Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69479) - you totally deserved it (4386)
On 02/21/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (New York)
You got boned hard by the girl that you were boneing... that's cold bro. FYL
#77 - On 08/09/2009 at 10:40pm by trollskitroll
>.> I see two people think that genetics and others opinions are your fault
Anyways, ouch
#2 - On 02/21/2009 at 7:01pm by Icalasari
i always wanted to say that to a guy i knew but that takes serious balls
#3 - On 02/21/2009 at 7:04pm by holynemesis1208
Well, did you? no, jk...that wasnt very nice of her to say- good luck with your relationship in the future....
#4 - On 02/21/2009 at 7:05pm by CanadAssassiN
What's up with small penises? What's the problem? I don't believe that you have an pickle sized penis, it's like she needed it a lot larger and bigger to feel it... What a bad, bad image!
I couldn't never say anything like that, or any of the girls I know.
Well, considering that 90% of nerve endings in the vagina are in the first inch or so of the vagina (especially near the opening) and the g-spot is only about 2 inches in there isn't really a need for a large penis...really a large penis would miss those most sensitive areas
how many inches are we talking here? unless you really got a micropenis, that's uncalled for!
#10 - On 02/21/2009 at 7:49pm by blackinches
Shoulda cum in her eye and left imo :P
On a serious note: that's seriously harsh, definitely deserved some kind of retalliation :(
Ditto to #8. Ask her if anyone makes fun of her for her huge vagina?
#13 - On 02/21/2009 at 8:41pm by Warlock
Well how old are you? You can always hope it just hasn't finished growing all the way, since the penis usually grows most rapidly during at the end of puberty, and since some guys don't even start puberty until they're about 15, you might not be full grown until you're about 19.
Just tell her she needs to stick around a little longer and then things will get better.
;D
Or maybe you just simply don't have a very big penis and you're girlfriend has too high expectations.
#14 - On 02/21/2009 at 8:44pm by d00d_c0m3_0n
So how much experience does she have that she's such an expert on penis size? Someone who cares for you wouldn't say that, you deserve better.
#19 - On 02/22/2009 at 1:04am by Anti-Bimbo
i would have slapped the shit out of her.. what a bitch
#20 - On 02/22/2009 at 2:10am by themanistheman
Sure... most of the nerve endings are at the opening...but that doesn't mean that the ladies don't enjoy the feeling of a fully stretched vagina... that can sometimes be more pleasurable?
#23 - On 02/22/2009 at 4:54am by Rollercoaster
Did you tell her "Do you ever get made fun of for have ogre tits?" Or something like that?
#24 - On 02/22/2009 at 11:17am by Kalixa
Pika swa, i feel so sry for you , tht girl is a mean bitch..so sry good luck in the future....
...lucky for us outside the US we dont have those open space too much freedom locker rooms
#27 - On 02/22/2009 at 8:03pm by maui
That is fucked up. People should really consider thinking before they speak!
#29 - On 02/22/2009 at 9:30pm by lyssypoo
It's not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean!! ;]
#34 - On 02/23/2009 at 11:03am by uminuscooll
#34... thinking positive is good, but you have to admit if you had to chose whether your bf, hypothetically speaking, gets a small or big penis, you'd take the big one. It's comments like yours that give guys false hope. Its better to know the truth and work from there.
#35 - On 02/23/2009 at 5:07pm by Rollercoaster
ive never been told it by a girl, i guess theyve all been nice, but i feel the pain.
#37 - On 02/24/2009 at 10:00am by heathallin
lol i feel for you bro.
Not everyone has a big unit...
and rofl at 21
#41 - On 02/28/2009 at 4:10am by bigweber77
You should of said what over sized cunt gave birth too you?.Probably a low class single mummy who lives on renting her cunt haha
#43 - On 03/01/2009 at 7:47am by robbo
Dump her. If she actually gives a rats ass about what sort of person you are, she wouldn't have said that sort of thing unless she was nonchalantly joking- which is still uncalled for.
#45 - On 03/02/2009 at 11:19pm by alplhawolf0019
You should tell her you do get made fun of in the locker room, but not for having a small dick, but for being with her. Then call her a slut, backhand the girl, put on your top hat, and walk out the door.
LMAO @ #21......Chris Brown that bitch
On a serious note, you should never, ever, ever hit a woman....but you can shake the shit out of one!!!
#47 - On 03/04/2009 at 12:47pm by TURBO007420
just tell her, "well no, but there is a lot of room in here."
start lifting your foot...
#49 - On 03/05/2009 at 3:50pm by jim_witness
shes kinda a bitch huh? but unless its really thin, like a pencil dick, i dont see why you would need a long one.
#50 - On 03/07/2009 at 11:29pm by girlgeorge
8 is fucking hilarious. and to 34, u are a fucking genius
and to 46 lol
#51 - On 03/08/2009 at 4:21am by xRedNormandyx
My advice: You shouldn't be honoring a superficial trollop like that with your time or your essence, since she obviously lacks the taste, discernment, or depth of character to care about any part of a man that isn't dangling between his legs. There are REAL women out there who will love you for you if you put momentary gratification aside long enough to spot one.
#57 - On 03/30/2009 at 12:58am by SgtSchadenfreude
This bothers me more than anything else on this site. I HATE women that complain about penis size. This is also directed at any guy on here that suggests he "grow a larger dick". This is not the OPs problem. Men cannot change the size of their penis. God gave us the body, and it's parts, that we have. We can't magically grow a larger dick. Penis pumps do not work and there is no such thing as a "male enhancement pill". Short of surgery, which is expensive and painful, there is no way to change the size of our penis. We are stuck with what the good Lord chose to give us.
Women complaining about size are shallow and not worth any man's time. This is a product of the pornography industry. I watch porn myself and have a decent collection, but I'm realistic about porn when it comes to my own sex life. Pornography is an illusion. Women see porn and think that every man should be hung 10+ inches and should be able to have sex for hours at a time (with only 1 orgasm). Unfortunately, most men are lucky to be 6-8 inches and last 10 minutes in the heat of passion. If a girl wants some unrealistic scenario of a man hung like an elephant that will pleasure her for hours on end and in about 20 different positions then she needs to get into the porn industry. There's money to be made there and your fantasies will be satisfied.
So you can go ahead and say that I am some sex-deprived geek with a tiny penis. I don't care. I am happy with the tools that God gave me. I've had my fair share of sexual experiences and my partners were not dissatisfied. One of my favorite shows is Nip/Tuck and one of the main guys, Christian Troy, is talking to his son about sex and he tells him, "A girl won't care if you have a 4 inch penis as long as you know how to use it." That is completely true. Plus, most girls won't care if you take the time and effort to make them feel good. Foreplay and oral sex are great things. But above all else, you must have confidence.
This is a horrible FML. I feel sorry for you Mike, and I suggest that this girl might not be the best girl for you. There are girls who are much better and are not as shallow as a puddle. Find a girl who will appreciate you for who you are, no matter what kind of package you're carrying.
#59 - On 03/30/2009 at 4:53pm by idahovandalfan
so idaho... are you implying that the OP should grow a bigger dick? I'm lost. and there actually are free ways to increase possible poking distance, with obvious pulling or even jelqing. balooning works too but it can be dangerous
#9 FTW. Knowing your facts completely blows the shit out of ignorant idiots. My only advice OP is to gain some confidence, give this bitch the wrecking of her life, and then we she begs for more, tell her no. :P
#60 - On 03/31/2009 at 7:43am by Captainshit
You shouldn't mind it too much. When she said that it doesn't necessary mean she doesn't like your dick. I personally prefer smaller ones over large ones- the big ones scare me. As long as she still loves you that's what matters the most.
Your girlfriend's comment doesn't even make sense. Penis size when flaccid is not an indicator of erect size, and in a locker room, your penis would be flaccid - and if it wasn't, it wouldn't be the size that people were making fun of, lol. Definitely a rude thing to say.
#59 agreed, another one said he should shake the shit out of her...that would probably be needed. There would either be some walking out involved, or a strict "get the hell out of here" involved. You better have broken up with her...even if she "didn't mean it or just kidding" then she is one dumb person.
#63 - On 04/09/2009 at 1:07am by firedragon64
Let's be honest...s long as you're atleast 5" long and 2" wide you're good. She's obviously had some sort of experience you should've hit that a second time....with your car.
#65 - On 04/22/2009 at 11:05am by someone1989
Wow, I hope you left immediately after that. What a bitch.
#66 - On 05/04/2009 at 9:25am by CapnObvious123
#59...I agree. :) I don't think a lot of people realize that women get false ideas from porn too. But let's not forget that porn makes guys get unrealistic ideas about what women's bodies should be like (i.e. not every girl needs giant boobs to be hot).
OP: I'm sorry. That's really messed up.
You should have asked her how she knows what a small penis looks like and how many exactly has she seen?!
stop bleming others for your small dick
If she prefers a bigger one thats her choice
how dare you ppl insult her because she has a preference?
dude if your boyhood is small enough there is not a thing we can do with it not our fault.
I guess it's okay foe guys to like big tits but if we don't think your 2 incher is big enough we are shallow?
seriously get a dose of reality micro boy
#70 - On 06/01/2009 at 2:09pm by MetalCraze
Wow. She's not worth the trouble, make her your new ex instead!
#71 - On 06/02/2009 at 12:52pm by UWBeautyQueen12
# 68:
You are absolutely correct. I agree and regret the oversight in my first comment. The porn industry gives false images of sex on every level. This includes the female role in sex. Guys who watch porn expect every girl to bend over backwards, have huge (likely fake) tits, do every position in the Kama Sutra and be a 3 input girl (mouth, vaginal and anal for those who wonder about this term). Of course, nobody would watch pornography if a guy had a 5" penis, the girl weighed 250 lbs. and every scene lasted 2 minutes. The expectations for sex, especially the first time, are always blown out of proportion. I remember my first time with my ex (whom I dated for 2 years). I was so nervous and worried that I lasted about all of 60 seconds. The one nice thing I can say about her is that we were able to talk about it and discuss our sex life. After the first time jitters were gone, we had the best sex ever. To the OP, hold your head up high (pun intended). There are girls out there who will love you no matter what you're packing.
#72 - On 06/03/2009 at 9:26pm by idahovandalfan
She's a bitch. Whether she prefers larger or not, it's plain mean to say something like that to someone. So who gives a shit if you're not hung like a bull? Do you know how to use it? Then use it with someone who isn't a shallow ho.
PS #59, well said.
#73 - On 06/08/2009 at 2:12pm by whatever2468
Yea, Porn blows everything out of proportion.
If she really likes you enough, she would know that every guy gets offended of how small his dick is, at one point.
I think that she needs to get some manners. I can honestly say that I really don't care how big a guy's dick is as long as he loves me. When there is love and respect in a relationship good sex comes because you can both talk about what you want and how to get it.
#75 - On 07/23/2009 at 4:28am by Little_Ren
if she said that I would prob go find something bigger and jam it up there then kick her out.
Ditch the Bitch Ditch the Bitch
