Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I spent ages cleaning my house, only for my toddler to spill a box of cereal right when I'd finished. As I cleaned up the mess, the dog dragged the cereal into almost every room. All the floors now have what I can only describe as "surprise crunch zones." FML
Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML
Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML
Today, I found a New Year's surprise: a cockroach in my kitchen drawers. FML
Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, after threatening my son for weeks that if he didn't clean his room, I would, I went in, equipped with a garbage bag, ready to throw away everything I found, only to discover dozens of empty bottles, two partially empty pizza boxes, Taco Bell wrappers, and cockroaches. FML
Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML
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Top comments
perdix 29
You need to take that back to the store. Clearly, you should be getting a LIVE, huge cockroach! What fun for a child is a dead one? She should have to run it down, capture it, kill it while enjoying it's little roachy screams and then eat it. No wonder kids are so soft, fat and lazy these days, we taking all the joy out of childhood by giving them cereal will pre-killed roaches. Thanks for making Texas proud.
tinuelena 0
**** HER life! lol :) Gross, though. Did she spit it out or did you have to fish it out of her mouth?
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Comments (80)
tinuelena 0
**** HER life! lol :) Gross, though. Did she spit it out or did you have to fish it out of her mouth?
Reyo 2
Children are such a blessing from above, aren't they?
Austinsnyder601 1
Fake, there is no way in hell a kid would do something that stupid, no. And no kid would just poor cereal, and no **** roach could climb in a box that was closed!
EatMyCrayonz 0
Its likely a kid would do something that stupid if there only 3.
Brendan3693 0
shcoking to us, yes, but many children have done worse; I am a witness
xNephilim 18
PLEASE tell me you're being sarcastic... Kids put EVERYTHING into their mouths. They don't understand that a cockroach is something most people don't eat. Kids also tend to make HUGE mess. Ask your Mom. She probably has quite a few stories to tell you. And yes, bugs CAN get into closed boxes, because, as far as I know, those boxes were open before they got closed.
020266t 5
3-year old exterminator!
AllyyK 9
Hahaha #52 you just failed, HARD. ' Fake, there is no way in hell a kid would do something that stupid, no' NO, You've obviously never been around little kids or 3 year olds. Kids put random things in their mouths ALL THE TIME. She doesn't know what a cockroach is, she probably thought it was a piece of candy or something. So I highly doubt this FML is fake. Just because you've never seen a kid do that doesn't mean none of them do. Another thing, it's POUR not poor, moron. Also, insects CAN crawl into boxes, it probably crawled in when the box was still open. Ever think of that? For your sake, I HOPE you were being sarcastic, or TRYING to be funny. Either way you fail. Your comment was just sad and makes you look like a dumbass. People like you make our whole generation look bad. You are just a true idiot, and you should probably go back to school. Unless your 21 years old and still in high school or middle school lol. And yes I looked at your profile to see how old you are because I was hoping you were still in high school or middle school, but unfortunatly for you you're probably not. Sooo PLEASE GO BACK! You need to learn about proper grammar and spelling because yours is just horrible. You have a lot to learn. Well, I'm done with my bitching now, I tried to make it as short as possible. But there was A LOT to be said about this ******* idiot lol. And I hope you read this #52! :)
FaddiusPrime 0
Aww, children. Sigh.
DumbStruck79 0
Yeah, YDI for educating your child poorly...
Malnutrition 0
How the **** would he have been able to teach her not to eat a dead cockroach if she hadn't already tried?
americayay 0
I think they were referring more to the fact that she just dumped a box of cereal on the floor, but really, it's all trial and error at that age. They don't know that they can't dump a box of cereal on the floor until they've been told not to and no one tells them not to until they've done so. At 3, she could probably understand it if she was told that she just ate a big gross bug because she dumped the ceral out, so that may be incentive enough not to do it again. OP, you need to store your cereal better!
tinkerbell1357 0
showing the kid some bugs and say..." no touch"
lonkite101 14
Cool
allmidnighteyes 10
Meh, it's protein. I'll bet you could hear it crunching as she munched on it. omnomnomnom
toink 0
Agree! Protein is protein. I'm sure most of us have eaten at least one arthropod and we all are still alive.
GGnoRe 0
mmm a new brand of cereal. Roachflakes. yumyum.
nokillnobeepbeep 0
Who doesn't like Capt. Crunch!?
ohnomama 0
A three year old willingly ate a dead bug? Really? My three year old would be disgusted by that.
v1kt4r 13
thats why he is not talking about your 3 yr old,
Subtext 10
three year old little bastards eat EVERYTHING... cockroaches, cheese, drain cleaner...
commentator10101 0
what kind of parent lets their child play on a cockroach infested floor, you should be ashamed. I wouldn't even let you look after my sisters kids and they are a right pair of little bastards
xNephilim 18
Oh god. Please learn to READ. It clearly stated that the cockroach was INSIDE the box.
1happymummy 14
You really didnt get this one did you?
smoshiee 8
Read the FML before commenting, bubs
JP101 0
YDI for being dirty and having cockroaches in a home with a child
iamseamonster 0
Just because they have cockroaches doesn't mean they have a dirty house. Some areas just get a lot of cockroaches. Anyway, society's getting pretty soft if people think it's wrong to raise children with some cockroaches scuttling around... at least they're not in a war zone or something.
antranger 0
Your child is an idiot.
nazooer 11
The child is 3 years old you re-****. I bet the kids smarter than you.
Kervik 0
Re-****? Is that the action of ******* something in revenge?