Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML
Ashamed_Sister tells us more.
He just asked me if he can have something to eat. When I finished the sandwich I realized the irony.
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a "friend" mentioned that my husband was "yummy", then asked if she could "have a turn" with him. I left and went home, outraged. When I told my husband, he couldn't conceal his stupid horny grin, and immediately tried to initiate sex. Pig. FML
Today, I found out that the girl I like is fucking my friend. The friend who she always said was "a disgusting sexist pig" and swore she hated. The worst part is, she's right, he's a complete dick to women. I don't know how or why he got in her pants. FML
Today, after I got fed up and told my bullying step-brother exactly what I thought of him, he became overly polite. He then admitted that me shouting at him was the most turned on he's ever been in his life. Now he loves me and wants to be my "submissive" boyfriend. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my friends. My friend started talking about how unfair it is that women can use their breasts to get promotions. I told him that he has no place to talk, as he used his "d*ck" a few months ago with his female boss. His girlfriend of 3 years was sitting next to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because, "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML
Today, after assuring my best friend that his girlfriend would never cheat on him, I came home to my brother having loud sex with my best friend's girlfriend. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
Today, my wife's friend's husband broke the unwritten "man rule" of not being TOO good of a husband. He turned over a new leaf and started really busting his ass, so his wife bragged on him to my wife, and now she's sulking and refusing sex. FML
Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML
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Top comments
boxbrandon11 20
Can i get a sandwich too?
NeatNit 33
OP, I'm sorry, you clearly have no self-respect if you went from confronting him about sexism to feeding his sexism so quickly. YDI, so ******* much.
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Comments (111)
boxbrandon11 20
Can i get a sandwich too?
OscarDV 8
and while you're at it stay in the kitchen. lets have sex now.
Eahae3 12
You also get sex! Sex, sex, sex for everyone !
mercifulbane 3
thats why its best to have sex in the kitchen, its a womans place for pleasure and business
Welshite 40
Was it voluntary or did he order you to the kitchen? That's the difference between YDI or FYL, I think.
Awahso 25
Well I would imagine it was voluntary. If it wasn't there are bigger issues than just sexism.
Ashamed_Sister 60
He just asked me if he can have something to eat. When I finished the sandwich I realized the irony.
jlmontgomery 11
And just where did sleeping with him become an option in your argument??
NeatNit 33
OP, I'm sorry, you clearly have no self-respect if you went from confronting him about sexism to feeding his sexism so quickly. YDI, so ******* much.
Wakachulak 22
OP, I have a comment for you that just about sums up your situation: PWNED!
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Guys, you can't assume OP doesn't have any self respect for sleeping with a guy who damn near portrays 50% of the human male species. Otherwise, about half of the female counterparts don't have any self control either. I will be the first to admit that getting into a heated argument kinda well, gets me a bit heated. Not because of something as vain as being proud I was able to "win" and put someone else down, and it's not because I proved someone wrong, which does feel pretty ******* satisfying. It's because when you are arguing about something you argue about something rather important, passion plays a key role. You both would be passionate, not for the same reason, but nonetheless, it does and will create a little moment between you two. That being said, sure, she could have handled that a completely different way but who are you to tell her she has no self respect. She had the self respect to instigate the fight to begin with. That shows she cares not only about herself, but her gender as well. Self righteous people who feel as if they do no wrong piss me off more a **** ton more than someone who actually sees and understands the shame and humility brought on my their choice of actions. OP, you're no worse than anyone else on this site, you just happened to fit into the "submissive woman" role as soon as you made him a sandwich, which hey, the world needs a ton more sandwiches anyway. Be glad you decided to stand up for yourself which is a lot more than most people would even attempt.
elcee1987 18
Had sex. Win.
pnutbutternjelly 15
I think it's a YDI anyway since she slept with him when she thinks he's a disgusting pig. And I can't say she has no self respect, but sleeping with someone who you have no respect for doesn't exactly scream I have self respect.
Trivision 10
#58 - My god, another one.
Wakachulak 22
Why was that downvoted? If ever there was a situation that warranted a pwned, this is it.
Ashamed_Sister 60
@Didi: Thank you for the support. Yes, the comments are quite harsh but I'm a big girl and I can handle it. Besides, I think I deserved it. Doesn't matter, I had an FML published, which made my day.
dudeofawe 15
Either way it's YDI. Even if he "ordered" her, she shouldn't have done shit!!
that_band_nerd 22
Way to stand strong! Maybe next time he'll make a sandwich for you.
caohm 18
babies trying not to eat candy have more will power than you. absolutely pathetic.
8313girl 28
He put the whammy on you girl!
gotaplanstan 28
in*
psitsruben 10
Lesson learned.
Ashamed_Sister 60
Let me say it in this way: I’m less confrontational but satisfied :) And I know that I deserved it.
thatisfuckedup 6
I'm still not sure how he managed to swing you to his liking so quickly, and so completely.
desidog 12
The more stupid they are, the hotter they are in bed
boxbrandon11 20
You must be great in bed!
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I'm just curious as to what prompted that insult against #7. I know it's not the fact that they said "more stupid" because that is grammatically acceptable. It's more so acceptable than anyone trying to use "stupider" which has just battered its way into the language but used to be completely unacceptable.
Rainhawk94 27
Someone missed the point
Girlie7 11
Looks like he confronted you...
Maycontainnuts 17
Having sex - fine. Making him an after sex sandwich? Next time demand one from him. And of he doesn't get it for you tell him he'll get nothing till he does ;)
thenewgirl29 20
He already got what he wanted... It would seem.
runnerj116 11
Well maybe that's why he won't take it to heart.
xSkittle 16
Well, you're easy.. And I want a sandwich now
mallu86 9
You've gotta wait man. She's making me one right now.