By SoniaLovesYou - 10/08/2012 12:18 - United States

Spicy
Today, I hooked up with the guy I've been seeing. Apparently he doesn't believe in condoms and took it off without my knowing; I didn't realize until after. When I asked him in horror why he would do such a thing, he said "I love you. I want you to have my child." It had been our second date. FML
I agree, your life sucks 78 472
You deserved it 39 310

SoniaLovesYou tells us more.

Wish I could say this WAS fake, but sadly it happened. Although it shouldn't matter, I will go ahead and mention that the guy is Mexican and most likely grew up in a culture that generally looks down on contraception; but it doesn't excuse what he did. Thanks to those of you expressing concern; I plan on taking the morning after pill and everything should be fine, but I am still intensely freaked over this. To those of you thinking I deserved it, I'll mention that I DID know the guy previous to this and quite liked him; this was a part of himself that he kept hidden until now. To those calling me a ****: I agree that sex has taken over our culture, especially with regard to young people, but having what I thought was safe sex with someone I knew and liked (and didn't realize was a psychopath!) does not mean that I have no self control. And Ichigoner, you're absolutely right - this guy and the "Be my baby's daddy!" girl would make a perfect couple, and probably end up making that octuplet mom look bad....

Top comments

I don't think she deserves it. If she wants to have sex with someone on a second date that's her perogative. She could have known him before. If I were her I'd tell him about the herepes they could share along with their child.

Women shouldn't be judged more harshly than men for having any kind of sex. Period. Now I'm going to go prove my point and make a statement with my boyfriend by tying him up and branding him.

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musikbox 0

oh also, I take 6 pills a day to control the symptoms, which don't always go away with meds, and I see four different doctors for my problem, so to have to see someone else and take another pill isn't exactly easy.

CL41RE 0

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And really, that's all that matters, anyways...

Sex ruins peoples lives? Are you saying you, as a result of sex have ruined your parent's lives? And I don't get where this conviction that 'sex is just for babies' comes from. For human beings, and a fair few closely related species, it is more than that. You may as well say 'food is just a fuel source', and that eating for enjoyment or socially is wrong.

iSmellNice 2

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A direct quote: "sex ruins people's lives". I think that implies that CL41RE is saying that it does, in most if not all circumstances. Irresponsible sex can and does ruin lives. The OP was trying to be safe and yet we're all insulting her for some reason.

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americayay 0

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SirKickz 0

What the hell is with you idiots saying ydi for having sex on a second date? Is that a bit early to hook up? Probably. But for the love of everything holy she does not DESERVE to possibly have her entire future completely ****** just cause she made a simple mistake. All of you are sitting up on such high horses you can't even see the ground. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised to find out that each of you has had a one night stand at one point anyway.

bexox 0

I agree that the pill is a good idea, but not everyone can take it. It can cause serious complications. Don't get me wrong, I take it myself, but it is not an option for every woman. She was trying to be safe with a condom, unaware what this guy was up to. Not to mention, the condom blocks STDs.

gctuba99 0

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biznib 0

hahahaha omfg so funny and so true

This should be one of those times when its right for the girl to call "rape" even though it wasn't really. I mean, there's some implicit contract that you'll only do it with a condom, and he took it off without your knowledge or permission, that's breaking the contract, and if you knew you wouldn't have consented, making it rape.

The irony is, you are probably right. I mean, it is the second date - and who the hell says she hasn't known him for awhile prior? Hell, I went on one date before I started 'dating' my current boyfriend, after knowing him a few months, and in less then a month we were fooling around - not having sex yet due to complications, but yeah. Does that make me a ***** too, then?

ps. your name looks awfully like a pathetic noob :P

Kiwi_Splash 0

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kewl92 0

now why would you say that? what's wrong with having sex on the second date if they both want it, both know what the deal is and take care of protection? obviously in this case, the guy turned out to be a ******* nut. but generally why shouldn't people have sex on the first or second or even third date if they want to?

#181: Clearly. She consented to sex provided he wore a condom. He took it off, making it sex she didn't consent to. I'm not one to cry rape, but, well, there's only so many ways of terming non-consensual sex.

i won't say ydi but... if you're going to sleep with someone on the second date.... you should be careful the fact that he said he loves you and wants you to have his baby doesn't really mean he loves you. a man who REALLY loves you will respect your decisions in the matter and won't force his sperm on you, when you clearly indicated you didn't want him to get you pregnant.

There's nothing wrong with having sex on the second date. I had sex with my girlfriend at the time on the third date and we're married now.

Yeah, Ive heard drunk booty calls turn into happy still-married grandparents

livexlaughxlove1 0

What's wrong with having sex on the second date? Well, the fact that even if you use protection or are on birth control pills or anything short of having your tubes tied, the man having a vasectomy, or the man/woman being infertile, there is still the chance of getting pregnant. Yes, the girl thought that the guy had on a condom but even with a condom she still could've gotten pregnant. She should be ready for the consequences of her actions. YDI.

Run to a clinic and get the goddamn morning after pill NOW.

Games4me 0

simple mistake? seems like a BIG decision to me. 2nd date? at least get to know the guy!

neptuneflytrap 0

This site is evidence that sex ruins people's lives? Based on that conclusion, I guess having a mom also ruins people's lives, since there are so many stories about inconsiderate mothers on this site. Come on. There are plenty of happy, sexually active people, who have not had their lives ruined by sex, and will never need to post on sites like this about it because their sex lives are safe, healthy and happy. When you come here, you're only seeing the bad. That doesn't mean the good is nonexistent.

xx_dRaMAQuEen_xx 0

YDI and it's totally ur own fault for having sex with him on the second date!!

Kilomech 8

Same, only with my husband. There is nothing wrong with having sex, on the first, second or third date. It does not make you a **** or a *****. Maybe she just likes sex? And she intended to use protection. It's not her fault he it off before he finished. It's not always easy to tell when someone's wearing one, especially if you're a little drunk.

VampireKiller59 0

why would u **** him on your second date

she aswell as you have the right to share her opinion soo stfu!! -Ł

blo0_starZz 0

Remember the times when sex was to share your love with somebody? Who the f*ck (besides the ****** & *****) have sex on their 2nd date & say I love you after 3 months? And people want HIV to go away. It never will if you keep these things up. Our society has diminished-.-

if its their second date why the HELL are they having sex already? he doesnt ****** love her after 1 time.

you had sex after the second date?? do u even know the bases??( YDI

OP you do had that coming having sex after the second date why not just pay a male hooker??(

MegamiKaosu 28

you all(but one person) never think that she could have known him before? OP.. morning after pill GO!! I knew my bf for a week before dating him I only knew him online for 8months when I met him in person the first night we had sex. We're still together almost 2 years now some things you need to know them in a different way such as dating to see or living together OP run if he's going to do this there's seriously some thing wrong. he could have been a creepy stalker or something

Unregistered 0

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onlycusimbored 0

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Seriously? How can OP not tell the difference between condom penis and no-condom penis?? Fake. If she was really concerned about this, she would have charged him with rape, since technically, if she agrees to sex with a condom and the condom is removed, then her consent is no longer valid, therefore, he just forced her to have unprotected sex. What should OP do now? Call the police or start filing for child support.

just so you know not all people can use birth control like my girlfriend for example has clotting issues

Jenx3FUH 0

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Jorddaaan 0

sex is good. as long as your safe. and she was TRYING to be, until the werido took OOFFFF the condom

cherlana32 0

you can't always tell the difference between a condom and no-condom, especially if there is a lot of...lubrication...going on down there.

"How can OP not tell the difference between condom penis and no-condom penis??" While having sex the condom broke. I couldnt freaken tell. I was enjoying the sex. My ass of a boyfriend never even told me it broke until I found out I was pregnant. When I told him he just said "Oh yeah, forgot to mention once a condom broke" You as a man might be able to feel the difference but women don't.

monicamischief 0

EVERYONE CALLING HER A **** IS ******* STUPID. i'm betting you are still in middle school. :/ and know nothing about sex, for that matter sex on a second date does not make someone a ****, it makes them pretty damn ******* NORMAL. there is nothing wrong with sex on a second date you need to know if you are sexually compatible early on anyway :/ sex is not DIRTY or GROSS or any of those things there is NO REASON to wait and have sex. it is not SPECIAL. sex is just sex. it's like eating cake, a treat, sure, but there's no ******* reason to wait until your wedding night to do it. : /

twist_n_shout 0

"it is not SPECIAL. sex is just sex." - Maybe if you didn't think that having sex on the second date is perfectly normal, you'd find it a littl more special. You "NEED" to know if you are sexually compatible??? Well I think knowing whether or not you are compatible in terms your views on love, children, and how serious of a relationship you are looking for is a little more important.

I'm pretty sure whether or not she knew him prior to dating him IS relevant - most if not all of the assholes here that scream YDI for sleeping with him so early on claim the fact that she's a ***** because she doesn't know the guy - and knowing him prior to even dating, I would think, would toss that bullshit reasoning out the window.

Gillypants 3

actually, knowing whether or not you are sexually compatible is VERY important to a relationship. If the sex sucks, theres ALWAYS going to be a sense of being unfulfilled, and no matter how many kids you have, or what kind of job, or what other things you do together, you're never going to be truly happy. Tons of couples end up getting divorced because they waited to have sex until they were married, and it sucks, and they are unhappy, and they only stay together for a year or two because they can't take it anymore. Their needs aren't being met.

twist_n_shout 0

But there are even more couples out there who get divorced because they were so busy finding out their sexual compatibility, they didn't realize they were incompatible in terms of their fundamental beliefs and values!

StarCutie83 0

Not every girl can be on the pill. I can't because I have a family history of it causing cancer in my family. Like the OP I stick to condoms when I sleep with a guy.

YDI. Sex on the second date? Also I am in jr. High and sex is supposed to be with someone you love and trust, not with some guy you just started dating. Many people post about sex on here and say that they've been dating for about two years. But the second date? Come on OP you should know better.

tantanpanda 26

Why is everyone on this thread **** shaming? Apparently hooking up is ok but sex on the second date is wrong. **** off and go make out with your right hand or something

catladymar 0

Maybe it was her first time? It can hurt like hell. I know I wouldn't know the difference.

Wish I could say this WAS fake, but sadly it happened. Although it shouldn't matter, I will go ahead and mention that the guy is Mexican and most likely grew up in a culture that generally looks down on contraception; but it doesn't excuse what he did. Thanks to those of you expressing concern; I plan on taking the morning after pill and everything should be fine, but I am still intensely freaked over this. To those of you thinking I deserved it, I'll mention that I DID know the guy previous to this and quite liked him; this was a part of himself that he kept hidden until now. To those calling me a ****: I agree that sex has taken over our culture, especially with regard to young people, but having what I thought was safe sex with someone I knew and liked (and didn't realize was a psychopath!) does not mean that I have no self control. And Ichigoner, you're absolutely right - this guy and the "Be my baby's daddy!" girl would make a perfect couple, and probably end up making that octuplet mom look bad....

jrl585 0

im srry for calling you a **** i didnt read this comment before hand aand thought you barly knew him

I love that you clarified the situation! I wasn't going to call you a **** or anything, you're 20, you're old enough to have sex with whomever and whenevr you want. You were trying to be safe and he screwed it up. But I'm glad you threw this justification in the face face of all the "****"-calling people! I hate when people just jump to conclusions. And you know how to spell correctly and use good grammar...I LOVE YOU for that ;) Good for you for taking the morning after pill, too! That shows responsibilty...

While I will retract my statement about you getting crabs, I still think you kind of deserved it for not being on the pill if you're going to have sex with a guy who isn't your bf. and by deserved it i mean deserve the freak out, not potentially getting preggers

It isn't like she wasn't using protection. The @$$hole just removed it. The pill doesn't always work and women have other hormonal side affects with birth control. It's her body and she could do what she wants. He is the sh!thead for not asking if it was ok and making the decision to remove the condom without consulting her first.

bexox 0

Is it weird that I pictured the guy as a latino? Maybe I just know my cultures well. Or maybe I'm psychic! :D

lalalove_x3 0

or maybe you're just an idiot for automatically assuming that he's latino when she never specifies if he is.

lokiitababii69 19

i had a similar experiance with my daughters father (who is mexican too... lol) but it was the 3rd time we ever had sex.... i had made him wait 4months before doing anything witth him...

Sorry this had to happen to you. Sad how crazy some people can be sometimes. Hope things work out for ya

supercatgirl 0

so what happends when you can't be on teh pill because ti give you blood clots?

Don't mind the morons who call you a ****. This is 2017, you're free to have sex whenever you want and with whoever you want. If these people disapprove, they can go live with the Amish. It's great you took the morning after pill, but I would also get checked out for STDs. Chances are it's not the first time he pulls that stunt.

kelardy 11

It's called 'Stelthing' when a guy removes the condom without the knowledge of the other. The government in some states is looking to get it made illegal and considered rape as some males go around knocking people up on purpose using this. I hope that the 'not believing' in condoms isn't the only thing he was hiding and you should keep an eye on your health

kellster 2

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Curtieeeez 0

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jinxers123 8

Are you ******* retarded or just completely rude?

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97mailo 17

I can't I was having sex with my wife and the condom broke. We didn't notice until we were done.