Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I had to tell my daughter that just because markers say "washable", it doesn't mean that you can draw all over our newly-painted walls. She's 15. FML
Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML
Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that no, just because the word, "salad" is in the name, it doesn't mean that macaroni or potato salad are automatically healthy for you. She still doesn't believe me. She's 19. FML
Today, my mom ate some flowers without knowing if they were safe. Turns out they are slightly poisonous and she had an upset stomach, but she will be fine. Her excuse? "I didn't know it had poison." I had to explain that's exactly why you don't eat plants you don't know are poisonous or not. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 27 year-old sister why a stainless steel fork isn't a good toy for my 8 month-old baby. Twice. FML
Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML
Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML
Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML
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Top comments
nuggetmonster 12
I guess you could say she's not the brightest crayon in the box.
JocelynKaulitz 28
Keep calm and crayon.
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Comments (124)
nuggetmonster 12
I guess you could say she's not the brightest crayon in the box.
JMichael 25
I'd say her color is maybe royal blue
poopylaw 5
i'd say she's explorative. the guy who invented gum tried to eat rubber.
mkcontrollers 11
Why royal blue. I bet she was tickled pink!
swaggalikethat 22
I bet after finding that out, she was orphan blue: the saddest of all blues.
SuperFail55 10
YYYEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!
kenyalovesarah 11
things get confusing when a crayon is called Mac n cheese
whathefuckislife 11
I imagine your daughter is still in classes where crayon use is rather prevalent.
caohm 18
I've said it once I'm saying it now and by God I will probably say it again! It's dangerous being that stupid.
JocelynKaulitz 28
Keep calm and crayon.
macystar 14
That was actually really clever.
Opie_Winston 7
#3 epic
dontkilljay 14
That's not exactly fair though, I mean these days they all have names like "blueberry" "grape soda" "strawberry cupcake"
davincidasecond 24
The way I see it is, if it doesn't look like food, it probably isn't edible.
little_one1 14
You probably shouldn't eat it just because it looks like food. So you ahould also smell it, but if it smells like not food its probably not food.
billigoat 8
What does food look like, exactly?
Rainhawk94 27
Don't get all philosophical now
RedPillSucks 31
Twinkies.
StompinOnCrayons 15
And they also have ones that smell like fruit
Somefruits 24
There actually are crayons that are edible. They're made out of beans or something weird. They aren't meant for eating, but it wouldn't be bad for you. They probably wouldn't taste very good.
SystemofaBlink41 27
75- Wow! The repetition there is almost poetic!
minna97 14
maybe she was just really hungry
mallu86 9
Then she ***** rainbow.
hamzor 5
nyan teen
Bumblebrea99 14
I've always wondered what they taste like...
DrEnia1at0r 20
Wax...they taste like wax.
dramaelf 37
Yeah, crumbly wax that sticks in your teeth. Gross.
xxsakuraxx 29
When you were a kid did you ever scratch the inside of your ear, forget to wash your hands, and eat? It tastes like that. No I didn't eat crayons on purpose. When I was a kid my mom lit crayons instead of candles on my cake (it was pretty cool) and my cousin convinced me they were edible. She lied!
awkwardloveannie 28
no they don't taste like ear wax, they taste like unscented candles that you put in the freezer
Zebediabolical 43
The flavor of the crayon is dependent on the color. Just like slushies!
lovelyohhmee 8
So your mom Improvised. #31..
Bumblebrea99 14
Your cousin is an evil genius! And i swear ear wax tastes like death!!
Bumblebrea99 14
that was meant for #31 (im new (and not very good) at this)
JaneChemi_fml 21
you were doing fine until you corrected yourself. don't worry, you get used to it
ColonelFML 17
I guess she wanted to taste the rainbow.
empbob 20
Maybe she actually wanted to see if she could poop a rainbow......
KatieMajestic 17
I thought you used skittles to taste the rainbow
fax160 13
Maybe they are secretly delicious ?
ColonelFML 17
But they are made of wax
buttcramp 21
they do taste like wax but at 16? you are a terrible parent and your kids dumb
patchesOhoolihan 12
...and your a judgemental bitch
Greybade 9
Whoa, a bit uncalled for, don't you think #26?
Sweetpea22 14
So having a stupid kid means OP is a terrible parent? Guess your parents are terrible because you're an idiot
buttcramp 21
no I'm just saying my child is more intelligent.
buttcramp 21
and yeah my parents are terrible lol
Llama_Face89 33
59- Nobody gives a rats ass about your kid. I just hope they don't turn out like you.
abnormalbird 11
Blame not the parents but blame the education system.
Breegotcake 14
And this is the reason why company's have to put do not eat on almost everything...even things that are common sense. Snh
Cuteroxx 17
You have hungry daughter like my cousin!
mallu86 9
OP's daughter could actually be your cousin. It's a small world.
IworkAt711 14
10- I don't know why, but I read your comment like it was in some stereotypical asian woman's voice.
LowExpectations 30
#68, I read it with a Russian accent.
vewwe 20
#68 - I read it with Borat's accent.