Intimacy: Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends...

By Anonymous - 17/06/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 926

You deserved it 4 695

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Same thing different taste

By DaoOfPow - 23/05/2015 07:51 - United States - Danbury

Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 274

You deserved it 3 219

By Anonymous - 28/09/2011 14:04 - United States

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 700

You deserved it 6 423

By Bechara - 13/06/2011 09:11 - Pakistan

Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 549

You deserved it 4 513

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 105

By Anonymous - 18/06/2009 07:17 - United States

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 185

You deserved it 119 343

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 673

You deserved it 121

By peacock_mina19 - 11/02/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 982

You deserved it 27 160

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 16:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 361

You deserved it 2 698

By feartheend511 - 19/08/2010 15:48 - United States

Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 147

You deserved it 3 652

By Anonymous - 09/05/2014 23:57 - United States - Akron

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 431

You deserved it 4 140

Peroxide 3

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:32

That shit is BANANAS!

akiro525 3

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:38

who wouldn't?

Comments

cucuto89 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:25

Cool Story BRo

AUT_student 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 23:12

shouldn't this go to that my life is great website?? You friends must love you....a MILF wanting to do Gwen Stefani....FTW FTW FTW FTW!!!! How can this in ANY way be a bad thing??

rallets 22

Thursday 18 June 2009 6:03

thats a FAIL youre doing it wrong

kmknotek 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 4:56

i would **** gwen stefani tooo....

FPsLife 5

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:28

*Searches frantically for who cares button* At least she wasn't coming on to you. ... or was that what you wanted?

lottofee 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:30

so what?

genius_man16 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 15:32

^^ My care cup is so empty it's a ******* black hole

heyyou1203 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 20:27

exactly. How does this f your life? So maybe your mom embarrassed u in front of ppl? Big deal.

Pirate_argh 6

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:31

Agree with #2. Sorry, but my care-o-meter just hit ZERO

Peroxide 3

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:32

That shit is BANANAS!

dinosaursmoo 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 19:36

Bahahah XD You just made my day.

Frolly_fml 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:35

Cool mom.

starflake 3

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:38

Awh, your Mom is awesome!

akiro525 3

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:38

who wouldn't?

crystalbluewolf 3

Wednesday 10 August 2011 19:34

yeah at least she picked someone of good taste.

xX_LilSammie_Xx 4

Friday 23 December 2011 0:30

My thoughts exactly -Who wouldn't.

AntiChrist7 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:40

if she bangs GS, tape it and put it online.

Aray 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:41

oh my god that's ****** hahaha!

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The Top

Today, I was crying after a bad day at work. As I walked down the street, a young boy in a minivan tried to get my attention. He kept saying, "Hi, hi, please wave!" in a sad voice. When I politely waved at him, I saw a group of kids in the van giggling hysterically and taking pictures of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 284

You deserved it 285

Today, it's been a week since my mother died. She had no life insurance and was over $20,000 in debt, plus her hospital/funeral bills. My father wants nothing to do with me as she was a one night stand and he never paid child support. I'm behind on rent and bills because I'm injured from work. Thanks for nothing, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 140

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 40 229

You deserved it 3 597

Today, I tried to prove a point to my six-year-old son who refuses to drink water from the kitchen sink in favor of from the bathroom faucet. I filled up two cups, one with the kitchen water and another with the bathroom water, thinking he wouldn’t tell the difference. He gagged on the kitchen water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 952

Today, I’m french and am studying in Japan. One of my teachers, passionate about France, opened a magazine about French bread and asked me if it tasted good. I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 118

Today, I’ve been getting sexy messages from an unknown number. First I told her to stop multiple times, then I blocked her. I can only assume that she changed her number and managed to find me and message me again. My girlfriend saw the messages and told me flatly “It’s over.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 988

You deserved it 214

Today, I tried to give my mom a hug, but she pushed me away and yelled at me for trying to hug her while she’s angry. When I asked how I was supposed to know, she replied, “Read my fucking body language, idiot!” I’m diagnosed autistic and she knows it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 209

You deserved it 118

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend kept starting fights with me, and why my best friend kept telling me to break up with him. It was so they could turn their affair into a proper relationship, then twist it around to make me look like a bitch for dumping him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 622

You deserved it 4 836

Same thing different taste

Thanks mom

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