Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me and decided it'd be funny to blow raspberries in my crotch. He literally thought it was the funniest thing ever. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to try humming during a blow job. He seemed to like it at first, but apparently, "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan wasn't a good choice. He still isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. It would have been great, if a mate of his didn't tell him to put Listerine strips in his mouth first "for the tingle." I've been running cold water over my burning genitals for 15 minutes while he laughs at the door. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
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Top comments
flashback.miss 28
sweet of you to try something new to please your boyfriend, though.
Wizardo 33
Maybe you should try one of those low, deep throaty hums, that should do the job properly and blow his brains away...
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Comments (106)
flashback.miss 28
sweet of you to try something new to please your boyfriend, though.
BodyCountEndless 20
Why didn't you reply with lyrics?
Voij 16
What if those were lyrics? *off to write a song*
worldclassrager 39
Check her page...you'll understand..,
michaelaranda 28
Its actually what the guy is supposed to do to his woman.
NoNamesFree 8
Your pictures is gonna give me nightmares...
ottokat 15
@29, really because last I checked, a relationship is a two way street. How it works lies on the shoulders of both people, never just one.
Jezzikah 11
I think he was just referring to the humming, not just trying it general
Zeus1070 17
@56 Why are you being thumbed down?? What are people's reasoning behind this.
hooligyn123 18
because 56 was assuming 29 was saying that just the guy is supposed to go down on his woman. when in fact he was meaning the humming making oral feel better... which 29 still missed the mark...
adamo_erebus 26
Isn't this how you play the didgeredoo?
BodyCountEndless 20
Semen is actually good for your teeth, so he's not wrong
michelleJ11 25
What does that have to do with anything..?
Bloink 25
The toothbrush part
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
is it really? or did a bunch of guys make it up?
happle 21
I read an article claiming that the regular consumption of semen reduces the risk of breast cancer. Of course it was fake.
nurchok 15
Perhaps regular consumption via ******? All that shaking while shagging must reduce the chances of best cancer...
AfroNinja6810 11
best cancer?
katykoolcat 13
Actually i read scientists have proven semen has anti ageing things in it so, good for face masks apparently.
Wizardo 33
Maybe you should try one of those low, deep throaty hums, that should do the job properly and blow his brains away...
clemsi 20
I don't think I will ever be able to watch and or read another Harry Potter book/movie the same way again..
solus_fml 12
Fhl for having a singing toothbrush
Blackcatluck 19
I don't know if someone told you this but I think it's time for your to know.... Girls don't have cocks, I know shocking!
AtomicDiamond87 15
Both these comments make no sense.
CommonSenseKarma 17
The first one makes perfect sense: Why the **** does a man old enough to have sex have a singing toothbrush? Is Hannah Montana is favorite TV show? The second one... I got nothing.
bipitydooiseeyou 6
singing toothbrushes are cool! :P
Nyx_fml 23
Justin Bieber singing toothbrushes is most of what I found when I tried to google "singing toothbrush", so it makes me wonder what song were you humming.
jessBeAqueen 13
there's a whole line. Im proud to say I have the lady gaga one.
Spider_Web 11
I have the my little pony theme song one
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
35--ur comment plus ur pic is freakin hilarious!!!
Nyx_fml 23
I went and did investigative work, and yeah, I saw Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, LMFAO, One Direction and Psy. I have to say that I liked the Priscilla Piggles talking toothbrush better.
NoYDI 4
They're called ToothTunes.
Mobyman30 9
I think I'm more concerned about your boyfriend having a singing toothbrush... Kudos for trying something new though
Conn3ct 9
Nice try though OP. you've got a lucky boyfriend.
EmmaMK 35
He should be grateful
Yellow_Fish79 11
Props for trying something new.
perdix 29
I used to like Hummers, until those gas-guzzling SUVs came out.
AnOriginalName 19
So now you like guzzlers?