Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4862) - you totally deserved it (3295)
On 11/07/2009 at 3:47am - intimacy - by forewhatnow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
how the hell do you know what good is? just be happy someone spent the money to feed your dumb ass, and spent the time to fuck you.
The first time with a new partner usually isn't too great, the first time at all usually sucks completely.
You're not used to each others bodies yet, dunno what each person likes and dislikes, so forth.
Also, chicken >IS< good.
Omg, people on here just love picking fights huh? that sucks hun, my first time was crappy too, don't get down though, it can only get better!!
#4 - On 11/07/2009 at 8:43am by FML_FYL_88
ur first wont be good, but it does get better once u both get experience and fin out what eachother like.. dont be discouraged, n dont make ur firsy time ruin the next time jus put it behind you!! :D
#5 - On 11/07/2009 at 8:54am by kravitzz1990
Well the first time can often bring pain and discomfort, and it could have been his first time. Don't be so judgemental.
#7 - On 11/07/2009 at 8:57am by angryseatroll
that's a little harsh to bitch about your first time on here. how do you know what good is without experience. there is talking about it and actually experiencing it. your first time is going to be harsh. no need to be a bitch about it after someone actually tool the time for you.
#9 - On 11/07/2009 at 9:08am by wrigglezeus
if it was me bitch we'd fuck first then I'd take your skank hoe ass for the dollar menu at mcdonalds with a two item limit
there are probably only 1 in 10 people (most likely even less) who actually have a positive experience on their first time.
Maybe the OP was expecting more because she was "saving it" for someone special or because she was told by her girlfriends how good it is and then was disappointed when it didnt seem to measure up. We dont have information as to how old the OP is.
Agreed though that the OP probably shouldnt be sharing this information with the world until she has tried it again a few more times.
#13 - On 11/07/2009 at 9:18am by Reality_bites
wow of course it's not gonna be good it's your first time. stop complaining.
#14 - On 11/07/2009 at 9:20am by blackberry1993
Bring the chicken with you next time you have sex, then it will be more enjoyable.
#17 - On 11/07/2009 at 9:26am by blah123blah
well if it was that terrible, imagine how the poor guy felt screwing an inexperienced and ungrateful bitch? are you sure you don't have some form of bestiality fetish?
#18 - On 11/07/2009 at 9:28am by Fluffy_homan
Not an FML. More like real life. Besides, it was your first time. It's never that great your first time.
omg people are pretty mean on here! but it's funny as shit! anyways, ur first time always sucks, but as u have sex more u will see sometimes it's awesome and some times it will suck more than the first time.
#21 - On 11/07/2009 at 9:59am by Bluemelodee
By the way everyone here is lashing out at her, I'd say none of you amount to much more than dinner fowl in any of your sexual performances.
I guarantee I can outfuck a chicken any day of the week.
#24 - On 11/07/2009 at 11:03am by bugmenotmofo
Good comeback. =) I'm getting sick of all these deragatory comments...
Honestly, if the sex is bad, then talk and try to find out what works. Not that I'd have experience or anything (I'm fifteen) but I'd imagine spending time feeling for my partner's body long before we ever have sex. Makes it easier and less awkward, and probably better too.
#76 - On 11/08/2009 at 6:41pm by monster_tamer
ROFLMAO @ #24
OP it was your first time FFS. What did you expect, to see god? Lulz.
#83 - On 11/10/2009 at 8:19am by waterynuggets
wow I hope he dumps your ass. the first time is not good especially for girls. I personally cried in pain for a while after but I didn't go run and post it on FML cause I knew it was gonna suck.
#27 - On 11/07/2009 at 11:34am by KarasuFyre
my 1st time was with my teacher, which is weird cuz I was homeschooled.
#28 - On 11/07/2009 at 11:37am by FlaminYawn
Hahahaha. Bet she taught you everything you know eh?
#80 - On 11/09/2009 at 7:25pm by usernamesarehard
Spended. Wow u aced english class didn't u?!? And how is she a slut, whore or a skank if it was her first time?!?!?! Seriously ppl? Wow.
LOL at you girl . i really don't think that its your first time. how would you know if a guy is good or not if you haven't experienced anything, its your first time . C'mon! Your story is pathetic . hah
#32 - On 11/07/2009 at 12:34pm by emilialoriana
you know what they say
smells like fish, tastes like chicken
he tasted chicken twice that night.
personally i wouldnt agree thiugh, just tastes like urine to me
Are you implying that you had a threesome with a chicken?
#37 - On 11/07/2009 at 1:00pm by Avenging_Angel
dudette.... first time u don't know his body AND yours. give it few months, try various positions.
and.... do u love each other?
guess you should have waited! then the chicken wouldn't have been the best part. of the evening ?
#41 - On 11/07/2009 at 1:23pm by majestydivine
Well maybe you should have taken some inatiave? Well anyway he did buy you dinner most of the time its not that romantic
i agree with cool steve. why do girls always taste like salty pee down there.
#47 - On 11/07/2009 at 2:53pm by ladiesman14
I can see it now
tonight I took my girlfriend out for a really romantic dinner. later we had sex. she then told me the chicken was better than I was.
jerk
#48 - On 11/07/2009 at 4:29pm by bubblylovr
my god! you guys are fucked! I complained about my first time, granted not in this forum but I bet no girl can say they didn't tell anyone about their first time. leave the poor girl alone and if it's fake, she was obviously trying to be funny. if not she is not a slut and everyone calling her that are probably jealous they can't get laid
#50 - On 11/07/2009 at 5:38pm by FML_FYL_88
Too bad you didn't have your first time with a guy who was more interested in sharing mutual pleasures rather than a boy who wanted to bust your cherry. As to the boys who told you rhe guy did you a favor, they do not know or appreciate the gift a woman gives when she trusts him enough to give him her virginity.
Practice. It gets better. And if it doesn't show improvement, talk to a professional. With him. And if that flops, DTMFA, b/c that's all you can do.
#56 - On 11/07/2009 at 7:41pm by FoundManyLemons
same thang here. i took my date to a sushi place. the raw tuna smelled and tasted better than my girls vag.
#57 - On 11/07/2009 at 8:23pm by ladiesman14
Shut up, newbie. It's never pleasurable the first few times. The tone of your FML was so prissy that I wish I could revoke your sex privileges..
agreed. you're being really rude. it's not like he's got a bad personality. he's probably nice and caring and respectful. THAT should be all that matters in the first place.
#64 - On 11/07/2009 at 10:18pm by kindness
Haha.. the way you worded that I thought for a second you having sex with a chicken was better than with him.. haha.. gross......
#61 - On 11/07/2009 at 9:36pm by wildcatman
wow you're slack. sounds like you have a nice guy. sex shouldn't matter. and you certainly shouldn't judge it on your first time. give it time for both of you to feel comfortable and get to know what feels good. you don't deserve to be treated well.
#63 - On 11/07/2009 at 10:16pm by kindness
That must be some bloody good chicken then.... or your just too high standard.
#65 - On 11/07/2009 at 10:46pm by Serial_Killer
For females, 1st time is never what u think it will be. Don't worry. You and your BF need to learn your body better. That takes patience, time, and experience :) Good luck and have fun safely experimenting ;) In the meantime, you can always eat more chicken :>
Wow, talk about being a bitch. Hardly any girls have a good first time, and the chance of it being his fault is ridiculously close to slim-to-none. Just put all the blame on him, why don't you? Who's to say he wasn't a little bit disappointed, too?
#67 - On 11/08/2009 at 1:10am by Jamin4Guitar
it's your first time. how would you know if it was good or not!?
#68 - On 11/08/2009 at 1:17am by dreamer892
You're being very rude and ungrateful. Almost no girls have a good first time. And you just put all the blame on him.
And to the people saying everyone dissing her are virgins, you're being just as stupid as she is. You're probably just defending her because you're just as much of a selfish bitch.
So if this fml is about your losing your virginity, how could you know how both the chicken and your boyfriend are in bed? Now that's a freaky threesome.
First times always suck you obviously don't know what "good" sex is yet. Practice makes perfect!
#74 - On 11/08/2009 at 2:25pm by xTheLittleLadx
Really????
ummmmm
thats quite ungrateful of you.
sure chicken is yummy but that's mean. i hope your boyfriend sees this FML story and dumps your ass
you're a virgin how the fuck would u know, maybe it's you who are shit
#78 - On 11/09/2009 at 2:13am by bored690
It DOES get better, first time= really awkward.
Just be grateful the chicken was good. It couldv'e been worse... the chicken and sex could've sucked.
Um how would you know?! You have nothing to compare it to!!! jeez! give him a break!
#88 - On 11/16/2009 at 1:52am by misfit3332
