Comments
Maybe you should have watched to see what your daughter was eating?
Shouldn't you have everything like that locked away so she can't get at it?
That's exactly what I wondered. Why is there even chocolate in the house? If you want to eat it that's fine, but don't you think you should put it somewhere a 5 year old cannot access?
#1 and #2 clearly have no children. Parents can do their best and their children will still find ways around obstacles when they're determined to do so.
The good news is that natural consequences of her actions will help this little girl think twice before dis-obeying the rule about eating an item with dairy in it in the future.
#5, obviously you are a bad parent. If you know your children can find obstacles you need to put it somewhere else moron. Somewhere with... I don't know... A lock????
The best parents are those who don't yet have children. You'll see....it's not as easy as just locking something away and keeping an eagle eye on them. Kids are smart and find ways to get what they want.
Whatever. I'm agreeing with #1 and #2. Kids are smart, but I think Parents are (or at least should be) smarter. Smart enough to at least keep something away from their child. Especially something that will make them sick like that...
Who's to say the OP didn't take precautions to keep the chocolate away from her daughter? Come back after your kids are teens and you won't be nearly so critical of this parent.
You idiots expect them to lock their kids away from all outside influences? 5 year old's do go to school, and they have friends that they occasionally associate with outside of their parents supervision. It's impossible for the parent to supervise every second of every day of the child's life. It's damned easy for a kid to find chocolate.
Think back to when you were a kid, if your parents banned you from doing something, then you damn well found a way to do it. If you didn't then you sucked as a kid.
I doubt the OP's daughter was anywhere other than home at 3AM. This means she ate the chocolate shortly before this... She would be nowhere other than home.
Kids clothes have pockets don't they? "Here's a piece of chocolate, but you can't eat it at school." Kids puts it in her pocket. Goes home, forgets about it, goes to bed. Wakes up at 1 to use the bathroom. Remembers chocolate in her pocket. Eats it. A few hours later she's puking all over the bathroom.
And to those of you talking about locks. Either you have a key lock (in which case you child could find the keys when you're asleep) or a combination lock (if you are good at remembering sequences, but more than likely it's written down somewhere, which means your kid could find it) Or something like a hook-and-eye way up high (in which case, you child could find things to climb on)
First of all, your post makes me think you think all chocolate has milk in it. It doesn't. Only milk chocolate does; dark and unsweetened chocolate do not.
Secondly, YDI for not properly watching your daughter or putting stuff out of her reach that is bad for her, or keeping her in a school that won't properly watch her.
Third, but the kid some unsweetened chocolate for goodness sakes.
Im lactose intolerant, and i dont think people realise how hard life is with that allergy...
I cant eat chocolate, cake, other delicous desserts like ice cream, snack bars and mashed potato, milk (for cereal), rice pudding, and a TON of other stuff that you wouldnt even realise has lactose in..
We need some kind of charity for us people PLEASE
FYL and FML
Thankyou
The_Pleb, lactose intolerance is not an allergy.
OP, sorry about what happened. Hopefully, your daughter learned that she can't eat certain things just because she wants them.
Agreed.
Speaking as someone who's actually allergic to milk (as in my body has problems with the protein in milk, rather than simply not being able to digest the milk sugars), lactose intolerance is an annoyance at worst. If you're smart, avoid milk, and buy some of the better substitutes out there, it's not a huge problem. There's actually some really great soy ice creams, and at this point, I've found I like soy milk far better than the original.
You can hide the chocolate up high, or just hidden away so your child can't find it.
My brother has a nut allergy, actually, and we keep everything that may contain nuts in a box up high so he can't access it; plus he knows he isn;t supposed to eat it and he is 3.
So, yes, it's easy to hide things away.
I bet the OP and all the other people manage to keep christmas presents hidden away; same principle really.
Thank you #40! People keep coming up with reasons children could access chocolate. YES! We realize it can happen. We are just saying that it may not be easy to keep chocolate away from a 5 year old, but it can be done if it's really that important to a parent. A five year old can be smart... but not THAT smart. Geesh.
The people saying YDI clearly don't have kids and I really can't wait until you do. Lactose intolerence doesn't always make you sick straight away. She could have had it earlier in the day, or like people have said, gotten it earlier in the day and kept it in her pocket. She could have gotten it at school from a student teacher who wouldn't know even if the OP had informed the school, or another kid, or a friends house, or a shop keeper when she was out with a friend or school visit, or a neighbour.
FYL OP, and take comfort in knowing the people saying YDI are in for a big surprise when they have kids and are going to feel like real jerks for judging you. =)
You're all idiots. I mean i know his daughter couldn't possibly have friends from school who can eat and SHARE chocolate, huh?
#49 - On 11/18/2009 at 1:48pm by nazooer
Glad to know there are bad parents in the world that support each other.
Glad to know you're probably childless wilshires and aren't going to pass on your bitchy, judgmental nature to any poor young children. =)
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
Hey retard im not being an attention whore
And how would you feel if you walked into thorntons with your mates and then after looking at all the differant mouth watering chocolates you came to realisation that you cant have any and that you should stick to "soya chocolate" that tastes like your girlfriends ass.
So FYL for not having emotions to less fortunate people like myself.
O and should i say im allergic to dairy
Now go to bed
Win + 10
I'm actually glad because I know I care about my daughter enough to keep food OUT of my house that would make her spew vomit. -And if I were to keep it in my house I would put it somewhere a 5 year old couldn't get to.
Don't assume things, jerk.
#40, you are lucky that 'high up' works in your house. Most children if they want something high up will learn to climb. Do you know how frighting it is to wake up in the middle of the night, to see your 4 year old sister on top of some boxes, which are on a plastic kids chair, which are on an empty laundry basket that was tipped up? It was the scariest thing I'd ever seen, and it didn't help that it was at the top of the stairs. She slept in my room that night, simply because I was afraid she'd do it again if I didn't hold her. The next day I took the kids chairs away. They stayed locked in the basement (which she was afraid of) at night.
the pleb, shut the fuck up you attention-grasping whore. nobody really cares that you cant have choclate with your friends. boo hoo somebody call a wahmbulance. i have acid reflux and i have food restrictions too along with a kajillion other people with similar issues. "We need some kind of charity for us people PLEASE" fucking get over yourself and live with it .
Damn fuckyear if that was an exam id of gave you an A* but unfortunately its a cheap site called fml, so maybe you want to keep your hardworking witty comments to yourself.
There SHOULD be a charity for lactose intolerence so we can afford to buy soya chocolate because soya chocolate costs a lot more then normal chocolate.
Besides that there isnt a good variety of soya chocolate like normal chocolate.. in fact i have seen NO soya chocolate that contains something else nice like capuccino flavour or somethin.
But pleasee if you can tell me where to find some nice soya chocolates youd make my life complete because i only buy plain soya chocolate from sainsburys and like i mentioned it tastes like your girlfriends ass.
Ok so go to bed after youve told me a shop in ENGLAND that sells nice soya chocolate.
Thankyou goodbye
WIN+ 20
I like how you say that while eating Guylian Belgian Chocolate filled with fucking champagne.
Bitch!!!!!!!!
She isn't lactose intolerant if she threw up from a piece of chocolate
I am severely lactose intolerant, and I eat chocolate all the time with little effect
Plus, lactose intolerant people don't vomit, they have diarrhea...if she is vomiting, she is allergic to something in the chocolate other than milk....
FAKE
Hey 69, there's a company called Plamil who make a half decent soya alternative to milk chocolate, it's a tad more Galaxy than Dairy Milk, but you should be able to find it in most Holland & Barrett's.
@ 66
Why didn't you just put what she was trying to get in the basement?
We did, after we caught her climbing, but before that we assumed that high up was safe from a four year old. I was pointing out that very few places are safe from a child who wants something.
Get over it. Sometimes I wish I could drink chocolate milk, but since I'm another lactose intolerant person, I can't. Doesn't mean I have a hissy fit for having to drink soymilk.
Chocolate isn't that great anyways. If you want chocolate THAT badly, you should probably be glad you can't eat it. It's probably keeping you from becoming a diabetic.
@ ThePleb
Pull your head out of your ass and learn to eat dark chocolate, which is by definition milk-free.
And, perhaps, you may learn to read more comments and actually see this fact which had been posted before.
wilshires - I won't assume things if you don't. Assuming the OP is a bad parent for her school aged kid getting something that's highly appealing to kids and readily available in a lot of places outside of the house where the OP doesn't have much control(school, after school classes, friends houses) is just stupid and pretty bitchy.
I think you're just sour because you know the truth behind this FML. The fact that it happened at 3AM is pretty much the parent's fault. It doesn't matter if the kid got it from school or anywhere else. The parent is responsible for what goes into a 5-year old's mouth. She had to have eaten it before 3AM, but I doubt eating it at school would cause this problem about 11 hours later.
The kid obviously ate the chocolate while at home, therefore the OP deserves it 100%. If the kid was maybe 9-10 or older, then I would take the blame off the parent because at that age they defininately should know better. But 5??? That's the stage where they live and learn. And the parent could have prevented it.
OP, YDI.
Twinkle: I actually agree with #1, #2 and wilshires.
I am a parent with a 6 year old son with PKU (Phenylketonuria). This is a condition that does not allow a person to digest foods with an amino acid called phenylalanine in it. This is found in so many foods like eggs, meat, dairy, breads, pasta and even foods with aspartame in it. Aspartame is a fake sweetener like Splenda and is found in fruit juices, diet drinks, Kool-Aid and several other products kids would love.
I do everything in my power to see that my child does not consume products with phe. I've tried to just keep a lot of these items out of the house period, but foods in our house that might be dangerous to my son I keep in a refrigerator with a lock on it. My son has been offered items at school from other kids, but he knows that it is important NOT to take things from other people because it might make him sick. My son has tried several times to get his hands on things in our refrigerator, but my husband and I see to it that he doesn't- and so far, our son has never once had an incident where he has gotten his hands on something he wasn't supposed to.
The OP might have had this discussion with her child, and even if her daughter did this behind her back, the child got sick at 3AM.... This means the chocolate was eaten maybe a few hours before that-definitely not around lunch time or even right after school. That would be anywhere between 11 and 13 hours. The reponsibility was solely on the parents at this point. The parents could have checked their child's backpack, lunch box and pockets when she got home.
Aside this, I actually think this story is made up and agree with #76. The OP never says anywhere that her child vomitted, but that's what it seems. People that are lactose intolerant mainly have diarrhea, gas or other nausea, but no vomitting. AND if person who is lactose intolerant consumes a food with lactose... they will start feeling sick or uncomfortable anywhere between 30 minutes and 2 hours later, not several hours later- That ot the OP is lying or exaggerating.
I'm probably going to get criticized for the book, but it seems there are a lot of misinformed people commenting on this post that shouldn't be.
Bottom line: a parent is in control of what a 5-year old eats. Once they get older it's harder, but it's not impossible to manage a 5-year old's diet.

I'm glad to see there's a parent on this site that actually realizes it is possible to monitor what your child eats- no matter what the situation. Well said #99.
*ceci n'est pas un comment*
That would be great if you could get your profile pic to be a silhouette with Magritte's bowler hat.
This is why it is so important to start teaching our children tolerance at a very young age. Intolerance can be very messy, so you have to teach your kid to accept people whether they are white, black, lactose, red, yellow or brown!
English only here, please. That's just so everyone can understand each other. Thanks! :-)
#27 - On 11/18/2009 at 12:11pm by Vanni (FML Staff)
Dear Vanni,
I must respectfully disagree with the moderation of wafflemonger's comment. Many Americans and other English speakers are familiar with Rene Magritte's painting of a pipe that says "Ceci n'est pas une pipe" (This is not a pipe) and recognize that the comment was "This is not a comment."
When Arnold Schwarzenegger said, "Hasta la vista, baby," would that be considered speaking Spanish or using a Spanish phrase that is well-known by many Americans? I would think the Magritte reference would be considered a bit of French that many non-Francophones would be familar with.
IMHO
I'll get a second opinion on it.
Edit: I've been vetoed! Unmoderated it is. :-)
#35 - On 11/18/2009 at 12:44pm by Vanni (FML Staff)
I totally agree with Perdix, thus the comment is un-moderated ;-)
#37 - On 11/18/2009 at 12:48pm by Alan (FML Staff)
why do all the staff end their comments in :-) or ;-)?
They are nerds. D:
Or maybe they just want to look like cool kids. o:
Yellow and red people??? Where the eff do you live!?
Also to the OP, YDI its called being a parent, and teaching your kid she cant eat that. When your 5 your old enough to listen and comprehend things.
The 'nerds' answer seems more accurate.
Oh and....
;-)
#53 - On 11/18/2009 at 1:57pm by Vanni (FML Staff)
People often refer to Asians as yellow and Native Americans as red.
midnight_rain, you miss the point.
The joke was that I snuck in "lactose" in with all of the colors that we use to refer to people.
Oh, never mind.
It's kindof sad that people feel the need to nit pick on every flipping comment that perdix makes. Sarcastic humour people! I don't think everything is intended to be serious :)
aw poor thing ): i didnt think tht chocolate could be that harmful to someone who is lactose intolerant.
There's shit everywhere! Your house is full of shit!
Maybe, but at least it smells of chocolate.
I can't see your kid crapping all over the walls, it would be all over her ass, legs and clothes
Oh trust me it can happen...there was an event at the place that I work and when I went to use the bathroom I found that someone had literally shit ALL over the walls, the toilet, the table next to the toilet, and had even managed to get it behind the toilet. So believe me, it is definitely possible.
#20 - On 11/18/2009 at 11:35am by MM23
I think her daughter threw up, actually. And it's obvious that kids find out how to get what they want, whether it's hidden or not. Remember, the OP was cleaning at 3am. The little girl may have snuck out of bed and stolen the candy. It's stupid of you to accuse her mother of being a bad parent just because she had some chocolate in the house. My boyfriend has been allergic to nuts since he was a child, and his mother always kept a jar of cashews because she liked them. He was 9 when he found out about the allergy, and knew better than to get sick by eating the cashews. Maybe the daughter in this FML will have learned something after this.
wow I agree with #16 shes five years old that it old enough to know what shes doing. just because her daughter is is lactose doesnt mean she has to get rid of everything in the house that has milk. come one people I bet if it happend to you, you would have a different opinion.
Ok. First of all, #18, it takes hours for lactose intolerance to take effect, because the food has to be digested for the lack of enzyme to take effect. The worst attack I ever had happened when I was 8 and I was up all night because I couldn't lie down, but it didn't start to happen happen until at least midnight. Secondly, this must be an extremely serious case of lactose intolerance, because the milk content in chocolate (if not combined with other dairy products) is generally not enough to cause this serious of an attack. Also, #16, it is unlikely that she threw up, as lactose intolerance generally affects your lower digestive system, and will not generally make you vomit.
No. anddd No.
Since she is a little kid she has a fast metabolism, it very well could have been a quick reaction. My mother is lactose intolerant and has a very fast metabolism (example: she once tried to gain weight...didn't happen). Eating any dairy makes her feel very sick, very fast.
And my mother also could not eat even a little bit of chocolate without feeling sick, and a little bit more would make her start throwing up. It's not an "extremely serious case", you probably are just a tiny bit lactose intolerant (though I am starting to doubt whether you are at all) and are comparing a NORMAL reaction to yours.
It also does make you throw up. Again, maybe you have a minor case where it only effects you later in the digestive process, but my mother pukes her brains out when she accidentally eats dairy without lactose pills.
Lonely_Lez,
I'm sorry you are lactose-intolerant. I hope you don't miss dairy products too much.
I could have made a very mean, but very funny joke at your expense, but I like you so much, I will refrain. Maybe, one day, we'll get together and get very drunk and then I will tell you this joke and you'll hate me. Fortunately, when we sober up, you will have forgotten it and we will still be friends. ;)
Who is this perdix, and why does he feel the need to comment on every single FML... honestly man, do you spend your entire life on here?
#44 - On 11/18/2009 at 1:38pm by thisisyahoomail
I doubt he spends his life here, but maybe thisisyahoomail does. o:
Seeing as he/she tracks down every single comment perdix makes! ;D
No, I skip a few from time to time.
I really don't spend a lot of time writing comments. Some of my detractors will say, "Yeah, it shows." While my fans like my quick wit.
Yep, hook her up to bittersweet chocolate! Dairy free ^^ Also, milk-free brownies...
Rofl. I agree with some people here - just because the mother has chocolate in her house doesn't mean she's a bad parent. Why the hell should she have to get rid of all the chocolate just because one kid is lactose intolerant? Also, kids aren't smart, they're idiots. Just because they can fool others into getting them what they want doesn't make them smart. They don't know what they're doing and they ignore their parents and do what they were told NOT to do, and end up getting fucked one way or another for their stupid actions.
To the OP, you just need to find a better hiding place for the chocolate. If you've got a job, maybe keep the chocolate somewhere at your work place or something where your daughter doesn't go. If your daughter got the chocolate somewhere outside of the house, hopefully she learns something from the situation and doesn't eat anymore chocolate.
way to watch the kid, but points for not giving her away to the babysitter...yet
Op, your life is average. o:
don't complain that's all part of being a parent if you weren't ready for that maybe you shouldn't have had kids
You deserve it, you dumb cunt. You knew your child was lactose intolerant, and yet you let her have chocolate anyways. She isn't going to fucking find it if you don't leave it laying around.
Since you're done cleaning that up, clean up my word-vomit now!
OnetimeinsummercamptherewasthisonetimethatlikeohmygoodnessweallsataroundthecampfireanddecidedthatwewereallboredandcurioussowedecidedtoexperimentwitheachotherandthenIdecidedthatIlikeditandohmygoodnesswhycan'tIstoptalkingsomeonepleasestopmeohmygoodnessplease
Everyone else is getting so nit-picky about whether or not the OP is a good parent (I myself am on the team giving her the benefit of the doubt. A 5yo can easily get to some chocolate milk in the fridge. Perhaps there are other children in the home. Should they all be banned from dairy simply because they have a sibling that is lactose intolerant? I'm sure the little girl knew she was not supposed to drink chocolate milk) but what I don't understand is what the phrase "when her stomach contents decided I had missed a spot" is meant to imply! Am I to believe the kid threw up again BECAUSE the OP is an inadequate worker?
get lactaid. then she can eat whatever she wants. i thought i was lactose intolerant but then i found out i'm actually allergic to dairy. so i just drink rice milk and soy chocolate stuff. it's still just as good. and there is vegan cheese too. it's not really that big of a problem. and i heard lactaid works really well for lactose intolerance, so try it.
the stuff tastes so bad tho its worse then anything else, I would rather pay 14 more of soy milk.
Graciedacie - I'm pretty sure that the OP is just trying to be funny with her phrasing. I doubt she honestly believes the child was intentionally throwing up. I would say something like that without thinking it could be interpreted as you did.
I don't REALLY think she meant it the way it sounds. It just honestly doesn't make that much sense if you think about it, as written. If she wants to really stress the FML-ness of this situation, she should emphasize how she cleaned for over and hour and as soon as the area was spotless, the little girl pukes all over again.
And this is why I'll never have kids.
real chocolate doesn't have dairy in it. Your kid is 5, you should by now have trained her as to what chocolate she can have, you also should have trained her to throw up in convenient places.
Today, you didn't watch your 5 year-old kid as she got into something she wasn't supposed to have. As a result, you learned a lesson about watching your child. YDI.
If only the OP's daughter was a little older, she could have made her clean it.
5 is old enough to use a scrub-brush. Put that kid to task :]
Hi I just joined up to FML after this comment got posted (as it was mine) and i just wanted to verify some things.
a) my daughter only ate chocolate because a kid at school gave her some, even though her teachers know that she cant have any dairy
b) I do keep all of the dairy in our house hidden
c) she only spewed at 3am because she has late reactions, eg, around 12 hours after she eats the dairy
please stop saying how im a bad parent. accidents happen.
Yes I believe you! Don't worry it happens, hopefully ur daughter will be much more carefull with what she eats.
Oh she will. She's in lots of trouble.
People who are lactose intolerant have reactions anywhere from 30 minutes after consumption to two hours after. She may have late reactions, but 11 hours???
Also, they don't puke. They might have nausea, but not vomitting. I could understand diarrhea, but you clearly said spewing.
Either your child got sick for some other reason, or you are clearly making up FMLs. Either tell the truth or don't submit. Thank You.
The op isn't a bad mother, kids are really sneaky and if they want something they aren't sopposed to have they can easily get it many different ways. Hopefully your daughter will learn now that there is a reason why she's not allowed to have certain foods.
here is an idea point your child in the right direction (the toilet)
I'm not going to touch the "good parent vs bad parent" debate I saw at the begining. Sorry I didn't have time to read ALL comments so I don't know if anyone pointed this out: while very true that she could have easily snuck it and her parents had absolutely no clue, if parents can keep kids away from things like poisons, weapons, and alcohol, all very coomon things in a home that kids don't need, then if a kid can't eat or shouldn't eat something, parents shouls be able to find away to keep those foods away from that kid. Same as with "dangerous" items!
I was the same as your daughter and when I was 3 my mom taught me to look at ingredients before I ate things, and if I saw milk or lactose to not eat it, same with wheat, and gluten. my mom also at the store would kinda play a game with me and she would give me a box and ask me to tell her if I could have it or not. I eventually learned what to and what to not eat.
not calling you a bad parent or person, you need to tell her and show her the things she can't have so she knows. for next time.
I would ream on you for not watching after your daughter better, but it's not like you can know any and every little thing she eats all the time, every time. The thing that really sucks is that aside from telling her "no" to some of her favorite things as punishment, you can't really ground her or anything in a way that's effective. Then again, the former might be enough. *shrugs* Good luck.
why dont you get her chocolate without milk in it...?
YDI for not keeping an eye on your child, and if she was not with you, not making sure the person watching her knew about her lactose intolerance. She is a kid, kids like sweets. You need to make sure she knows the rules. Kids throw up, get over it and just be a parent.
i can appreciate that kids get into everything, but my cousins are lactose intolerent and so i know its fairly easy to put stuff their not allowed in a place they can't reach it (or when they were younger and didnt know any better).
also, should you not be taking your daughter to hospital??
you should be fucking grateful being sick is all shes doing.
The_Pleb: By "tastes like my girlfriend's ass" did you mean your son's girlfriend? The same girl whom you slap on the ass and said is more fun than your wife? You're an idiot.
Good job not being on the ball. Next time, lock her in there until she cleans it all up.
I don't get why people say YDI. Maybe some random friend shared her chocolate with her? 5 year olds dont realise stuff like Oh wait, maybe this girl is allergic for chocolate! What if it's a new friend? You never know. Nuts, maybe. But it's so easy to get chocolate. She could even have STOLEN some for gods sake, incase she was desperate for chocolate. And for people who say that the OP deserves it for putting her in a school which doesn't take care of the girl well, bullshit. They cant stalk the girl 24/7. Maybe it was in breaktime? Or after school, when she played with some other friends or even at their houses?
You can hide chocolate inside your house, but you don't have influence on anything outside of that.
two things could have stopped this: the father could have pulled out, or you could have used birth control
children are preventable. YDI
This sounds like BS to me. I am crazy lactose intolerant, and I've never thrown up as a result. To the one ignorant poster, an intolerance is not an allergy. You can't die from it. It only hurts. And causes some less than comfortable bowel movements.
On top of that, the amount of lactose in even milk chocolate is minute that unless she ate a whole big chocolate bar, she shouldn't have had more than a stomach ache and some poop problems in a couple of hours. Either this story is made up, or your daughter has something more serious in terms of food allergies and intolerance.
Idiot.
You should probably keep an eye on your own kid, and keep stuff that she's allergic to out of her reach. Nice job, idiot.
This post makes me so mad every time I see it. One of two things:
1) You are lying.
2) Your daughter is allergic to chocolate or something else she ate with it.
I am lactose intolerant, and know many people who are, and none of us react to any kind of chocolate. If you are lactose intolerant and you eat chocolate then you will not have a reaction. If, however, you are severely allergic to chocolate, then you will have a reaction. Get your food disorders straight.
I agree with your post, but it's not worth feeling feelings of anger towards someone so retarded.
Why the fuck would it matter if she's lactose intolerant or not? The point is chocolate fucks her up and she got chocolate. Fancy fuckin medical terms aside.
Could it have possibly been MILK CHOCOLATE?
uhhhh my friend is lactose intolerant and gets sick when she eats too much milk chocolate. so obviously it is possible. nice try, though, not everyone on fml is lying
In my household, everyone knows that "lactose-intolerant child who eats foods that make her sick" equals "bloody-lipped child with a face-full of her own puke."
maybe now you'll put your chocolate on top of the fridge eh?
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