Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML
Today, after asking my boyfriend multiple times to be more kind and romantic, he looked at me lovingly and said, "You know, you look pretty sometimes." FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of, "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said, "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I'm the best lay of his life. I really wish I could say the same about him. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML
Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend, I gave a beggar some cash, who then smiled at me and said to my boyfriend, "You have a beautiful little lady, take good care of her." Flattered, I hoped my boyfriend would agree with the compliment. He turned and said, "Hear that? He said you were little." FML
Today, my boyfriend compared me to an unattractive actress. When I said it was sort of messed up to say that to me since she's not pretty, he said, "She's not as bad as you." FML
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Top comments
Psychicgirl17 18
What a dick. Dump his ass
SWhimsynBubbaS 14
You mean your ex-boyfriend?
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Comments (129)
Psychicgirl17 18
What a dick. Dump his ass
MrConcise 34
What's OP's boyfriend have in common with Bill Clinton? "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."
HortonThelephant 15
Personally, I feel for him. My girlfriend wouldn't even let me get lei'd in Hawaii..
priceyfml 7
Yup. He's a classless loser that doesn't deserve OP.
FlyingPie 17
#34: Ask her to go with you to the beautiful Hawaiian island of Comoniwanalaya.
Enslaved 36
The OP's boyfriend should have gone to "Paradise City" Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.
Ray_of_midnight 22
Sounds more like he's headed for the island of Nonooki. (stole that from an old Leisure Suit Larry game)
omg36 7
He's as classless as the communists
cottoncandymango 17
That's one way to dump an asshole.
feelingold 18
you're pretty
fuckedPriceless 17
He's would be a smart guy for saying she is pretty to get laid. His only fault was telling her why. :)
hemz_fml 13
Has anyone considered that it might be a joke? If he didn't think she was pretty then why would he want to get laid with her? People are stupid.
MerrikBarbarian 9
90- not always. Some girls appreciate blunt honesty in a partner. It's nice not to play guessing games. Yeah it can bruise the ego, but it also means you never have to wonder what is going on in his mind.
SWhimsynBubbaS 14
You mean your ex-boyfriend?
13ky13 20
How original.
SWhimsynBubbaS 14
Just saying. I'm pretty sure no one would want to continue being with someone like that. That's all
domking1315 20
Tell him "this isnt the way" and walk off.
RedPillSucks 31
Not sure why you're being thumbed down, that was the best response
Californialuvv 7
Atleast he's honest.
MzZombicidal 36
Yeah, sure. That just completely negates the bad stuff he said.
BeccaHugs 17
I really hope you meant to type "ex-boyfriend". You deserve someone more respectful than that.
feelingold 18
you are pretty
LeeCards 8
How do you know what she deserves? For all you know she could be a serial child abductor.
tsent8 15
He's pretty too. Pretty bad at being a decent boyfriend.
olpally 32
He thinks with his dick, not his brain. Bad news. Get out now.
honestyslife 9
Honey, your boyfriend's a douche.
misterjez 15
Well he said you were pretty, better spread 'em.
evilraider 5
Correct me if im wrong but Somehow I feel like you're single
truesarrif 33
No no. #12 has a whole harem. Rosie palm and her 5 sisters.
rhapsodys 12
#12 Your profile pic matches your comment
EggsinaBasket 9
im pretty sure he was being sarcastic
dumbblonde1432 5
HAHAHA that was great XD