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Today, one month before my wedding, the venue I booked two years ago increased their standard inclusions and decreased their pricing by 25%. Guess who doesn’t qualify for this new deal. FML

By Bridezilla - / Friday 27 July 2018 03:00 / Australia - Gymea
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By Anonymous - / Wednesday 25 July 2018 03:00 / Australia - Melbourne
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Today, I thought I was finally connecting with my new kitten when she was looking at me closely and letting me pet her. The moment was quickly ruined by her sinking a claw into my eyeball. FML

By FailedCatMum - / Wednesday 11 July 2018 23:00 / Australia - Drummoyne
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Today, my favourite vibrator got a good thrashing. Unfortunately, it was by my cat, who tore it to shreds. I guess she disapproves of my choice of leisure activities. FML

By XanderFierce - / Friday 29 June 2018 09:30 / Australia - Camperdown
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Today, I discovered that my ex is still my emergency contact at work. I found this out when I fainted and my work called her. She told them to "pull the plug". FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 20 June 2018 19:30 / Australia
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By Sleepmonster - / Friday 11 May 2018 03:00 / Australia - Saint Kilda
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Today, I called in sick at work and went to the bar, only to find out that my manager has a second job there. I am now jobless. FML

By lolbahadur - / Friday 16 March 2018 14:00 / Australia
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Today, my crush asked to speak with me in private. He took me to a secluded area and asked if my best friend was interested in him. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 8 March 2018 19:30 / Australia
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By HungryBird - / Sunday 4 March 2018 01:00 / Australia - Peakhurst
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By Wtf - / Tuesday 13 February 2018 03:56 / Australia - Peakhurst
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By BonusForDaddyIssues - / Monday 29 January 2018 00:00 / Australia - Brisbane
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Today, my dog became too old to eat dry food. A $9 bag used to last him 3 weeks. The equivalent in the cheapest canned food is $63. FML

By DogGoneIt - / Monday 22 January 2018 11:00 / Australia - Adelaide
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Today, while my boyfriend was going down on me, he started to really get into it and get rough. He tore my labia and I now need stitches. FML

By Becca - / Tuesday 9 January 2018 13:30 / Australia
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Today, at work, a mosquito landed on my brand new tattoo. Without thinking, I slapped it. Hard. FML

By ouchy - / Wednesday 29 November 2017 19:30 / Australia
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By "Stella5127" - / Wednesday 29 November 2017 16:00 / Australia - Melbourne
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Today, I was strolling along a sidewalk when I noticed that my shoelace was untied. As I knelt down to tie it, my brand new $1,000 phone fell out of my pocket and into a storm sewer. FML

By Phonessed - / Thursday 9 November 2017 08:00 / Australia - Balwyn
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Today, the friend I recommended for a job at my workplace is getting fired for being one of the worst people they have ever hired. FML

By Worker - / Saturday 21 October 2017 01:12 / Australia - Forrestfield
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Today, I found out that I get incredibly, disgustingly ill if I eat anything before or during a flight. I discovered this 4 hours into a 23-hour flight to Greece. Only 19 hours of nausea to go. FML

By killmepls - / Wednesday 18 October 2017 14:00 / Australia - Saint Lucia
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Today, I learnt that my 2-year-old half brother is going to a private school while my brother and I go to a public school. My stepmom said it's for the best because "he's way smarter than you two are". FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 13 October 2017 17:15 / Australia
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By Loner Bride - / Thursday 12 October 2017 10:36 / Australia - Brunswick East
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By stupidstepsister - / Thursday 12 October 2017 05:00 / Australia - Canberra
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By Anon - / Friday 17 March 2017 13:00 / Australia
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By dammit - / Saturday 12 September 2015 08:11 / Australia - Redbank
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By Anonymous - / Monday 12 January 2015 01:14 / Australia - Attadale
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Today, I found on Facebook that my best friend of 10 years is getting married next week. I'm guessing my invite got lost in the mail. FML

By J.D. - / Sunday 1 December 2013 12:43 / Australia - Exeter
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Today, whilst waiting tables at work, I served a young couple the milkshakes they had ordered. The woman at the next table verbally abused me for "teasing" her screaming sons with "unhealthy foods". FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 25 June 2013 05:24 / Australia - Brisbane
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By Love2sleep - / Saturday 20 April 2013 04:31 / Australia - Brisbane
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Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of the supermarket. FML

By Mavyblondie - / Friday 7 December 2012 03:39 / Australia
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