#68 - On 06/02/2009 at 3:58pm by Sgt_Schadenfreud
Boo fucking hoo your boyfriend finally fell in love with you a year after simply using you as a status symbol and an entity for sexual relief.
Im assuming you're about 13-16 since you interpreted his message as offensive and over-reacted, posting this as an FML. Most relationships function on those two things at your age or at least one of those depending on where you live.
The world isnt over ffs
After reading the comments, I realized that these days people take much longer to say "I love you" than to have sex.
#71 - On 06/02/2009 at 4:15pm by UsingLogic
he seems a little nervous, which most guys would be when telling a girlfriend something like this. you act like he should love you if you've been dating for a year, which is asking a lot. a lot of guys would put up with a girl for a lot longer than a year not loving them, just liking them ok and using them for sex and companionship.
be grateful that somebody loves you.
#73 - On 06/02/2009 at 4:19pm by guitardedman
#9 and everyone else who says there is no definition of love - if you can't define what it means, don't tell ever tell anyone you love them, because it means nothing to you.
MY DEFINITION: To me, love isn't a feeling, it's a promise; it is a concern for and a devotion to the happiness, personal growth, and physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being of another.
This kind of devotion can be applied to relationships with parents, children, friends, pets, romantic partners, siblings, extended family, even strangers. It isn't fleeting - it's an ACT, not an emotion. Even if I FEEL furious at my sister, for example, I'd still DO nearly anything to make sure she's happy and well.
I think people don't like using the same word - love - to describe such different relationships as they have with, say, their parents as they do with romantic partners. It helps if you think of the emotions associated with love as a cluster concept, with a bunch of different feelings (loyalty, sexual attraction, enjoyment of being with this person, joy, etc.) that may be present, but they don't all have to be there at the same time, and they don't all have to be present for every person one loves.
I hope you do share this connection with people, even if you don't call it love.
#75 - On 06/02/2009 at 4:23pm by RoyalJesteress
He's not the best at words but don't confuse that with what he's saying. If he waited a year to say it then he probably means "I love you.". Don't look at it the wrong way.
And for those that are saying "took him a year to say it Jesus...." you are fools. You cannot be rushed into saying it. PERIOD! My gf(well ex which is what I'm getting to) told me she loved me after two months, I basically did what this guy did at the time and say I think I did too. In month three I told her I loved her no questions. Didn't have a month four. So your fools to think you should ever say this before you mean it.
Yeah and I know how some will respond to this. Screw them. t(0.0)t
#76 - On 06/02/2009 at 4:25pm by TheWhiteWhale
* "don't ever tell"
Ignore the extra "tell." Blasted typos.
#78 - On 06/02/2009 at 4:28pm by RoyalJesteress
How the hell is this an FYL. Atleast he said he loved you you ungrateful bitch.
#79 - On 06/02/2009 at 4:32pm by shameonmedude
I learn a lot about girls reading these kind of fml.. very wierd i would think you where happy that you have a boyfriend who is so honost about his fealings..
:S So your boyfriend basicly tells you that he's never felt the way he feels about you before in his entire life, and you say fml?
I think you need to learn to understand people a bit better?
I hope he breaks up with you for being so ungrateful and self-centered. Many people would kill to have a significant other like yours.
#84 - On 06/02/2009 at 5:01pm by slitherysloth
He doesn't kno..
U can really blame him..
If anything u should feel honored cuz u jus may very well be da first person he loved
#85 - On 06/02/2009 at 5:06pm by SlyCooper601
I'd think that was the sweetest thing ever if a boy said that to me !
Stop whining, you've got a lovely boyfriend.
You sound like my ex girlfriend.
She had emotional bipolar disordar and manic depression and eventually hung herself because I just tried being nice like the guy you show in this but she took it like I didnt "love her."
Girls can be so bs about this shit
#90 - On 06/02/2009 at 5:24pm by doubleboots152
Today, my boyfriend of over a year didn't tell me he loves me. He never has. F MY Life, not yours, you silly selfish girl.
F His Life for having a girlfriend who can't recognize just how momentous and special a moment it was for him.
Maybe he's like me, I have all these feelings but when I try to express them idk what the he'll I'm talking about, or it's his first time!(don't be so sensative)
#96 - On 06/02/2009 at 5:46pm by
Agree with #1. Love is weird. It's not like a continental shelf: there's no dropoff line. It's a fine gradient, so sometimes its tough to tell if you're "in love."
#99 - On 06/02/2009 at 5:55pm by AmpulexCompressa
Not an FML. "Love" is an ambiguous thing at best. Give the guy a break!
This means that he doesn't know how to express things in words. What does he DO? How does he ACT around you? I'm betting you already know he loves you when you think about it.
Besides, being "in love" is too often confused with a feeling of desire. Really loving someone is born out when he has to give up something for you or when he thinks of you when he has no reason to or when he changes a long-standing habit for you (or perhaps because of you).
I knew I loved my wife when I gave up smoking, cold turkey, the day she said, "I always know when you've been smoking. You're jacket smells a little smokey when you get back." She wasn't even complaining. She was just making an observation. (She told me this herself later on.) But when she said it, I quit. Right then.
What people SAY doesn't mean anything. What they DO means much, much more.
You can say you love someone for years but never understand what it means until the night they get in an accident. Just because he understands that love is more than just a word doesn't mean your life is f'd.
That's sweet tho...love is a word that is often thrown around and it's good he waited till he actually thought he is in love
#107 - On 06/02/2009 at 6:24pm by lovetololalldayl
soo not an FML. this is good. he was probably hit tryingto be funny to
#110 - On 06/02/2009 at 6:38pm by mylife6969
HOW is this a FML? I'd say FYL because you can't even accept being loved. Geez.
#111 - On 06/02/2009 at 6:46pm by JonReb
how is this an FML???? this is cute! he's experiencing a first love.. you're lucky to experience it with him. STFU
#112 - On 06/02/2009 at 6:50pm by planetearth
at # 24: MUGS! (Just in case ;))
on topic: I agree with #1 and everybody so eloquently agreeing with #1. This way you'll never forget the circumstances and have a story to share at a possible wedding recital in another few years. ;)
He may not move with warp speed but then again he might stay for the rest of your life so what's a year or two or 5? Enjoy while it lasts and show him some appreciation for daring to love you.
If you change your pov Y('ll eventually)DI. Otherwise you just fucked your life yourself and deserve that.
#114 - On 06/02/2009 at 7:08pm by tmausiluvsfml
i wish guys i knew were that honest. balance between emotionless and over-the-top-creep-you-out loveyness. honest with enough trust in you to feel comfortable being that open.
#117 - On 06/02/2009 at 7:42pm by Newtons_Cradle
A perfectly reasonable statement! It shows he's being honest about exCtly what he feels, and if he thinks it's love, all the better. Would you prefer to hear "I love you" but have him not mean it?
#118 - On 06/02/2009 at 7:45pm by nickorooster
You didn't say anything after he said that he loves you. He felt awkward so he added more onto it to make himself more comfortable. This is your fault entirely. YDI
#119 - On 06/02/2009 at 7:48pm by dotVillain
It's a sweet gesture anyway. Get over yourself. He may not e. e. cummings when it comes to words, but at least he said it.
#123 - On 06/02/2009 at 8:00pm by theillusionary
How was this an FML from any perspective? Is it really because it just took a year for him to say that
For complaining about it, it's not YDI either. :/
He's sensitive. I don't see what's wrong with that. You need a mirror check not everything has to be scripted and quick and romantic.
#128 - On 06/02/2009 at 8:37pm by judgmentalbear
he sounds adorable! that doesn't sound bad, it sounds so cute!
#135 - On 06/02/2009 at 9:14pm by plumtriangle
This isn't an FML.
There is no way to gauge emotion or any exact definition of love. In fact, you should be more worried if he felt SURE. THEN you know he's really confused.
#120.. im not gonna sit here and tell you whether it is or isn't a good thing that you and your boyfriend of two days are saying i love you. But you can't really compare, people take different time to say something like that. Those words aren't something to throw around.
OP: I agree with what a majority of the people said. It was sweet.
Well this is not and FML.
He thinks he is in love with you. If this is the first time he's been in love, then how would he know for sure what it feels like.
If you love him back, be happy :]
that's gooodd! it might have sounded mean but it just means he takes the phrase "i love you" seriously, so he wants to make sure he really means it when he says it. its a compliment to you
Sounds like he's just being honest. Just be wary if he starts talking about terminating John Conner...
#141 - On 06/02/2009 at 10:01pm by aroomacanvas
Good God woman, what is wrong with you? Do expect some cinema romantic-comedy proposal? He 'finally' told you that he loved you? As if it were required? "Ohmygoshohmygosh he said he luvs me!!!!!!!" Grow up.
Realistically, love can be a very tricky thing at the best of times, and barely more than a fancy high-minded ideal. So respect his emotions, respect his judgment, and respect the term 'love'. Now that you mention it, your life IS fucked. You're stuck in the mind of a 13-year-old early-pubescent habitually-spoilt self-centred airhead with a grossly inflated sense of entitlement. I am disgusted. At least, I think this is how people feel when they say that.
#143 - On 06/02/2009 at 10:11pm by freudianego
man ppl these days a so goddamn picky... at least he was HONEST
#22 you're an idiot
#145 - On 06/02/2009 at 10:19pm by 19avengers
What you take away from this kinda depends on your boyfriend's character. If he's generally pretty reserved and shy, then don't take it to be a bad thing - that sort of thing can be a really big deal to some people, and they aren't going to treat the subject lightly. If this is the case, and he really hasn't ever been in love before, you can't really blame him for being tentative about it.
On the other hand, it could be that he's one of those selfish jerks who tends to manipulate women for his own personal gains. If he's pretty outgoing and gregarious, and especially if he has a history of being something of a womanizer, this is probably the more likely scenario.
Obviously I don't know your boyfriend, so I can't say which one is true. I'm inclined to believe it's most likely the former scenario...hopefully I'm right :)
#146 - On 06/02/2009 at 10:23pm by l33tm0nk3y
you are the worst girlfriend in the entire world, your boyfriend deserves much better than you
#147 - On 06/02/2009 at 10:30pm by thenoclist
#1 is right!
Get over it, you're lucky to have someone who means it
#148 - On 06/02/2009 at 10:30pm by containsnosoy
Uh...im pretty sure #27 was just playing out different scenarios guys.....
And awh that sucks the way he worded it, but he was probably just nervous :)
#149 - On 06/02/2009 at 10:34pm by HAHA_13
That's nothing, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time via text message. FML.
#152 - On 06/02/2009 at 11:20pm by roadblock7
Your boyfriend for a year? Or you meant you liked him for a year or known him for a year?
Cos if he's your boyfriend for a year, I'll be surprise you two were together for 365 days and he never once said I love you till that day.
#153 - On 06/02/2009 at 11:24pm by kissesinbetween
Well how far were you 2 going? Cuz if you were going out for a YEAR wouldn't he have said it like a long time ago by now?
#154 - On 06/02/2009 at 11:25pm by singathousandwor
Agree with #1, the poor guys confused, give him a break.
#155 - On 06/02/2009 at 11:34pm by allseeingeye
#1
also, some guys are embarrassed about admitting how they feel; for them, it's easier if they cushion themselves with a little self-effacement, because they're subconsciously afraid someone's going to attack them for showing the emotion. it doesn't mean he loves you any less.
#156 - On 06/02/2009 at 11:41pm by oligopsony
aww i think that whole sentence together sounds sweet in an innocent way :] don't be so sensitive, trust me, my mom is and so she thinks everyone is against her
and #119 that's terrible. if you want a serious relationship you two should take the term "love" seriously, you can't be in love that quickly. unless you two don't believe in love, then it's all good
You are a bitch for bitching about this. You should be glad he feels however he feels and let him figure it out on his own time. If you keep being a bitch he'll leave your ass and you'll deserve it.
#163 - On 06/03/2009 at 12:49am by omnisciencex
Also to Maggy above. who the fuck are you to say you can't fall in love in a year? Maybe You can't but YOU should try not to speak for the rest of humanity.
#164 - On 06/03/2009 at 12:54am by omnisciencex
OP is a bitch.
And feelings aren't black and white or stuck to some stupid arbitrary rules. Anyone who thinks there's a certain timespan or criteria to meet before saying this, are also bitches. Have fun being insufferable, lonely cunts for the rest of your lives.
#166 - On 06/03/2009 at 1:02am by arcturusvi
it took him this long to tell you he "thinks" he loves you. fuck him...dump his ass and move on to someone who knows how to commit.
thats not really an FML
he thinks he's in love with you!
ooh; poor you..
ydi for having such a non-fml.
#169 - On 06/03/2009 at 1:29am by SusanaSaysRawrxD
So he didn't know, and that freaked you out? Maybe you were his first love!
#173 - On 06/03/2009 at 3:00am by nonconscious
biggest FML here is you thinking he meant that in a bad way!
#175 - On 06/03/2009 at 3:15am by didi666
I was saying FYL and about to say I get how you feel, since I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years and, though he said he loves me as a friend and cares a lot about me as anything, he said he's not yet sure he truly loves me *that* way. Which I found kind of upsetting since he used to tell his shorter-term ex girlfriends he loved them while they were in a relationship. But now reading the comments I see those saying how your bf is trying to be honest and make sure he really feels it 100% when he says it, have great points. Also, the way HE said it does sound like you're his first love. So maybe whether your life is fucked is a matter of how you see this.
It takes time to truly love someone in a romantic way. The fact that he followed it up with "at least, this how I think people feel when they say that" shows that he does love you and wanted to wait until he honestly did feel in love with you rather than just saying it like so many others do. You're lucky to have a man who waited rather than a man who says "I love you" just because it seems like the right thing.
#178 - On 06/03/2009 at 8:12am by checkshirt
How the fuck is this a FML, you fucking tube? He said he LOVES you! All the other girls on this thing bitch about how their boyfriend DOESN'T love them. Freaking hell.
#180 - On 06/03/2009 at 8:19am by ChelseaChops
To be fair he probably hadn't said it to anyone before... It isn't an insult, it is just a new feeling. This isn't a fuck my life at all. You should be happy that he told you, and that you made him feel completely new feelings. Don't be dumb, and get all paranoid, or you're going to ruin a good thing. Take it from a guy who knows.
"Today, I told my girlfriend of over a year and first love my feelings. I was still unsure of whether it was love I felt or just lust. She then proceeded to post on FML about it. FML"
#184 - On 06/03/2009 at 10:34am by ZokWobblefotz
All the people saying "YDI"...She really doesn't deserve it. Anyone who takes a confession of being a first love as a cause for FMLing, really doesn't deserve the lvoe, do they?
#185 - On 06/03/2009 at 11:03am by Parasomnia
Why would that bother you? I agree with everyone else.
@185 some people think YDI is the opposite of YLIF, even though that's not the case.
Eh. Don't blame him. He's probably never felt love before.
#188 - On 06/03/2009 at 1:56pm by Essentials
Yeah, i'm not convinced that this is a bad thing at all. I hope you didn't flip out on him or something.
@186 "Today, I found a box full of blood slides from criminals who have gone missing in our air conditioning unit. FML." :P
#190 - On 06/03/2009 at 3:43pm by Parasomnia
Eventhough this may not be an fml, my boyfriend said the exact same thing ( pretty much) 8 years ago, and I explained to him that love is different for everyone and that the feeling of love varies depending on who you are "loving". We have been married for almost 7 years and still going strong. I wouldn't take it too hard or seriously.
I am very heartened by the unanimous shouting down that the OP received here. Seriously, I'm sick of how our culture expects girls to treat their boyfriends like shit and then sympathizes with them when we can't take it any more. Guys know not to complain about something like this by the time they're five because they'll get NO SYMPATHY.
#193 - On 06/03/2009 at 8:08pm by dan131m
that means that this is the first time he's been in love, you should appreciate that you're the first one he's felt this way about
that is sooooooooo friggen cute! okay clearly its like the first time hes been in love & hes saying i love you ive never felt like this before so i think im in love & your the little bitch you goes & writes about in on fmylife.com yeah
Be happy you're his first love! That's adorable! Just, treat him good, or we'll have yet another damaged male in the world. (The first relationship seems to set them all for men...)
#196 - On 06/04/2009 at 1:32am by nicolew111
Maybe this is not a FML, but the comment he said after "I love you" makes it understandable for her to take it the wrong way. & for everyone saying stop being over sensitive...girls are usually super sensitive! It's almost as if his comment negates the "I love you" I guess it depends on your perspective lol
thats a good thing. the fact that he was nervous about saying it means that he actually means what hes saying
#198 - On 06/04/2009 at 3:12pm by coocoocachizzle
I am 100% sure you are a teen.
Fuck you both, for being so naive.
---Cassy
#201 - On 06/05/2009 at 1:45am by xocassylovesyou
this isnt an fml...this is a guy thinking hes in love...and if he feels about you the same way i feel about my girlfriend then he is definitely in love with you
How have so many ppl agreed to this..? Ydi end of story at least he was being honest and nice about it..and prob. Deserves better
#204 - On 06/07/2009 at 12:21am by HAHAHSUCKS4YOU
Why do people keep clicking FYL for this? Most of the comments here are YDI anyways so wtf?
Be happy. If it takes him that long to say I love you, he probably means it. It's not just some fake "I love not being single!" bullshit. Get over yourself.
#206 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:51pm by jetstream417
Number 22, Jesus has nothing to do with this so stop bible thumping over FML
#208 - On 06/21/2009 at 10:17pm by xavierdevoy
My boyfriend still has not told me he loves me. We have been going out for four years and when I tell him I love him, he just gives me a big hug.
#212 - On 01/28/2010 at 8:47pm by Iwantgummies
