Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my friend sent me a link to a porn video. The guy in it was my boyfriend, the girl in it wasn't me, but they were in my bed. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, I found a link to a porn website on my boyfriend's computer. A bit jealous, I asked why it was there. He told me that he thought thinking of me might get boring. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML
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Top comments
iLIAMMM 0
I hope you made him a sandwich.
ihatewankers 0
Next time he tells you he's horny, send him a link to "2 girls 1 cup", then tell him to make his own ******* sandwich.
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Comments (331)
iLIAMMM 0
I hope you made him a sandwich.
rw4rf1s 0
Agreed. That man sounds like he needs a sandwich.
homedoggieo 0
And not just any sandwich.
Mattfail 0
Stop being a little **** and make him a sandwhich. That's all your good for
pyroanarchist23 0
shoulda got him the sandvich
Dmaster22 0
if you didnt make him a sandwich he should beat you up again
Mosswine 2
LOL this is totally epic. I hope you made him a nice juicy sandwich later!!
NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM 0
Best #1 post ever. Oh and if you make him that sandwich, he might even let you suck his dick after.
brie3 0
i wonder if i'm the only girl that agrees with this thread lol
mcsnelly 5
I really, really hope not....
Jim9349 10
I hope he got his sandwich....
8trickster8 0
You'd better not be reading these replies when you could be making him a sandwich right now.
Sawadee 0
give him a **** meat sandwich
jook_fml 0
You damn well better have made that sandwich.
nikktherocker 0
a cockmeat sandwich? XD Your bf is hilarious, learn to appreciate his sense of humor.
silly_kate 0
lol, your bf is funny as hell! 192: you're not alone! :D
daniisme 0
look on the bright side... he's going to put some white sticky substance on it... I'd like some mayo on my sandwich too pls! x]
redsox112 0
women need to stay in the kitchen
666Broghan666 0
Wow, only 1 or 2 replies without the word or another spelling of the word "sandwich". Unless I'm wrong.
lovemysnubber 0
guy with a sense of humor I'd lmao if that happened to me
karmaSUCKS321453 0
EPIC.
anthaz_fml 0
while you're at it, make me a sandwich.
Daemonknight 0
telling a woman to make you a sandwich or get back in the kitchen stopped being funny years ago. retards. makes you so cool that you disrespect women. one of two things are true... A. you can't get laid, or B. your woman is cheating on you right now.
MetalHead93GB 0
and you should grow some balls on ur chin seeing as ur forhead is taken by a bellend and go make me a sandwich... no... make that 2 sammiches !
hellryu 20
Get a sense of humor.
awthmt 6
A sandwich made with jellyfish jelly..
arsenicalhumor 30
#207 I do believe that means that OP would need the certain physical requirements to give him that. But he could always give her one.
slutsstud 0
Owned! He's funny!
blargity 0
#3 yeah that is really funny but he should probably make it himself i wonder if he believes rule 34
nuked 0
Believes? It's a RULE, it's a FACT!
SaintJimmy 0
Rule 34 is positively undeniable. All other rules can be questioned, but #34 is FACT!
Jaucet 0
except for Yotsuba girl. She's off limits.
IamSpartacus 0
Well you can't Rule 34, Rule 34...
mariposa25 0
It's already happened.
smashyy 0
Haha, he's hilarious. OP: I love your boyfriend, haha
connalH 0
ahahahahah WIN! He's either insane or really hungry
Oryx1988 1
ha ha ha! wat a legend!!!
bhatia26 0
rofl ur bf is win
hobrahtakeiteasy 0
LOL agreed
HighStakes 0
youtube.com/sandwich-making Oh, that must be a **** site!
smiller0789 3
That's totally something my boyfriend would do XD
Teejay123 0
He's a keeper
banksy234 0
what? that's just really sweet and funny!
hbkfitz2 0
that's just awesome he=win
cabernet 0
hahaha, def try that
MK1029 0
What are you, retarded? Her boyfriend is probably a /b/tard. Any self respecting /b/tard would be able to tell if she was sending him a link to that. Plus, 2girls1cup is HILARIOUS. I don't why anyone would think that it's "disgusting" or whatever. Sure, I would HATE to have shit in my mouth but watching other people with shit in their mouth almost made me die laughing (literally, I have asthma =[ )
PTSG 0
Rules 1 & 2, newfag
SystemBurn 0
Rules 1 & 2 only applies to raids newfag
PTSG 0
You sir, are and idiot :)
GoodbyeToSleep 0
Deli fetish FTW!