marriage/celibacy/synonymity
Espeland, Norway 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I showed my wife an article about how frequent orgasms can prevent prostate cancer, as well as increase both partners' overall health. She replied that she wouldn't judge me if I masturbated, as long as I don't use porn. FML
Top comments
upyourzlolz 11
I find my imagination to be the best cameraman, director, and pornstar I've ever known.
perdix 29
Tell her your masturbating won't improve her health, and she might even end up slipping on a puddle of semen and breaking a hip. Ladies love it when you try to charm their pants off with medical research.
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Comments (94)
mikepzz 27
you should maybe ask her to.help out.. or maybe try and spice it up a bit, just stay away from chili pepper... no, you don't want to know.
BabyGirlJr1 11
I do
ParadoxicalPea 8
common sense.
KrazyKatz333 15
Me too!
LadyGore 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well isn't that unfortunate, personally I find masterbating to thoughts or people's picture creepy.
FML_Whale 18
Well, you're a dog and you lick your privates all the time. I personally find that weird.
misspennycakes 7
How is it creepy?
boarderlyne17 8
2 - If you don't *********** to thoughts or visuals, what the hell do you ********** to? Aren't thoughts kind of a constant process? Or... not really for you?
upyourzlolz 11
I find my imagination to be the best cameraman, director, and pornstar I've ever known.
j_cat187 19
So you're not allowed to watch **** as well?
militarybrat 21
I actually watch **** with my husband. Sometimes its extremely comical. Especially the parodies
picturescrazy 24
Agreed, nothing better than choosing your own cast & seeing exactly what you're in the mood for (:
FMLandFYL2_xoxo 22
I think OP was too obvious here
BeccaHugs 17
Time to try spicing up the love life with toys and actions instead of articles.
perdix 29
Tell her your masturbating won't improve her health, and she might even end up slipping on a puddle of semen and breaking a hip. Ladies love it when you try to charm their pants off with medical research.
mystashisgone 6
I have to admit, that made me chuckle a bit.
perdix 29
#33, just "a bit?" Come on! Admit it, you LOL'd!
djgoreo 12
Does your wife choose no health benefits from sex for herself over having sex with you?
sig4life 18
I do believe she did. Maybe OP needs to see a sex coach because he obviously isn't doing something right.
ohSNAPyall 26
Maybe she figured that the health benefits wouldn't apply because he doesn't make her ******.
CrissyyyS2 22
Well he should realize that and spice things up in bed... Sex toy?
SillyGirl4602 23
54- it's hard for him to realize that if she doesn't communicate with him.
Michael903 18
Then ********** in bed, with her beside you, with LOTS of sound effects. Then at least she'll know you not watching ****.
BubbleGrunge 18
Tell her you won't watch **** if she'll give you a hand.
otecasacid 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
isn't there some legal option if your spouse refuses sex? Was pretty sure you could get your marriage annulled or something, and not have to pay alimony/child support
kat33_fml 7
If there's no sex then child support wouldn't be an issue.
whostolemylama 12
If you lived in China, then you would have a legal precedent. If not, then no.
ParadoxicalPea 8
I do believe it was if your marriage was never consummated.
boarderlyne17 8
11 - A small part of me wants to write you a list of everything that's wrong with your comment... But something tells me I'd be wasting my breath (or... letters?).
BellaBelle_fml 23
Everyone has denied their partner sex at least once or twice during their relationship. Everyone has the right to say no sometimes. So long as they are not refusing sex just to be spiteful or something similarly harsh, and so long as it is not a frequent occurrence, but merely due to being sick, exhausted, or simply not being in the mood, I see no reason for divorce. That seems immature, selfish, and almost as if they didn't genuinely care for their partner and were only using them for their own self gratification, which is disgusting to me when I think about it.
SillyGirl4602 23
Get an annulment because his wife is holding out on him? That's ridiculous. He needs to actually talk to her about it instead of showing her articles.
slappomatt 4
Divorce. Don't stay in a love-less marriage. Get a lawyer before u do anything. She might even be cheating if she doesn't want any
B0nb0N09 12
Rapist