Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML
Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend due to our long distance relationship. She then agreed to date my best friend who lives in the same town as me. FML
Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML
Today, after dating this girl for 3 months, I finally introduced her to my friends. She looked panicked during the date, and after it she broke up with me. When I asked why, she told me she could try to deal with a black friend, but not with a gay one. I've been dating a moron all this time. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she doesn't want a physical relationship, but an emotional one instead. I said that I was fine with that, as long as we talked things through in the future. She dumped me there and then, because "no straight guy would agree to that." FML
Today, my girlfriend who I love very deeply dumped me two times, over the phone. The first time was to dump me. She then called me back a couple hours later explicitly to dump our friendship. I was just friend dumped. FML
Today, a "friend" of mine told everyone that I had a crush on a girl I used to be really good friends with 2 years ago. I never liked her that way, and had said that only to hide the fact that I'm gay and don't feel safe with boys. Her current boyfriend is seriously annoyed with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
Today, the woman I thought I had friend-zoned dumped me because she has "met someone new." I really like her as a friend but felt zero attraction, so after one date I went out of my way not to give off the wrong signals when talking or meeting. It turns out she thought I was on my way out of the "relationship" anyway. FML
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Top comments
SelenaMilkshake 17
Well she sounds lovely.
EpicSquishii 21
Perfect opportunity to embarrass the hell out of her. Or you can just troll her and post a picture of you kissing your boyfriend with the caption "You turned me gay."
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Comments (102)
sadistmonkey 19
Belated April Fools prank?
HKCgrimmjow 15
Huh, yeah I would guess. Or she might just be a little nutty.
danial1214 21
This is why communication is key in any relationship.
Bloodjoker 11
Maybe he shouldn't have led her on. He's clearly not very open about his sexual preferences. Maybe she thought he was your "very friendly" roommate
SelenaMilkshake 17
Well she sounds lovely.
erichsalvesen 13
That was implied. You do not add to the joke by stating the obviously implied meaning behind the joke.
ElementaryEdGuy 18
Oblivious is more like it.
RAGE5119 9
Sounds like she wants attention!
wldd0g 9
Ssssshhhhh...... Don't say that out loud. She may dump you too, and then you will have to deal with the same screaming lady all over your facebook page. It may be best to just play dead for a while, and hope the "dump" is not literal.
jatinbhanot 6
Its a she.. don't worry.. you're probably ok.. :)
Trisha_aus 15
uhm..what?
isallwaysme 27
I think what 4 was getting at, is that OP is gay, and there is probably no worries to his relationship because it was a girl that "dumped" him. Hope that clears it up instead of confusing you guys even more
cja33 8
Hahah girls.... absolutely, positively crazy! (but im not gay) haha just pointing that out...
iLike2Teabag 27
What? And get your hand out of your pants...
Ryan8878 21
'Straight eye for the queer guy.'
9lashes 15
She has some delusional issues
Soloman212 28
And that's when said friend broke out in tears because they thought you telling them about that book was your way of dumping them.
crazy_bananas 31
What's the name of the book?
poodle_juice 17
Run. Run far away.
TxCountryBeauty 10
And never return. -oh were we not quoting lion king?
Trisha_aus 15
Run Foresttt...
Suaria 38
Haha omg I was thinking the same exact thing after reading that comment!
karlcolt45 19
there is no hiding from the internet
oceanbeauty 17
KCCO!
poodle_juice 17
KCCO!
Shenanigans9 8
KCCO!
DKjazz 20
KCCO!
jokesta187 11
Tweet tweet I'm a birdy too!
Bloodjoker 11
I'm sorry if I sound dumb but what is kcco?
kerrwoof 13
There's this magical site called the chive. I suggest you look into it. Keep calm and chive on!
Jsccasper05 6
Chivette?!?!?
clueless05 12
Well at least your "relationship" is over now...
AwkwardPartyBear 24
She should have known after all of this time that you are strictly dickly. Hopefully she get things straight in her head.
KainMoogle 21
Or not, considering OP's orientation
mr_sarcastic416 29
"straight in her head" hehehe
CinnamonBunny 16
I think the fact that things were "straight in her head" is what caused this problem in the first place.