Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33307) - you totally deserved it (4842)
On 08/07/2009 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
So is "having sex" like actual penetration? Cuz technically "cock-blocked" means you didn't get any at all, but you said you were already having sex so...
This FML confuses me, but your BF is an idiot. TiVo the fucking show and have sex with your girl. You should totally dump him, I hate all these FML's where people stop having sex to watch a stupid show, I mean what is wrong with you people? He must be gay.
#12 - On 08/07/2009 at 2:14pm by genius_man16
#12 is a moron. No one in their right mind would TiVo shark week if they could be watching it right now!
#27 - On 08/07/2009 at 2:36pm by littlegolferboy
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
YDI for dating a guy with a television.
#38 - On 08/07/2009 at 3:01pm by epicFAIL_Sometim
You would? Really? Having sex is just that boring now, huh? What has this world come to. And to the OP, that sux, maybe you need to be better.
#53 - On 08/07/2009 at 3:34pm by arsewipe92
I would do the same. NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTENT THAN SHARK WEEK!
#78 - On 08/07/2009 at 4:42pm by USMC_Marine
I like how sex is rated so highly on the to do list. Honestly shark week is bad ass. You can have sex any time, also i believe its twat blocked. Guys get cock blocked, ladies get twat blocked.
Well, to get cock blocked you have to have a cock so either he is gay or someone is just dumb :/
#100 - On 08/07/2009 at 6:21pm by ElysianPirate
hey OP, just so you know, cock-block does not work in that direction. Only males can get cock-blocked, though i believe the appropriate term used here would be 'twat-swatted' (copyright dane cook?).
#109 - On 08/07/2009 at 8:20pm by strangersdk
Maybe OP meant the TV blocked his cock from entering her vagina.
Also, fur friday.
#114 - On 08/07/2009 at 9:06pm by ReasonsToFly
i totatally agree. all the people on fml are like oh i didnt get to hav sex cuz of this...like who cares. and yea shark week is the best
#135 - On 08/08/2009 at 12:24am by sockmonkey560
YDI for not giving him head while he watches Shark Week. then everyone would be happy.
fool, i should have watched more shark week i am sad
I GET ASS!
Actually, I'm pretty sure you can only get cock-blocked if you have a cock...A women would be pussy-blocked. As in, "I was totally going to get laid last night, but Shark Week pussy-blocked me."
Similarly, straight men aren't cock teases, they're pussy teases, etc.
#186 - On 08/10/2009 at 11:20am by Black_noise09
@ #12 - I hope to god that was sarcasm, because why would you even think about tv while you're GETTING LAID? Stupid people need to get their priorities straight xD
#204 - On 02/03/2010 at 4:24am by winterharte
Lol, thats pretty damn funny.
Also, im surprised that the first two people that posted comments didn't type "heh heh FIRST"
LMFAO. Yes, Shark Week is something no normal person could resist. I feel bad for you though, FYL.
#5 - On 08/07/2009 at 2:08pm by _BedSpread
I thought only guys got cock-blocked... or is it actually a term for both genders? I guess you could also be gay it doesn't say you're female.
Either way, that's hilarious :) Shark week!
#6 - On 08/07/2009 at 2:08pm by uneekfreak16
ya honestly he said that the op could be gay so calm down crazy
#136 - On 08/08/2009 at 12:25am by sockmonkey560
At least it wasn't the Disney channel. Besides, shark week is awesome. And if you are a woman, the term you're looking for is "twat blocked".
I read this before on FML.
So you're not the only one :D Don't feel bad.
#9 - On 08/07/2009 at 2:10pm by Sidneh
Sex - anytime, Shark week - WEEK!
Tell him tonight you will have triple the make up sex? XD!
#11 - On 08/07/2009 at 2:13pm by ChocolatexGames
I could swear I've read this somewhere before.
Also, it's really similar to this one: http://www.fmylife.com/intimacy/887533
Shark Week is more important than breathing.
YDI for trying to get some during the holy week.
#48 - On 08/07/2009 at 3:17pm by imajinethat
What is he a sausage smuggler? Drop that no good piece of shit. I'll Bang you, (while recording the shark week episode of course).
Wow, 18 comments without homophobia bursting out... FML is growing up :)
#21 - On 08/07/2009 at 2:24pm by IambecomeRAWR
No offense....but Shark Week wins.
If I were in your situation, my response would have been "HOLY SHIT HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN!?"
you should of just suggested doggy style that way you could both enjoy shark week and sex at the same time
#28 - On 08/07/2009 at 2:36pm by Juggalokid420
same here. I don't see the point in it. It is cool for about 30 seconds, maybe 2 minutes if you are interested in sharks.
#131 - On 08/07/2009 at 11:08pm by Pethegreat
Actually, shark fans watch all week...Especially if you're in my shoes, where you are interning on shark research. I'm getting paid to watch Shark Week!
#133 - On 08/07/2009 at 11:25pm by sharkeyfin
not so much hate it, but just don't get the point of it. just making sharks look threatening when they aren't. colbert covered it well the other day.
sorry but i call bull crap on this one, nobody would run out in the middle of sex for a tv program.
#33 - On 08/07/2009 at 2:41pm by xxstealthxx
or to make chocolate chip cookies
or because they heard the ice cream van
or to go make a pizza................
"You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel"
For you..
it's now:
"You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals I got cockblocked by Shark Week on the Discovery Channel"
Ha.
Wow.
#46 - On 08/07/2009 at 3:13pm by Phil_Courtney
Unless you are also a man I don't think you understand the meaning of "cock blocking". If you don't have a cock, it can't be blocked. :|
Also, you were already having sex...so you weren't really "cock blocked" anyway.
I would totally prefer Shark Week if I was into that kind of thing. You can have sex anytime, you can't watch Shark Week any time!
Shark Week is LAME.
Now, if How It's Made was on, I'd be all over that shit.
#55 - On 08/07/2009 at 3:40pm by tempaccount
Or Modern Marvels, that show is the shit.
(i still wouldn't run out on sex tho)
#85 - On 08/07/2009 at 5:11pm by genius_man16
Assuming you're not gay, OP, you were not "cock-blocked" (only guys are cock-blocked), you were "twat-swatted". FYL
And to all of the people saying you can't be cock-blocked once you're having sex, I disagree. Have you seen Superbad? McLovin was already having sex when the cops came in and they said they were sad that they cock-blocked him. "We should be guiding his cock, not blocking it."
1st! 2nd! 3rd! 4th! 5th! 6th! 7th! 8th! 9th! 10th! 11th! 12th! 13th! 14th! 15th! 16th! 17th! 18th! 19th! 20th! 21th!
YDI for not have sex.
First of all, you could fuck all you want. Second of all, shark week is only one week so stop fucking and watch shark week!! I would do that with my gf
Um...
Is your boyfriend aware that shark week shows only run at night? It's kind of stupid to stop having sex 8 hours (going off the 11am posting time) before any shark week shows are actually on. I don't even think they run repeats until the mid-afternoon.
#64 - On 08/07/2009 at 4:07pm by philly8608
Nope, sorry.
Take a look at the DSC schedule. Between 2AM and 4PM EST there was nothing on for shark week.
#86 - On 08/07/2009 at 5:19pm by philly8608
Post time =/= actual time. Honestly probably happened anytime this week. (YDI, because it's Shark Week and apparently you can't keep your BF's attention at all.)
#93 - On 08/07/2009 at 6:05pm by LemonFairy
The issue is that the OP said that 'today' is Friday. Hence my original statement that it wasn't on at the time, because only between 12-3am would anything had been on (re-runs from Thursday). So either the OP's bf is an idiot or they had to wait a few hours for sex (which is not an FML IMO).
#99 - On 08/07/2009 at 6:20pm by philly8608
The OP could have been a real boring partner. Like the dames who just lay back and spread their legs... boring. TV trumps that after a while
#144 - On 08/08/2009 at 1:43am by Gadget3440
You don't mess around with Shark Week. Although this is the reason they have DVRs.
#68 - On 08/07/2009 at 4:17pm by mariposa25
if ur a girl its not cock blocking its twat swatting get it right, that is unless both parties are gay then nevermind
#70 - On 08/07/2009 at 4:22pm by rmpg14
Geez, there are so many FMLs like this.
You should have said "it's the day you have sex with me". :D
#71 - On 08/07/2009 at 4:23pm by kennythedude
sex isnt that romantic for him i guess ... atleast having sex with you
#73 - On 08/07/2009 at 4:24pm by sjbartholome
My friend told me that he was upset I ignored his IM because I got distracted by Shark Week.
Shark Week > All. End of story.
Shark Week sucks!!!! it's the same shit year after year and it's not the interesting. people just like it because other people like it.
besides, even when it's not shark week there are still tons of shark programs on the Discovery Channel anyways.
hop off Shark Week's dick everybody, SHIT!
#83 - On 08/07/2009 at 5:07pm by doicha27
Damn...FML for missing Shark Week. And FYL for not recording it for him.
#90 - On 08/07/2009 at 5:40pm by PsychoMiko
It's Shark Week! FYL for missing it! (I missed it at camp. D:)
#91 - On 08/07/2009 at 6:00pm by LemonFairy
"Twat Swatting". Really? That's such an idiotic term. And it's totally offensive. And swatting is a completely different definition than blocking. Therefore, both cock blocking and twat swatting are different in meaning. Cock blocking refers to both sexes, don't genderize everything.
OP, I'm sorry. Get back at him next time he is enjoying sex with you
#94 - On 08/07/2009 at 6:07pm by Liz89
Hahahahaha....that's me laughing at your immature reply to me.
I am not "derranged." look up what deranged means before you try to
use it for an insult towards what I said.
I was merely stating a simple argument. If you couldn't understand it that's not my fault.
#124 - On 08/07/2009 at 9:56pm by Liz89
No, i was writing that to some1 who wrote me soemthing totally stupid, my friend just told me that he erased or w/e his comment so it looks like i wrote to myself.
#166 - On 08/08/2009 at 12:31pm by Liz89
listen...shark week is serious me and my husband have been watching shark week at night instead of having sex...yeah it's that serious
No...what we need is Chuck Norris hosting Shark Week
and, as earlier noted, OP should be doing it doggy style so as to bask in the holiness and not have the boyfriend violate Man Law by missing Shark Week.
Yes, Man Law should be amended to require the viewing of Shark Week in entirety on the largest television you can find.
Stop whining, I think seeing miniature dogs survive shark attacks is WAY better then what ever you were doing. Your b/f is a wise man.
#104 - On 08/07/2009 at 7:53pm by frannytrois64
I wouldd do it 2 its the best week of t outta the year
#107 - On 08/07/2009 at 8:15pm by jeremyscurto
why was he distracted to ask what day of the week it was? somebody must be lacking...
#108 - On 08/07/2009 at 8:19pm by deliapearl
Dude, shark week is badass. Plus you must really suck in the sack if your boyfriend stops to ask what day of the week it is.
#110 - On 08/07/2009 at 8:26pm by FordPrefect
You must be a dead fish in the sack if he'd rather watch sharks on TV. BTW, Sharks Week is actually awesome TV.
Quick Question: Doesen't "Cock Blocked" only constitute men being blocked?
Or is it usable for each?
cock blocked only works for guys. if you're a chick I guess you'd be...pussy blocked. However you could be a gay man with a bf, in which case thats cool and cock blocked would be appropriate.
#118 - On 08/07/2009 at 9:25pm by FMLfangirl89
YDI,For forgetting to remind him about shark week.Stupid bitch.
#121 - On 08/07/2009 at 9:32pm by xfrankenstienx
You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals
So lets do it like they do it on the discovery channel
YDI for not knowing it was shark week
#122 - On 08/07/2009 at 9:41pm by AnimeAddict
what's with all the cock-blocking distractions on this website? the first one was funny so everyone else was feeding off of it and creating similar stories. wow people, have some imagination!
#123 - On 08/07/2009 at 9:43pm by triplethreat13
Shark Week is way more important than you. I've watched a lot of it.
#125 - On 08/07/2009 at 10:16pm by ericalew_xo
Today, I went on fmylife.com to read about funny stories of how people ruined their lives. Instead, I got a bunch of sex fail stories. FML
after havin sex everyday, maybe 4 times a day, you got tired and anything else becomes more interesting
I get cock blocked all the time by my b/f's stupid obsession with Final Fantasy Online. Seriously. I don't get why that's better than sex. I even tried playing the game. It's terrible. The graphics suck
#130 - On 08/07/2009 at 11:05pm by wickedgrl13
haha shark week's my favorite week of the year haha!
#134 - On 08/08/2009 at 12:21am by sockmonkey560
You Cant Deny Shark WEEK!!!! It only comes on once a year!
not a good deal for you though
#139 - On 08/08/2009 at 12:39am by holybeans
I'm with that guy man. Why do it with a girl who's just gonna dump you for some meathead later?
I mean you could be watching shows about people getting eaten by sharks! Seriously this guy has his priorities straight.
#143 - On 08/08/2009 at 1:23am by tastychainsaws
Hate to break it to ya, but he's lost interest in you. It'd be one thing if y'all hadn't started the actual intercourse yet and he remembered about his show, but to pull out during mid-thrust? No bueno.
damnnnnn, shark week was awesome. be happy he didnt miss it XD and maybe you can get some laterrrr
#160 - On 08/08/2009 at 9:04am by TheUnthinkable
aha! i laughed sooo hard, one of the best fml's .. sorry btw that realllyyyy sucks (:
#168 - On 08/08/2009 at 1:13pm by accidentprone09
O GOD YOU MISSED HAVING SEX THIS ONE TIME. THAT IS SO TERRIBLE BECAUSE YOU WILL NEVER HAVE THE CHANCE TO HAVE SEX AGAIN. *sarcasm*
#170 - On 08/08/2009 at 3:04pm by spaceranger33
FYL for having a boyfriend who thinks sharks are scary. everyone knows jellyfish are the scariest predators of the ocean
#172 - On 08/08/2009 at 3:34pm by elchapin562
Nobody said that the BF thinks sharks are scary.
(Although, I am terrified of both. HMM?!)
#174 - On 08/08/2009 at 7:35pm by capital_seven
Shark Week is kind of a big deal, so get over yourself.
#176 - On 08/09/2009 at 4:41am by theinsomniac
uh shark week is the shit. it's the greatest week in entertainment and a well celebrated tradition among men.
#178 - On 08/09/2009 at 1:34pm by maximumoverdrive
tivo my friend tivo ps i could care less if i spelled tivo wrong
#184 - On 08/10/2009 at 11:14am by Richieq212
actually... since you're a girl i believe the correct term is 'box-locked'.
#190 - On 08/13/2009 at 11:42am by squigglewiggle
How do you all know the OP is a she? It could be a gay man.
#191 - On 08/14/2009 at 6:01am by Dale_xD
Ok I'm with the boyfriend on this one. Shark Week is pretty awsome...
#192 - On 08/15/2009 at 12:26am by TrevorMTopham
At least it was something educational instead of The Simpson or something.
#193 - On 08/18/2009 at 4:40pm by Poisonphaerie
BOO-YAH! SHARK WEEK FUCKING RULES!! there's pretty much nothing I wouldn't drop like a brick for shark week... it's better than bear week (and I didn't even go to school all bear week)...
#199 - On 11/10/2009 at 6:53am by Danny_Cannibal
at least he didn't stop and say agh it's brunos last week in theaters
lol
#202 - On 01/04/2010 at 3:20am by OHSchowder
