Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML
Today, the day of my 29th birthday and two weeks after our 10th wedding anniversary, the only thing my husband got me for my birthday was divorce papers. Happy birthday, bitch. FML
Today, my wife asked for a divorce. Apparently, me being forced to work on her birthday and our anniversary 3 years in a row is the absolute limit she’s willing to put up with. FML
Today, my wife and I were born on the same day, married on our birthday date. Today is our birthday and anniversary, and today we are getting divorced. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card that read, "You made it to 36!" It's my 35th birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML
Today, I got a gift from my wife in the form of divorce papers. She waited till after New Year's so it wouldn't show up on her taxes for 2011. FML
Today, my wife said she wants a divorce. Three days ago, I added her onto the title to my house, my bank accounts, and my business. FML
Today, my husband served me divorce papers and an order to grant him temporary custody of our kids. Tomorrow is my birthday. FML
Today, I woke up realizing my wife of less than a year of marriage wants a divorce. We have known each other for 15 years. FML
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Top comments
Jimboom 11
Tell her to keep the subscription as her wrinkled/dried up ass will have a tougher time finding someone who actually wants to hit that.... without a baseball bat that it.
z4opv14 0
Wow that sucks man, my condolences to you.
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Comments (88)
z4opv14 0
Wow that sucks man, my condolences to you.
Jimboom 11
Tell her to keep the subscription as her wrinkled/dried up ass will have a tougher time finding someone who actually wants to hit that.... without a baseball bat that it.
soccer060 0
it's a present he might as well keep it
Kamon97 23
What a **** I hope by now you found someone much better who truly loves you. Sorry you wasted your time with that bitch.
Dracothius 1
Keep it and find the love of your life and send her a picture of you happy and in love and thank her for the best birthday present ever.
Dracothius 1
Keep it and find the love of your life and send her a picture of you happy and in love and thank her for the best birthday present ever.
FareweLLibra 0
What a bitch. You deserve someone better.
jm88 0
I'm going to have to go with #2. You're still able to pull yourself together (if needed!), work out, feel tigther, all that stuff. It's all down hill for her saggy ass.
pwnman 33
Where are you two going?
amelinat 0
Oh hey man, happy birthday! And many more to come I hope. Without your nasty wife.
drunkenbones 0
You could tell her that she gave you too much! Give her back the subscription and tell her that the divorce is enough! Getting your life back and getting rid of the trash is the best present ever! BTW what a bitch!!!
badwarhol 0
Could have been worse. Think of yourself as lucky, you deserve much better.
arucardinium 0
She could have at least gotten you an eHarmony account instead.
StayClassy 0
That's ******* brutal. My condolences.
DJT1981 0
Wow that sucks. She's evil!