By Anonymous - 22/09/2015 21:54 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 386
You deserved it 1 894

Same thing different taste

Top comments

embracingsilence 15

That's a pretty understandable reaction if you consider how important it is for young teenage girls to feel accepted, wanted, and desirable. So much of our society stresses that girls have no value outside of being desirable partners so a lot of girls are taught that that's what their self worth is based on. It doesn't justify her being mad at you but it does somewhat explain it. It seems like she's reacting out of hurt and lashing out at a person who will accept and love her without any ulterior motive. It often feels "safer" to take out those feelings of hurt on someone you know for sure loves you. Give her room, and then be there to support her when she's cooled off. This is one hell of a bad experience for her. What an awful and inappropriate thing for her boyfriend to say, let alone do.

Comments

Try putting sense in your daughter and never let that boy near you or family again.

Or better, stay out of her way while she is grieving but let her know you are there for her when she wants to talk. She'll come around when she reaches the anger stage.

Symantha23 25

Your daughter deserves way better than him!

I think it's probably hard to talk to her knowing that she is the object of desire of the boy whose just ****** with her feelings and made a fool of her. it's a painful thing to go through even when it ain't your mum.

they are 14! her daughter will get over it... she's just being a drama queen

Well not necessarily... shes not looking to date him. He wants to date her. its different.... more of a MIlF situation.

#18 we do not know that for sure. Afterall, OP could be a teacher you know.

That's a pretty understandable reaction if you consider how important it is for young teenage girls to feel accepted, wanted, and desirable. So much of our society stresses that girls have no value outside of being desirable partners so a lot of girls are taught that that's what their self worth is based on. It doesn't justify her being mad at you but it does somewhat explain it. It seems like she's reacting out of hurt and lashing out at a person who will accept and love her without any ulterior motive. It often feels "safer" to take out those feelings of hurt on someone you know for sure loves you. Give her room, and then be there to support her when she's cooled off. This is one hell of a bad experience for her. What an awful and inappropriate thing for her boyfriend to say, let alone do.

well said #5 your daughter will be all right OP, and daaaamn, you will have sth special to laugh about in few years!

OPS daughter is just been a little drama queen... she needs to get over it already... she's still young and needs to focus on her studies instead

Unless your name is Demi, I don't see a problem.

embracingsilence 15

Too bad Stacy doesn't seem to got it goin on...

According to a particular song, Stacy's mom has got it going on..

can we really blame the kid? she's all he wanted and he waited for so long...

Didn't Stacy see that's she wasn't the girl for him?

Rosebudx 32

He knows it might be wrong, but he's in love with you.

Did you ever come out with just a towel on? And could he tell that you liked him from the way you stared?

nitrog100 21

Well, that, and the way she said, "you missed a spot over there".

Damn it, I didn't even bother to look at the comments.

I think it's time to have a mother to daughter talk about her taste in men before she gets used and hurt more severely.

yep because her boyfriend being an asshole is totally her own fault...

she chose to date him... so her bad choices already reflecting...

True, 52. The daughter should have used her mind reading powers to find out what the boy's true motives were.

She could teach her daughter how to seek out better partners, and also to teach her daughter to not jump into relationships before knowing someone ahead of time.

As someone who did not have good taste in men as a teenager and who had a mom who always told me when I was being mistreated and I should rethink my relationships, a lot of the time it won't sink in. I think it's something that people kind of need to learn on their own. For me, I was always very hurt whenever my mom would say my boyfriend at the time was a jerk and I could do better. Because I liked the guy and I wanted my mom to like them too. And I wanted to prove her wrong which only lead to me staying with them longer. You just have to be really careful about the subject and it depends on the kid's personality as well and what they will respond to.

She should be able to tell. It really isn't that hard. (usually)

The boy being an asshole is not her fault, but to blame her mother? To be cold to someone who loves her over a 14yo wannabe m-f-? Someone needs to have a long talk with that girl. Her values are a bit twisted and maybe her self esteem could use some work.

The boy is crazy: crazy to do so and crazy to confess and crazy to confess in front of the girl he used for his games. Try to make your daughter see it this way, there is nothing to be angry at you for, thats the boy's fault, not yours. You probably didn't even have any idea what his plan was, seriously, how could you guess anything so crazy?

zeffra13 31

I bet it's less that the daughter is angry and more that she's the most embarrassed she's been since the last time she wet the bed. She probably feels stupid in a 'how could I not tell' kind of way and is avoiding what she perceives as an immanent lecture on being responsible or something.

amileah13 26

She's a 14 year old girl who has a boyfriend. And she's mad because her boyfriend who I would hope is underage wants to date her mother. *me trying to process this*. This whole thing is just messed up and wrong! Yikes

askullnamedbilly 33

Uhhh... you really have a problem processing that a 14-year-old has (or rather: had) a boyfriend? Do people only start dating well into their twenties where you come from or what?

Its not said how old the daughter is, we only know that the boy is 14. The daughter may be anything, even 60 (Hope not).

hektek 11

I totally agree with you, as a father there's no way my 14 yr old daughter is having a boyfriend much less to bring him home, no wonder shit is so ****** up these days, our young women have to be taught to value themselves and be confident rather than always looking for approval from others

Wtf,it clearly says 'my 14 year old daughter'

Unless your daughter is homeschooled, you cannot stop her from dating. Having a boyfriend doesn't mean a teenager doesn't value herself or isn't confident. On the contrary, if she's dating, she probably does feel confident. Relationships make people happy.

#30, girls are TAUGHT from every angle that their self-worth is measured by their looks and approval from others. Teaching your daughters - hell, all your children - otherwise is a very good thing, but NOTHING you can do will stop them from dating and experimenting if they want to. Teach them to be safe and let them get on with it. If you just try to control and stop them that much, they won't come to you if something goes wrong and, if the issue is severe, they may do something dangerous to avoid you finding out.