Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML
Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML
Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML
Today, I entered the crowded bus and one man sitting in the priority seat glanced at me. Upon seeing my protruding tummy, he quickly offered me his seat. I took the seat. I am not pregnant. FML
Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML
Today, some kid on the bus kept pissing me off, making fart jokes and singing the Peppa Pig theme song on repeat. Angrily, I confronted him and asked him if he was 7. He retaliated with, "Yeah, 7 inches deep in your MOM!" FML
Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, a businessman in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
skilova4lifezzz 19
You're the bastard who took the cookie from the cookie jar!!
A07 48
Should'ave told him you eat mean kids who annoy you on the bus.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (87)
skilova4lifezzz 19
You're the bastard who took the cookie from the cookie jar!!
RiceCrispies 7
She took something else too.
feelingold 18
That kid got the sex talk too young. Honesty is not always the best policy. Storks until age seven is my advice...
abeg157 14
Actually, a common theme, ESPECIALLY, on FML, is children under the impression that pregnant mothers eat the baby, thus it ending up inside the stomach.
RainbowBitch15 11
I am a pre-k teacher at a day care, and one day a child was drawing a picture of me. My co-teacher told the child not to forget the baby in my tummy, and the child, with the most serious expression, said, "Why? Did she eat it?" and went right back to coloring. Kids come up with crazy shit. It's best to let their little imaginations run (unless the idea gives them serious distress).
blazingshot147 19
Well #46 the logic behind it is, food goes to your stomach when you eat, kids assume you ate the baby because you said it's in your tummy. Granted it's probably best that they don't know the birds and bees especially in pre-K.
JKPwnage 27
#28 I say 'til age nine; that's when I got the talk
TheCrispyCat 20
I'm 16, still no talk given to me.
LexiDaBae 17
I never got the talk either. I figured it out myself. I don't quite remember how though...
Llama_Face89 33
59- I'm 25 and best I got was don't do it. I had to learn that shit myself.
Enslaved 36
My mom told me that if I took a bath with a boy, and sat on opposite sides of the tub--I will still get pregnant! For years I refused to go to the local swimming pool. My dad's only one time sex talk was during a baseball commercial. He turned to me and said, "If you plan to have sex, it will be wise to be on the pill". Then continue to watch the game in silence.
DocBastard 38
I resent your choice of epithet, sir.
samfate 5
definetly. his cookie jar. as a personal insult
LilHottieInLove 25
#28 It is not always the best idea to keep things from your kids. If they start asking you questions and they don't get the answer they will go to another source and that's when you run into trouble. Kids are smart and can handle more than we think. Lying to them can ruin your relationship at any age.
HanBroman 20
when I was 4 I asked and my parents said it happened when you slept in the same bed with a boy. for a while after that I was scared I would get pregnant when I was in my brothers bed with my dad reading us a bedtime story! theres no harm in telling a child that the baby is made inside the tummy but they dont need to know how. they find out on their own anyway. I never had a talk but knew by the 1st grade from the kids at school that it happened from a boy and a girl putting their rude parts together. it made a lot of sense to me actually. kids dont need to know the gory details
Metagame 12
Apparently I didn't get the talk right, because I thought the "thing" that goes in the "thing" just stays there. That's what I thought for a while. I pretty much had already figured out what happens previously though.
arrow007archer 19
68# that could be a FML on its own lol
Chibi_Kitten 24
#68- My mom told me a similar thing. The difference was that if I slept in the same bed as a guy, I could get pregnant, even without being naked! Sadly, my health teacher in high school burst out laughing with the entire class before telling me that my mom lied. My mom only smirked when I told her.
Tthug 34
And this is an FML why?
Shayaan 10
Smart boy
efettes 19
Or maybe he thinks she ate a child lol when I was pregnant I met a kid who thought that's what I did.
Kamon97 23
Wtf 26 you're so young...
foxwasalamb 24
69- your point is...?
brand125 17
69 - who are you to judge?
gemcguire 13
What did his parents do? Lol
Crystal4 23
I'm wondering the same thing...
JJ_86 22
Apparently they did a poor job of explaining child birth to the kid.
Not_Impressed13 9
Forgot to swallow?
AllKnowingTurtle 9
Kids learn fast!
kost4060 14
Why did his parents tell him how to have babies
EpicSquishii 21
Because they don't want an ignorant child, as they're supposed to be raising a successful adult. Why wouldn't someone teach their kids about the life cycle?
sweetbliss3 37
why not? someone needs to teach children about sex ed, might as well be the parents.
feelingold 18
Maybe he walked in on his parents doing the dirty and explanations were needed....
tattomama90 2
my nephew was 6 going on 7 when I was pregnant with my daughter. he has asked where babies come from. his dad explain it to him. well in way he would understand and so he wont get in trouble at school if he told a friend
depressed_child 19
Haha that's funny whys it a FML?
SmokinGuns 13
If people can stop submitting and moderating FMLs that are weak like this one and not even an FML, that'd be great.
A07 48
Should'ave told him you eat mean kids who annoy you on the bus.
Rallred32 20
Like in a past FML, maybe the boy thought that OP ate a baby.
yeahthatsmeee 10
Maybe he thinks pregnant people ate the child?