Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Come on Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams, unfortunately she called me by my ex-bestfriend's name. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
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Top comments
MrPortalFan 21
You'd think a quote like that would inspire you to finish faster.
Catkam623 27
I wish If had my hype man on my first time maybe he coulda pushed me to longer than 10 seconds
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Comments (88)
MrPortalFan 21
You'd think a quote like that would inspire you to finish faster.
IloveToLaugh143 21
"Don't give up, Nicolas! Let it all out!"
patrickalamo 47
Just like laundry.. When it's a small load do it by hand...
GuiLD15 7
Who does that?
BeingAStrawberry 3
Seems like the author already lived this scene in french and after a few years he's lived it in english... What a coincidence !
bobbyguy 17
That's awkward
JesterJosh 5
Not awkward enough to stop.
JesterJosh 5
Actually, after thinking about it more, that probably would throw me off too. I always have the TV going or music or something in the background. Then you won't be having the neighbor kill the mood.
Catkam623 27
I wish If had my hype man on my first time maybe he coulda pushed me to longer than 10 seconds
onlychildFTW 33
Yeah so true. 1st times are rarely awesome like people make it sound.
Bilbo_Swaggins 5
wow
ChristianH39 30
You are so incredibly eloquent.
Bilbo_Swaggins 5
yep I love me some World of Warcraft
Wimoweh 10
19, what can you expect from a person who has swaggins in their name?
Vnzou22 9
Your neighbor has impecable timing.
Sandsh8rk 36
Come on, he was only trying to cheer you on! Everyone needs a little bit of encouragement :D
Indianboy9321 25
Oh no! You couldn't even finish in the nick of time!
Pancakes017 19
Maybe he was actually cheering for you and his son was just an excuse.
olpally 32
Rob Schneider in the waterboy: "YOU CAN DO IT, YOU CAN DO IT ALL NIGHT LONG!" Hahaha
glabberfasted 16
Now, Rob Schneider is... A carrot!
Ihavegas 22
rated pg13
thatnucca 36
It wasn't meant to happen then... That would have urged me to put my best stroke in... Try again next time with more conviction...
allie2590 31
Well, stroking is all he'll be doing if he can't finish!