Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11446) - you totally deserved it (59659)
On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)
as if you're any more put out than the 5-year boyfriend who had to be reminded that you took her virginity, you silly douche
#5 - On 05/20/2009 at 6:08am by harlehatschi
I worship this man for comparing taking a girls virginity over a 100 dollar phone.
After all, Sex is waaaaay more important then distance communication ;)
#8 - On 05/20/2009 at 6:14am by GloomySkyz
Still, that's just an epic win, imho.
She tried to put you down, but instead she got owned. High five, man!
haha thats not an FML thats an AWESOME!! unless afterwards you got the shit kicked outta you by her boyfriend.... im amazed that you had the balls to say that. good job.
I'm just confused were you just sitting there the whole time thinking about that? It kinda seems like you're not over her, so hanging out with her and her new boyfriend was stupid. And I don't think this is an FML it's an FHL (f his life).
#13 - On 05/20/2009 at 6:27am by redmusketeer
omg. This is awesome. Not an fml. If anyone's its your ex's fml.
#14 - On 05/20/2009 at 6:33am by jazminbliss
very cool. if i were the ex, i would've socked you straight in your nose but because idk him, good job on your part :)
#32 - On 05/20/2009 at 7:29am by loveyababe
I think this is kind of amazing, actually. Those kinds of things hardly ever work but you put it into a situtation where it did. Niceee, haha.
k u should not be upset cuz that was pretty epic
u should have topped it off with an EAT IT! to her bf hahha
Lmao that's awesome!
i agree with #28 this needs an Epic Win button
you have acheived Hero status:)
#39 - On 05/20/2009 at 7:58am by LoveToSmile101
That may be the funniest thing I've ever read on this site. You're my hero.
/Hacks fmylife.com, installs Epic Win button, clicks 23942575543432323 times.
#40 - On 05/20/2009 at 8:02am by oilerfan943
This isn't a FML. This is an Epic Win moment. Completely and utterly pwned, even if it wasn't intentional.
#44 - On 05/20/2009 at 8:15am by doctorskully
Sounds like you F'd the boyfriend's L...:P You may have F'd his future wife too!!! Been there, done that, got the T-shirt!
#45 - On 05/20/2009 at 8:23am by Yug_Tnacifingisn
Dude...That is EPIC. That is the best thing I have heard anyone ever say to their ex in front of her new boyfriend.
Congrats.
Thats not really an FML that's actually kind of a really good comeback
#47 - On 05/20/2009 at 8:35am by grlwitperlEring
That was a good burn, but remember...he's the one having sex with her NOW...now that she knows what she is doing.
Just something to think about.
#49 - On 05/20/2009 at 8:54am by timebombtown
Not an FML really, I say things like that to my ex all the time.
Pretty good comeback though hahaha.
#51 - On 05/20/2009 at 9:04am by roflstephh
There's no YDI our FML here. There is just pure WIN.
Chick tried to brag about her iPhone and you had an awesome comeback.
Kudos to you.
Try to not crash into her boyfriend sometime soon, though.
Not cool, dude.
...is what I want to say, but all I can muster is "pwn3d!"
#59 - On 05/20/2009 at 9:34am by regalarius
Fuck both your lives - she's doomed to s shitty Iphone AND the knowledge that she lost her virge to a dickweed like you.
#60 - On 05/20/2009 at 9:35am by ChelseaChops
Someone's not over their ex... It's been 5 years dude. Grow up and move on.
But still, that was a nice comeback. ;)
#61 - On 05/20/2009 at 9:37am by Rainbow_Monkey
Someone has way more wit than i do, lol
way to go hombre
#62 - On 05/20/2009 at 9:40am by genius_man16
The only way that could be an FML is if your current girlfriend (if you have one) was there too. And then only if she's the kind of girl to get pissed off about something like that. As it stands, you gave a burn from which there was no recovery on her part. I take it back. She could have recovered simply by saying, "Yeah, well you're a lousy lay!"
It would be an awesome comeback, except that A) It wasn't really the kind of situation that required a comeback of that nature, so you come off looking like a petty, jealous ex (and YDI) and B) that kind of behaviour = Exactly the reason why so many chicks are keen to hang onto their virginity lest they give it to a fuckhead who'll brag about it later like a complete tool and make her feel like a trophy and an idiot. Thanks for making it that much harder, asshole.
It's all right though. I'm sure she already appreciates the iPhone more than she ever appreciated having sex with you. Hence the "ex" part.
#66 - On 05/20/2009 at 10:02am by judgeymcjudge
I agree with 66. I would feel so pissed off -- and that phone doesn't warrant that sort of comment. I hate how guys brag about virginity.
I hope the ex said "it nearly put me off sex permanently"
#68 - On 05/20/2009 at 10:14am by an_account
Can someone explain to me why this is an FML? First of all I would say the same thing, if anything its an FML for the other guy but even then thats a stretch. I read so many of these posts and I just don't think people understand the concept of this site.
Haha I hope you're bigger than the other guy. This sounds like something I'd say in that situation. Sigh, why are our minds always on sex, even in a clearly non-sexual situation?
66 & 67 You both obviously have absolutely NO sense of humor! That is undeniably the best comeback EVER! My ex hangs out at the bar I go to with my friends... We hate each other but are "friends" 1 night a week so we do this shit to each other all night long! We get a laugh, our friends get a laugh, and everybody wins! :)
OP... FTW
#73 - On 05/20/2009 at 10:33am by sparda4355
lol hey maybe they didn't think you meant first as in virginity, maybe they thought you meant first like I went out with her before YOU. But yeah this is pretty awesome. The bitch got owned. "I got the iphone first", who gives a fuck, want a cookie?
#75 - On 05/20/2009 at 10:36am by shameinyou
This isn't an FML unless they reacted badly. Right now it's just funny.
#79 - On 05/20/2009 at 10:54am by Genephix
That's really funny, dude. I would have high-fived you for it. Take pride in yourself! :-P
#83 - On 05/20/2009 at 11:01am by Ravemaster7
That is perfect! I'm not sure it's an FML, but hey whatever. roflmfao, you get my vote!
#84 - On 05/20/2009 at 11:07am by simplyabsurd
She should've responded "Yeah, but the iPhone's gonna last more than 2 minutes..."
#85 - On 05/20/2009 at 11:10am by uh_huh_sure
I don't get one thing, are you still on her?! It seems so, if you could such thing because of some iphone... Kill her bf and have fun.
Oh my God! That is so not cool. FHL! Not FYL! SHE should be putting this on here! Uber embarrasing.
#93 - On 05/20/2009 at 12:05pm by stepherneffernee
i feel like it's been five years and that's much too long to still be thinking about her
#94 - On 05/20/2009 at 12:14pm by propelks09
THAT IS NOT AN FML!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh Shit!!! that is soooo freakin funny!!!!!!!!!!! another favorite!!!
No man F his life. He has to put up with that fact. She will never forget, until the day she dies, what you two had together. Yeah, #91 and #92 have it- you win. And dude, fuck the ex. One of you guys fucked up. If it's her then don't be that pushover who won't leave her behind. You put them in their place!
#99 - On 05/20/2009 at 12:23pm by iamspartacus2
Yeah. Epic win. Don't change the status quo back to their favor by apologizing. Just move on.
#101 - On 05/20/2009 at 12:26pm by iamspartacus2
the first part of your problem is hanging out with your ex and her boyfriend. you know something awkward is bound to happen.
That was pretty great. I'd say it, given the opportunity. But I also hate my ex's new girlfriend so anything to make her feel awkward is awesome in my book.
#106 - On 05/20/2009 at 1:17pm by tash14
Freakin' EPIC! I give you my applause, friend! Just to let this known before I'm flamed, I'm not supporting him saying this, I'm supporting the awesome comeback. If you all are too dense to see that is an awesome comeback, than you need to leave the dark cave called your room and hang out in the real world.
@#74
You've got to understand that it is engraved in the minds of men, and has been for generations, to protect the honor of what is 'his,' whether it be himself, his family or his woman. Just because in the last 100-200 years this has changed does not mean that we can turn off this instinct. Not like you'll read this anyway, lol.
#109 - On 05/20/2009 at 1:35pm by hungrypankake
hahahaha sucks to be her
BURN to the New BF
and you suck for bragging about that, but your comeback definately shut her up!
#110 - On 05/20/2009 at 1:43pm by curlyfriez
haha I have to laugh, because that sounds like something I would say in a fit of verbal diarrhea.... oh man, I feel your pain.
#116 - On 05/20/2009 at 3:00pm by C_Wicked27
that is failtasctic. its such a fail that it is almost a win. also thats a great line and will be using it in the near future!
#118 - On 05/20/2009 at 3:18pm by xolalalauren
>> 5 years later and sex is still the main thing you associate with her? That could be less creepy.
#119 - On 05/20/2009 at 3:26pm by noclevername
YtotallyDI....i really doubt this was a *complete* accident. And how petty and narcissistic of you to think that you accomplished something by being her first.
did he knock your lights out?
i hope so, you're a jack ass.
YDI to whatever happened.
#123 - On 05/20/2009 at 3:49pm by breaksprinter_
hahahah you obviously still have feelings for her
and im a gurl, and a bunch of my guy friends tell me that they hate being with their EX's
why were you hanging out with her AND the new BF?
DUDE THATS NOT AN FML THATS PURE FREAKIN GENIOUS!!!!!!!!!!! you rock dude!
#126 - On 05/20/2009 at 4:16pm by condescending
lol :P funny :P
not a FML unless her bf punched the light outta you XD
#127 - On 05/20/2009 at 4:18pm by SensVampire
I don't think this is funny... I think it's very, very immature. I guess I'm just different than most people on here though. Giving your virginity away is not something you want to hear the receiver of your virginity bragging about.
Wow you really are proud of yourself for taking her virginity aren't you!?
#137 - On 05/20/2009 at 5:24pm by atomicmrpelly
I think this is more of an FML for your ex-girlfriend's current boyfriend.
#139 - On 05/20/2009 at 6:08pm by falcon_paunch
HAHAHA ...that actually sounds like something i'd say on purpose :P
#144 - On 05/20/2009 at 7:00pm by insert_name
If I were there I probably would have high fived you. that's hilarious. a little mean, but it was an accident and you guys clearly broke up a long time ago.
This FML would be more awesome if you ended it with "then I got punched in the face by her new boyfriend".
First of all, props to you, man. Second of all, I wouldn't worry about that troubling your frienship with your ex, because if you guys are still hanging out after 5 years after a breakup, then she's not going to hate you just cause of one badass comeback.
#149 - On 05/20/2009 at 8:04pm by aggieskate900
That's not really an FML moment. She probably deserved it, after all you were just stating something factual, and it's not really offensive or rude. Not a big deal at all.
#151 - On 05/20/2009 at 8:24pm by audreyelise
I want your baby dude. That was amazing. (not really btw >.> But mad props :D)
#153 - On 05/20/2009 at 8:43pm by gvschmidt94
hahahahahaha i hope you took a pic of the look on her face
#155 - On 05/20/2009 at 9:02pm by Lazyninja420
hahaha, I think that is a winning come back.
Thats great, and rather awkward all around. I hope you guys are good enough friends that you can laugh about it. It seems like you are. After all she has been with someone else for five years and if you are still hanging it out, I'm guessing everyone has moved on.
If I was your ex, I would have probably kicked you in the balls.
But since I'm not your ex, I would have to high five you and ask to be your new gf!
#164 - On 05/20/2009 at 11:05pm by newbieattech
Ahahahahahaha! damn, yu jus bout owned her. well her and her virginity.
#166 - On 05/20/2009 at 11:13pm by YungMarlon23
AHAHAHAHAHA this should not be a fyl do to the fact that is is awesome and would be perfect except that you said that you took her virginity...
#167 - On 05/20/2009 at 11:32pm by AgentGreenEyes
Hardly an FML. A bit close to the bone perhaps, depending on how well you all get on, but it's not like you're telling anyone anything they don't already know. Probably. At least I hope not, that *would* be a bit embarrassing.
F His Life. Because it don't matter anyway... Because you called him out. Badass. LMFAO Nice.
#169 - On 05/21/2009 at 12:49am by iroquoiswho1033
did this before. but my ex nd the guy hadnt been dating that llongg.. my buddies thought it was funny...she didnt. yelled at me and idnt tlkto me forlike 6 months lmfao.bad part is i was workin on gettin her back:P
That was a pretty insensitive thing to say but at least it was an accident. I don't get why people are complimenting you for burning on her current boyfriend (albeit accidentally) though; if he's committed enough to have been with her for 5 years now he sounds like a pretty decent guy.
#171 - On 05/21/2009 at 1:05am by nuga
Good work! If she's so vain she has to claim what piece of technology she had first then she deserves to be spoken to like that.
#176 - On 05/21/2009 at 4:37am by MajorLeeScrewed
This sounds less like an FML and more like a really sad attempt at bragging on the internet.
#178 - On 05/21/2009 at 7:52am by MrJentipede
Actually, it's not an FML, it's an EPIC WIN! Boo yah!
I might add that a lot of the other commenters took this WAY too seriously. You act like the whole b/f-g/f thing actually matters a damn. If they're really friends, they laughed their asses off.
And if they got upset, well, they're probably not as good of friends as they thought.
All the rest is just useless drama. STFU.
not an fml but a hella good comeback. she then should have said,"oh yea i forgot."
#184 - On 05/21/2009 at 2:29pm by lostmymind16
HAHA good one. but it sounds like you aren't over her quite yet..
#189 - On 05/21/2009 at 9:12pm by Jeanni_Nicole
bahahahah thats hilarious.
like most other people have said though, it sounds like your not over her.
#190 - On 05/21/2009 at 9:35pm by amykillswitch
hahahaha....oh boyfriend got burned. ha...but i'd be so pissed if one of my exes said that to my boyfriend.
#193 - On 05/22/2009 at 12:24am by ShortyBBangin
wow lame
dude so your fault
your dum :P
sounded jealous ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
SHe was probably thinking
but he is better =O
#8 LOL $100? What planet are you from? Depending on your currency it's about $400-$600 :P Twat.
But this is an AWESOME FML lol. Not really a FML, but an OMG YOU HAVE GUTS. And brilliant wit :P
#198 - On 05/22/2009 at 9:19am by HitTheLights
possibly the most epic comeback on fml. i say f thier life. well played, son, well played.
#201 - On 05/22/2009 at 12:02pm by that_guy01
Apparently the people saying he is a jealous ex are completely retarded. He was "HANGING OUT WITH HIS FRIENDS" meaning they are his ex's friends to, they are bound to see each other again. Anyways I doubt he even thinks about her. His response was completely awesome and full of win, her being a cunt and saying "I had the iPhone first." gave him every right to retaliate with that epic response.
WELL DONE!!!!!! Anyone who thinks you fail for saying that bit of vileness is wrong.
#213 - On 05/24/2009 at 9:50am by DieterDerBlau
I would have walked up to her boyfriend and asked him how my dick tastes. lol Dont do it is you ever want to talk to her again though. lol
#214 - On 05/24/2009 at 5:46pm by irishasshole08
When you say "virginity I had taken years earlier" it makes it sound like you raped her.
#215 - On 05/24/2009 at 9:32pm by SteamyCream
WHY HASN'T ANYONE DONE THIS YET?!
Today, I was hanging out with my ex and my boyfriend of 5 years. I said "I had the iPhone first." and my ex immidatly said "Well, I had YOU first!", FML.
Today, I was hanging out with my girlfriend of 5 years and her ex, my girlfriend said "I had the iPhone first," and her ex immidiatly said "Well I had YOU first!", FML.
Srsly. These are on all FMLs like this!! >
Anyways, I LOVE IT! 8DD Totally epicness
and ROTF 214 xDD
I dont care what anybody else says that was hilarious! If you cant laugh about things that you did in the past or personal things then you need to work on your sense of humor... so he/she got burned... you should always be able to laugh things off and move on.. life is too funny not to make fun off ;-)
wow! you deserved that one! really get her out of your system!
#226 - On 05/29/2009 at 10:59pm by herbestfriend
is this an FML because it blatantly illustrates how you are so not over her after 5 fucking years? and you have insecurity issues?
the virginity thing was on your mind the whole time, wasn't it?
#233 - On 06/10/2009 at 1:44pm by amazingkate
XD that's hilarious... I don't feel bad for you at all though..
#234 - On 06/11/2009 at 12:32am by abberant_iris
that's hilarious. i say no to fyl, no to ydi, but nice one, ftw.
#237 - On 06/14/2009 at 2:10pm by milenavessylo
Not an FML, that's a winnn.
That's funny.
Although, a girl gives you her virginity, you don't take it..
But this isn't an FML :P
#243 - On 08/22/2009 at 12:22pm by cristineuhhx3
ya well i was standing with my current boyfriend of two years and my ex boyfriend and my current boyfriend has been my first everything except kiss, and a first kiss is special to him, and i was his first kiss, and he always seems to complain about how he wasnt my first kiss, anyway i was standing with both of them and i had jelly beans and both of them asked for some and my boyfriend comes up with "i asked her first" so my ex comes back with "ya well i kissed her first" my boyfriend was pretty much in a bad mood for the rest of the day
haha oh snaapp. that's a burn for the boyfriend. he just got served.
#250 - On 11/16/2009 at 7:45pm by Laxloverr24
omg so deffinately not an fml this is more of an epic win with a back handed slap to her so grats on that
#253 - On 01/18/2010 at 7:49pm by firesetsboy
