Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24647) - you totally deserved it (13091)
On 10/20/2009 at 8:44pm - kids - by Raiders4ever (man) - United States (Virginia)
Agreed with 94. F both your lives. That's just too sad.
#98 - On 10/21/2009 at 10:48pm by DameGreyWulf
Def win. Made me laugh.
@ OP... ouch. seriously. How was the conversation??
You: So. You're my son.
Son: Yup!
No matter how you look at it, it is still awkward!
This is the first day of my life... swear my son's there right in the doorway.
I got a call from the mom, and suddenly everything changed.
He's begging... meeee for money.
/cheesy Bright Eyes stuff
#7 - On 10/21/2009 at 3:49am by allmidnighteyes
#7 ROFL hahahah. i bet the OP is glad that they didn't die before they met her son.
#13 - On 10/21/2009 at 3:58am by shannondotjpeg
that kinda sux, but this shouldnt be an FML, if anything your life is prolly alot more blessed, quit being a man whore and this prolly wont happen again
#4 - On 10/21/2009 at 3:46am by spyderman2190
Did he just ring your doorbell and say "Hey, I'm your son." Or something? How did you meet?
You left this so open-ended, how did you meet!??!?!?
#5 - On 10/21/2009 at 3:46am by LemonadePink
Gee.. sorta like what he did to her, only she won't be walkin away for about 17 yrs.
Karma's a b!otch
You planted your seed, now the moms harvesting greed.
this is very much an FML, he just met the kid, so chances are the kid was introduced for a reason (so that the mother can get money out of him), and who knows, the girl may have wanted to get pregnant, she may have purposely used defective condoms, lied to him about being on the pill or having got the shot. Or maybe the condom broke and she said that she would go get plan B but never did. I know a lot of girls (sadly) who purposly get pregnant to collect money (both from the father, and cuz you can also collect from the provence (not sure about the states)).
why does everyone always blame the guy? its half the girls fault too, in fact more so because she should have taken more precautions because its her body (and before anyone starts calling me sexist, im not, im a girl, i just believe in equal rights, and always blaming guys for mistakes that are partially ours is not equal.)
#75 - On 10/21/2009 at 2:22pm by damnrosi
My cousin's "girlfriend" got preggers on purpose. You know she did. All she does is... nothing. She trapped him, and is now leeching off of him and my grandmother (he lives with her). It's sickening... she still SMOKES too.
She dared to ask my mother to borrow her wedding dress.
I certainly immediately thought the stupid bimbo the OP sorrowfully banged at least withheld information from him for some time. That's completely unfair to him and to the son. I don't know what makes people do such sick shit.
#102 - On 10/22/2009 at 12:38am by DameGreyWulf
heyy ughm how bout you learn to effin spell.. its gayy when you cant understand what people are sayin cuase theyre too stupid to spell things the right way...
TLI! Too little information.
Is this kid 2 years old or 40?
Does he want money or just a hug?
Is his mother any ol' ho, or was she your ex-wife (or current wife)?
Is he hanging out with that pedophile, Obi-Wan Kenobi, while you're trying to run an Empire?
Do you remember the sex? That's the good part for most guys (a few of us like being dads, but we still like sex a lot, too!)
Spill it, dude, so we can properly bash you.
Nobody deserves to have a woman not tell you that she is giving birth to your child. He was robbed of seeing his son grow up, and so much more. Don't you guys get it?!
#79 - On 10/21/2009 at 3:13pm by bigcrazymike
Well, now you do. :]
Now tell him to shut the fuck up and do his homework!
No cookies before supper, either.
#11 - On 10/21/2009 at 3:55am by Witchcraft
9 PM? Damn, kids are spoiled these days! I had to be in bed by 7:30 P.M. when I was a kid, up until I was in middle school. Then bed time was 8:00 P.M.
well.. it takes me about 5 or 6hrs to do hw and assignments plus i have to do other stuff such as dinner shower etc. so.. that makes sense I get home @ 4:30- 5 and go to bed @ around 10-11.. I have to get up @ 6:30.. I wish i could go to bed earlier.. so i don't think I'm as lucky as kids who get to go to bed @8 or 9 and I'm only in grade 8.. it's gonna be even worse in my later years. :/
#24 - On 10/21/2009 at 4:44am by KatieGoesRawrr
Hang on katie, let me get a pen and some paper so I can write that down. The internet makes stalking so easy.
Perhaps, as a 13 year old girl, listing that you are an eighth grader from Brisbane would not be the best idea. I suggest not putting your full birthday and your town.
#33 - On 10/21/2009 at 7:26am by TenebrificTurtle
When I was lucky as a kid, my parents would let me and my brothers stay up to 9h to watch the end of....... DRAGONBALL Z!!!
#78 - On 10/21/2009 at 2:52pm by bballboy91
If you'r taking it to Maury make sure you take some dancing lessons before the show. It's customary for the guy when he finds out he isn't the father to break out into dance.
that is my favorite .gif ever.
it is even better when a mario hat and goombas are photoshopped into it.
#18 - On 10/21/2009 at 4:10am by allmidnighteyes
lizzzie it does have to be an fml...
now he has to take care of a kid...
I'm sorry man that really sucks
wrap it before you tap it
no glove no love
cover it before you smother it
cover your stump before you hump
if your not gonna sack it go home an wack it
if you go into heat package your meat
the right selection is to wrap your erection
Fuck condoms, premarital sex is the shit. Get 'em pregnant, get 'em pregnant, get 'em pregnant.
#23 - On 10/21/2009 at 4:35am by allmidnighteyes
How about tape it before you rape it?
That ones original as far as I know.
#69 - On 10/21/2009 at 12:46pm by DoomJeff91
Well, Brave_Sir_Robin...
I was told that my parents asked the Skyfairy for a wiggling new bundle of joy. About nine months later, I was placed on their doorstep by the Delivery Stork. My parents opened the door...
...and gasped in horror. They didn't ask for a fucking baby, they wanted a puppy! They've begrudged me ever since. :[
Now, I don't know if that's how you were made, but I thought I'd share my story with you. :]
#80 - On 10/21/2009 at 3:28pm by Witchcraft
They need to do way instain mother> who kill thier babbys. becuse these babby cant frigth back? it was on the news this mroing a mother in ar who had kill her three kids. they are taking the three babby back to new york too lady to rest my pary are with the father who lost his chrilden : i am truley sorry for your lots
#105 - On 10/22/2009 at 7:31pm by Hellcrapdamn
This is the first thing http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081017195134AAWT7Ez This is the second http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_RaPOOVX1Y&feature=related . Watch the second one, and then read the first one. You should begin to understand at this point. Blammo.
#110 - On 10/24/2009 at 1:27am by Hellcrapdamn
I don't think she was saying "what?" about the topic of your comment, I think she was saying "what?" because she couldn't understand it because of all the misspelled words.
#116 - On 10/26/2009 at 5:06pm by gummibehrs
"Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. My first urge was to complain about my life. FML"
That sounds more appropriate to me.
This is a website devoted to people bitching about their daily happenings. Did you forget that?
#103 - On 10/22/2009 at 7:22am by roosterman187
How did you know he was your son? You didn't even say I MET my son, just that you SAW him. Saw him where? In a mcdonalds? I'm just confused.
wow i guess now maybe you are thinking back to allll the times you had sex with no protection..... and how many little 'raiders4ever' are running around out there. you totally deserve it dude. wrap it up next time
#26 - On 10/21/2009 at 5:27am by cali_cougar
Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig YDI. You were stupid enough to get a girl pregnant, now deal with the consequences. Next time wrap your meat.
#28 - On 10/21/2009 at 6:11am by Chfanfiction
How did you know he was your son if you didn't know you had one?
#30 - On 10/21/2009 at 6:31am by NathanKett
Next time don't be the fucking Johnney Appleseed of Sperm and keep track of who the hell you sleep with.
#36 - On 10/21/2009 at 7:45am by TenebrificTurtle
You know what would make this more of an FML? If the OP was a woman.
#44 - On 10/21/2009 at 8:59am by wafflemonger
I guess YDI for not knowing...
I hope you remember the sex...?
#50 - On 10/21/2009 at 9:44am by TenebrificTurtle
It's an FML for anyone to have a kid who doesn't want one, especially if they're not ready for it. What makes this truly heinous is that the mother hid the pregnancy from him so he couldn't even pay for the abortion.
I think the mother should have been honest. But if you are going to have sex you need to expect this will happen.
#56 - On 10/21/2009 at 10:04am by TenebrificTurtle
#56 - are you serious? Every man that has sex should expect to get a woman pregnant and have that woman not tell him about it until after the kid is born? That's one of the most ignorant statements I've seen in a long time.
#60 - On 10/21/2009 at 10:37am by jumpinjaxflash
I am not saying it was right that the woman not tell him, but having a son pop up out of nowhere is not as shocking in context that he HAS had sex and thus should expect shit happens, condoms break, people lie.
#61 - On 10/21/2009 at 10:39am by TenebrificTurtle
Actually you know what, jumpinjaxflash. Yes, if anyone has sex they should expect the natural to occur, a baby. That is what sex is for, reproduction. It was not right of the mother to not tell him, but he enjoyed the sex, he didn't pull out. They tell you fucking condoms don't work all the time, neither does birth control. If the sperm wants to get through it will. So don't tell me I am stupid sir, because you think not everyone should expect to be pregnant when they have sex or impregnate someone, cause that shows your ignorance.
#111 - On 10/24/2009 at 11:57am by TenebrificTurtle
#111 you are missing the point. It's not that she got pregnant, it's that she never told him. People are so stupid...
I GOT the point, but I was also pointing out that he had sex. Its not FML, its I had sex and now have to deal with it.
#113 - On 10/24/2009 at 10:34pm by TenebrificTurtle
You're still not getting the point. It isn't "Oh noes I had sex but I wasn't expecting THIS, now I need to take care of a kid" it's "Wow that bitch never told me I had a son, now I missed out on a part of my son's life." at least it would be like that for some people, I assume that's why this is an FML.
It boggles the mind why anyone would consider the option that you might not deserve that one. Unless your sperm was stolen in your sleep, there's no way this isn't a YDI. Even then, I'd probably still say YDI for being a heavy sleeper. If you don't want to lose, then don't gamble, genius.
#54 - On 10/21/2009 at 9:54am by blastvortex
For the books, I do not believe that he deserves to have been lied to about his son. But Op when you have sex with people do not expect the Condom Fairies to be on duty all the time. While it is horrible that you were lied to, you now have to deal with another human being. I am not saying he should expect to get lied to, but in the light that he has had sex and not been "milked" every night by ninja, he needs to take this as a life lesson--don't have sex unless you are willing to take all the risks that come with it. Welcome to the big leagues kid. =)
#62 - On 10/21/2009 at 10:41am by TenebrificTurtle
Wow......this is the craziest shit I've heard in a while. How in the hell do you know this child is your son, when you ONLY say you saw him and no one actually said "Hey, this is your son"? Come on now....if you believe you have a son you need to get a DNA test done. If you don't wanna wrap it, then don't tap it! Good Luck OP.
#63 - On 10/21/2009 at 10:51am by YamahaMama09
"If you don't wanna wrap it, then don't tap it!"
not heard that one before but lol!
#67 - On 10/21/2009 at 12:37pm by jeniilouise
"If you don't wanna wrap it, then don't tap it!"
not heard that one before but lol!
#68 - On 10/21/2009 at 12:38pm by jeniilouise
lol the responses here are just sad. its like i just somehow got warped to another dimension of stupidity. prudes, virgins and morons everywhere!
*theres no place like home, theres no place like home, theres no place like home, theres no place like home...*
#64 - On 10/21/2009 at 10:54am by organisedchaos
well I think your son should be the one saying FML for having a dad that didn't even take the time to find out that he exsisted. I mean guys sleep with girls and never check to even see that 6 weeks down the road everything is ok. so what if it was a drunken night or whatever. poor excuse, unless the girl refused to answer u'r calls after then I think u deserve it. plus kids are a blessing anyhows! don't sleep with people If u can't handle that kind of responsibility!
#73 - On 10/21/2009 at 1:30pm by kristidgranger
oh my God please tell me you are kidding. what if he and his ex were together for years. she was on the pill so he didnt use a condom. they broke up. she was pregnant. she didnt know then, he didnt know. do you really expect him to follow up with her 6 weeks after they break up to see if she might be carrying his baby? all of you commentors are rediculous. this isnt the first time its happened to someone but its good to know you are all using safe sex practices so you dont overpopulate the world with more holier-than-thou-no-imagination people
#76 - On 10/21/2009 at 2:23pm by plutosaplanet
of course he didnt know he had a kid. hes a raider fan. and everyone knows raider fans have no intelligence whatsoever.
73- Everyone is supposed to call every one night stand they had each 6 weeks later? 回回回回回回回回回回回回回回回回回 ※※FUCK!!!※●●※※※※※※※※※ 回※※※※●※※●※※※※※※※回 ※※※※※●※※●※※※※※※※※ 回※※※※●※※●※※※※※※※回 ※※※※※●※※●※※※※※※※※ 回※※●●●※※●●●●※※※※回 ※※※●※●※※●※※●●●●※※ 回●●●※●※※●※※●※※●※回 ※●※●※●※※●※※●※※● 回【ＦｕｃｋＯｕｔｔａＨｅａ!™】回 回回回回回回回回回回回回回回回回回.
FYL, she has an obligation to tell you about something like that when it happens.
this is missing a lot of details, though.
how do you not know you have a son? If you're a guy then never mind but girls actually have to GIVE BIRTH to their kids.
#88 - On 10/21/2009 at 4:45pm by frightful316
92-the OPs a guy, not a girl-I think a girl would notice if she had a kid.
OP-that sux that u didn't know, but unless the kid is 18 or older, u have to help take care of him now. Tough luck.
i think that was pretty funny but how do you not know that you have a son
#109 - On 10/23/2009 at 2:24pm by matt2010
YDI for not using protection with complete strangers that you never see again until they tell you you have a son... wtf. PATERNITY TEST.
#117 - On 11/08/2009 at 11:15pm by bored690
YDI for not following up on the sex.
Or FYL if the girl walked out like in American Pie.
#118 - On 12/27/2009 at 11:26pm by RyanKaufman
