Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9016) - you totally deserved it (33862)
On 08/24/2009 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by InTheDoghouse23 (man) - United States (New York)
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correct. put her back in her place. this is a man's world.
#18 - On 08/24/2009 at 8:55pm by worstpersonalive
FYL because breast groping is not socially acceptable yet
#30 - On 08/24/2009 at 9:11pm by trollin_fo_andre
#82. I also want a milkshake with them fries, aswell.
And, to #86! FYI, I don't know where you're hinting at. Okay, good day.
#89 - On 08/25/2009 at 1:08am by screwtaylor
I'm gettin hungry.
Either way, he coulda just said that he was checkin bra size.
"They're melons!"
#96 - On 08/25/2009 at 2:52am by Scorpitarrius
Ok, no, my joke wasn't meant to be that perverted. I was just saying that I wouldn't mind making a sandwich since you're a lady... I guess it doesn't make sense much; but it's because I'm being like "oh how cute, she wants a sandwich. I guess I'll make one'
@96
yeah that'll work...because people do that all the time right?
#129 - On 08/25/2009 at 2:31pm by canucksrule88
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YDI for grabbing something that isn't yours.
And, #1, you fail.
#3 - On 08/24/2009 at 8:34pm by heyitslain
^ you fail.
for the OP. you got a handful of boobs, probably the last time youll touch another pair in your marriage. I don't see an FML...
#4 - On 08/24/2009 at 8:34pm by jpotter1190
#4 fails.
"probably the last time youll touch another pair in your marriage."
"I don't see an FML..."
There's your FML right there. Sheesh.
#55 - On 08/24/2009 at 10:22pm by TheLetterZero
Well... Overall, yes his life sucks. but for this incident, his "once in a lifetime opportunity to touch his friends cocos" incident, it surely is not FML worthy.
Rephrasing it according would make it an fml. "Today, I touched my friend's wife's boobs by accident, only to realize they feel better than my wife's saggy empty banana peel cleavage... and I am stuck with her forever. FML"
#67 - On 08/24/2009 at 11:04pm by jpotter1190
How do you not realize it wasn't your wife? Unless you just spun quickly and grabbed the first boob you saw.
The way you said that made me laugh more than the FML did.
#80 - On 08/25/2009 at 12:02am by Escapist28
haha... just a case of mistaken identity..lol
you shoulda said that you wanted to go to the swingers bar
Before the scream and the slap, it sounds like you were enjoying yourself!
#11 - On 08/24/2009 at 8:46pm by moonlight_daze
where the other ladys boobs bigger? did you enjoy playing with them? even though you only had a little time to do so? :)
#16 - On 08/24/2009 at 8:52pm by glassisass
yeah agreed women are clearly supperior... at cooking and cleaning
#106 - On 08/25/2009 at 5:27am by tonyDlolli
excuse me?! cooking and cleaning? hmm, okay, it'll be funny until your future companion hears you say that, then you'll be alone having nothing to eat but the crap you're living in. then guess whose going to be laughing?
... depends on if she can keep her pie-hole shut or not. :]
She may have second thoughts. Just deserts and all.
Aaaaand you didn't notice this lady was most likely wearing a shirt/dress an entirely different color than your wife's clothing? YDI.
Were you just staring at her boobs all the way? How could you not recognize your wife's boobies? Next time when you're getting down on it, make sure you have the lights on.
#25 - On 08/24/2009 at 9:06pm by NorfolkDude
She probably secretly liked it.
Don't worry, OP. You and you wife's friend will soon have a 3-sum soon.
#26 - On 08/24/2009 at 9:08pm by screwtaylor
Your wife and the other husband left the room together and left the other wife there for you?
Yep, definitely a swingers' party
#31 - On 08/24/2009 at 9:13pm by allmidnighteyes
How do you defend yourself against a man with a dildo?
#41 - On 08/24/2009 at 9:29pm by allmidnighteyes
The best part was when he took out the black dildo and asked if it was more dangerous. Haha.
#48 - On 08/24/2009 at 10:12pm by screwtaylor
the only way this man can possibly become famous is if hes in a sex tape
#107 - On 08/25/2009 at 5:30am by tonyDlolli
wait, why was your wife in another room with another guy and what were they doing? if they were doing inappropriate things together or even small flirting then FYL. if not, then YDI big time with that slap lol ^_^
It happens. I was small back then when i mistook some stranger for my Dad in a restaurant. It happens, unknowingly. It is actually the sun conscious mind playing with you. But why should you be sad OP, you got to touch another pair of boobies for a change. :D
#44 - On 08/24/2009 at 9:33pm by metheonlyb
I so had this happen not to long ago except in our room over the sink and it was the butt grabbed a lil akward for a bit but every1 laughed over it no fml at all
ooohh, dang dude! i saw that one coming as i was reading.
#40 - On 08/24/2009 at 9:28pm by Kay_Ell_Dee
Sooooo romantic... How did you know that women like to be groped when there are guests in the next room?
Yep, every woman likes to have her breasts squeezed black and blue out of nowhere while guests are over. Oh well, his wife is probably screwing that woman's husband.
#120 - On 08/25/2009 at 10:39am by gummibehrs
well what i wanna know is what was your wife and the other guy doing in the other room??? hmm?
#47 - On 08/24/2009 at 10:11pm by epicwinmaster
Lol I like how you say you groped your wife like that's normal to do when you have guests over. YDI.
Men would be nothing without women? Try the other way around as well to avoid sounding like a sexist feminazi.
#98 - On 08/25/2009 at 3:00am by DeathShad0
Go learn what equality means, bigot.
And last time I checked, without women, men would still be in paradise in the company of God.
#103 - On 08/25/2009 at 4:21am by MaddogTotten
Because so many men would rather be in the company of God than in the company of women........? Don't reference the Bible on FML, come on now.
#112 - On 08/25/2009 at 9:08am by Underwhelmed
Your comment is so deliciously ironic. Way to call someone else a bigot and then say something so idiotically misogynistic about men still being in paradise without women.
#113 - On 08/25/2009 at 9:14am by Underwhelmed
wow...another bible whiner who takes scripture literally... did it ever, one time even, cross your mind that the stories in the bible are just that? or do you believe in giants, too? don't you think that pehaps the bible was written with the intent of, oh, i don't know, just giving us stories with morals that give us a kind of guidline on how to lead good lives? people like you are the reason why I turned away from Catholocism. believing in god and jesus is great, don't get me wrong, i envy those a little bit with that kind of faith, but honestly, the literal interpretation of this book needs to be ended. maybe just take away from it what they tried to convey. love your neighbor, respect your parents, don't kill people, don't take shit that isn't yours, and the world will be just peachy. stop acting like there was a garden of eden and that adam was hoppin around when god said, that dude needs a friend. took him, and was like, here bro, this wont hurt a bit, and rips a piece of his ribcage off and makes eve from that. really? is that really how you think the human race was started? come on now. that's just ridiculous.and how'd you get on the topic of god anyway? OP was tryin to cop a feel of his wife and wasn't payin attention, and grabbed his buddies wife's rack instead. how do you leap from that to god? and, also, for the record, it's MY world. or...it will be. so STFU.
#114 - On 08/25/2009 at 9:34am by _THE_MASTER_
1st it isn't a woman's world now (men still hold more of the important positions in the world making it a man's world if anyone's... also we don't need to have one sex in control, having an equal balance would suffice)
2nd women have definitely played a large role in the development of society and many other things, but don't you think that its just a bit sexist to say that men have done absolutely nothing without women. If you honestly believe that then your stupid. Also learn to spell its without not withoutjt and woman's not woman. You don't really put up a good case for women when you sound illiterate...
#124 - On 08/25/2009 at 12:00pm by myalteregoisaDr
stop being so sexist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the world NEEDS women people!!!!! we give birth. the human race would come to an end if we didnt reproduce. unless men can somehow find a way to get pregno and become gay so you can fall in love (if u want to) and reproduce, then good luck. but i doubt god is gonna do anything about it if u kill off every woman on the planet. and some people dont even believe in god. so... there.
#137 - On 08/25/2009 at 9:17pm by madZONE
#137 is right, we are all equal. sure men wouldn't be anything without women, in fact they would cease to exist if women weren't there to reproduce (not like that's their only purpose). however, women need men to reproduce, so it all balances out.
#138 - On 08/25/2009 at 9:42pm by fmlfmlfml15
#138 that is their only purpose. the reason that male bodies are so much different than females bodies is because the men were dessigned to get food while the female was created to watch over the household and get pregnant. Also at everyone that said men wouldn't last without women... If by some mysterious force every single woman on earth dissapeared we would cope. Science in this age is amazing. Pretty soon every couple would be two men and both could get pregnant. So fuck women.
#143 - On 08/26/2009 at 5:28am by tonyDlolli
You f**king asshole, what gives you the right to say women are worthless?! You must be some middle aged jackass who's still living in the past, Men and Women are equal in a lot of places now. You know what, Never mind the world surving if all the women left, the world would be BETTER off without complete pieces of shit like you!
wow #143, you sound like your wife left you and you havent gotten laid in months....no....years!!! And you're wrong, the world wouldn't be better off without women. the world would be better off without douchebags, much like yourself.
#146 - On 08/26/2009 at 9:53am by fmlfmlfml15
The beginning of the fml made it sound like it was gonna be good... then it turned into another one of those stupid ones.
YDI.
Why would you grope your wife while you had guests in the house?
#69 - On 08/24/2009 at 11:15pm by MiniatureMayhem
There's never a bad time to share a touch with your lover.
There's neer a good time to share a touch with someone elses lover!
Look at the bright side: you could have accidentally groped HIM!
#74 - On 08/24/2009 at 11:34pm by Paulspacefdot
There was a case in Australia where this burglar broke into a house after a party and had sex with the female occupants whilst their husbands lay beside them dead drunk. The women thot the burglar was their husbands/boyfriends.
#75 - On 08/24/2009 at 11:35pm by smoothcoffee
HOW the fuck do you manage to grab another womans tit? Did you see that what she was wearing was NOT what your wife was wearing that ENTIRE night? You pervert, I hope her husband cups you.
#77 - On 08/24/2009 at 11:48pm by carmen89
well it could turn into a free for all! He already started this soon to be orgy..why not!
#81 - On 08/25/2009 at 12:12am by carmen89
So... she was wearing exactly the same thing as your wife? Pretty big mistake.
HOW CAN SHE SLAP?
I'd hit her back. Fair is fair.
#83 - On 08/25/2009 at 12:41am by freudianego
Look before groping dude! Nice try attempting the boobage grab with company nearby, but fail on the execution. Thanks for the laugh, I appreciate it. Not a FYL, but funny anyway.
It was boobage grabbage; so not just an attempt, not an execution fail.
Reading comprehension fail by # 87
I guess you can always become swingers! now, that would be a good time!
#92 - On 08/25/2009 at 1:28am by shortielove
*shakes head*
Couldn't you recognise what your own wife was wearing? It would be grand to know that at least before trying to get at what's underneath. You horny bastard, you...
I have a hard time truly believing that you could really be that oblivious to whom you were groping... I think I have to call shenanigans on this one...
#100 - On 08/25/2009 at 3:01am by mikkel_natas
That's not an FML if it was the whole story. Chances are later you'll just laugh it off as a funny mistake.
#101 - On 08/25/2009 at 3:05am by hellFighter
At least you got to touch on some strange booby. FML should really read:
Today I fondled a pair of fun bags. As it turns out, they weren't even my wife's!
MyLifeIsAwesome.
#104 - On 08/25/2009 at 4:25am by MaddogTotten
Why is it that it's fine to refer to a woman's breasts as "fun bags" but everyone clicks "YDI" because someone referred to a man's testicles as "happy sacks"? That seems like a bit of a double standard...
Maybe she screamed and slapped him because she liked it? It doesn't specify where she slapped him, afterall.
Yum?
haha, jk.
And, no 108.
Go fuck yourself, because you're clearly not getting any.
#109 - On 08/25/2009 at 7:42am by xo_emily_xo
My question is why her husband and this guy's wife went off to the other room alone together.
#119 - On 08/25/2009 at 10:30am by gummibehrs
Numbers 77 thru 81: thank you for those self-indulgent novels, but why don't we keep these comments about the fml instead of personal dogma, shall we?!
this is one of the reasons we women like u to look at our FACES.
#136 - On 08/25/2009 at 9:04pm by madZONE
Boobs were created so men could play with them, it doesn't matter whose chest there on
#141 - On 08/25/2009 at 11:47pm by aabballdude
Hell i bet u were happy anyway lol dnt play it off, give urself a high five
#142 - On 08/26/2009 at 12:43am by Spaceman_G
awww eff her life for being such a stuck up bitch!! obviously u didnt mean to.... or DID u lol well it makes a funny story anyways lol
#148 - On 08/27/2009 at 12:00pm by vickerlynn
Pay attention to detail idiot......although I did find that shit funny as hell.
#150 - On 08/28/2009 at 11:29am by YamahaMama09
Today, the woman to whom I'm attached and the man she owns were invited over to another couple's house. The homeowners were standing together by the fridge while everyone conversed. My woman's husband and the hostess went into the next room as the host turned to put something in the fridge and my woman walked toward him. The host swiftly turned about and playfully groped me with his hands. My body's head screamed and it's hand slapped the host. FHL I don't know what the big deal was about - though his hands were a bit chilly from the fridge, they were sexy and felt nice. We'll definitely be visiting again soon if I have any say in the matter. Unfortunately, I don't - I'm a boob. FML
has anybody realised that the wife cheated on the husband so the only reason that he groped was because he thought that his wife might like a good time. his wife is the one who needs chastising
#157 - On 01/11/2010 at 12:54am by Flying_Man
