Today, I had my first cervical screening. I was assured that... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By oww - 19/09/2018 00:35

Today, I had my first cervical screening. I was assured that it won't be more than a slight discomfort; no one prepared me for the most excruciating pain I've ever felt. Like many first time, I bled, walked funny and can still feel it. I lost my 'virginity' to a poorly lubed plastic stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 2

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

No comments yet.

Comments

No comments yet.

Keywords

Love Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Intimacy Sex Revenge Food Work Parents Relatable Awkward Miscellaneous Weird Health Job interview Social Media Jealousy Facebook Relationship advice AITA Kids Roommate Shoes Annoying Music Names Customers Money Education

The Top

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 015

You deserved it 3 406

Today, I began noticing a certain female name popping up on my husband’s social media notifications,so I asked him about it. He got irrationally upset at the fact that I pronounced her name wrong, told me she’s “nobody”, then said, “I hate it when you accuse me of shit!” I didn’t even accuse him of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 76

The Top

Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 127

You deserved it 64 362

Today, I, along with two cops and another paramedic, had to fight to pin down some total scumsucker. He was high out of his mind on god knows what, in his underwear, screaming like a maniac outside someone else's house at 2 in the morning. I don't get paid nearly enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 613

You deserved it 2 881

At least he's honest!

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 70

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I was hanging out with my boyfriend. He pulled me close to him and I started to feel better, until he put my hand down his pants and around his penis and said, "Here! Try this to take your mind off it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 730

You deserved it 9 029

Today, my alcoholic dad finally came to see to my last dance recital after years of never showing up to watch me. He got kicked out of the audience for snoring too loud. I could hear him from the stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 67

Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 437

You deserved it 6 689