Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact that both of my roommates are aware of. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML
Today, there was a big cake at the office. I thought it was funny to pretend to push the cute girl in the office into it. She laughed, but then lost her balance and fell forward. Everyone saw. Turns out she’s allergic to coconut, even just the shavings on a cake, and had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, I found some cookies on my bed and got so excited that I kneed myself in my face. FML
Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
Today, I went to interview with potential new roommates at a cooperative living house. I decided to bake cookies for everyone, and while touring the house, I forgot about the cookies and set off a small oven fire. All this after professing how responsible I am. FML
Today, I discovered a drawer full of chocolates, cookies and baked goods in my house. When I asked my sister what the drawer was, she told me that my mom thought it would be a good idea to hide the fattening foods from me. My entire family had known about the food drawer, except me. FML
Today, I made my mom cookies for Mother's Day. My brother took all the cookies to work as a snack, because I didn't specifically tell him that the homemade "MOM" hearts weren't meant for him. FML
Today, I made a small batch of cookies and took them to work. Mostly everyone took one, but nobody said anything until I asked how they were. Someone asked what my recipe was, because it tasted like I'd forgot to add sugar. I bit into one. I had. The cookies tasted like muddy mush. FML
Today, I got a package containing a present from my grandma. It was a pack of cookies someone gave her for her birthday, and which no one in the family wanted to take home when she offered, because we all found the cookies disgusting. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
acrylicParadox 7
There's still a small chance they forgot...but if they didn't, that's just sad.
sweettart83 27
At least you realized it had coconut in it before you ate it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (123)
acrylicParadox 7
There's still a small chance they forgot...but if they didn't, that's just sad.
lulubelles 33
It's more than sad, if that coconut would cause anaphylaxis it's attempted murder. Maybe they're after your room OP?
alexsam_fml 10
or they are after your jobs OP. One for each!
Freethaawave 19
Jeeeez, your roommates are pure evil, OP.
14avalentour 9
Just hit the bitch when she comes home
Major_General 10
Melodramatic much?
tjv3 10
I'm thinking you pissed them off. Fall down and act dead
shibler2 2
she is right that is attempted murder...not an FML I would turn them in that is in no way funny...
fury1031 10
Yeah, I'm fairly certain that could be considered a poisoning attempt. Have them arrested, they need to have their lives destroyed.
Knightchaser27 25
Why would they do something like that?
andyyroxx 20
Dey be coco-loco nutty people mon.
gc327072 31
They're psychics, and knew it would be an FML. The note was an act of Inception.
sweettart83 27
At least you realized it had coconut in it before you ate it.
DyslexicPanda 12
It only said he discovered it had coconut, not how he did. For all we know he could have eaten it, thus making the fml even worse
sweettart83 27
The FML clearly stated that OP broke the cookie in half and discovered the coconut. Also, since the FML failed to mention having an allergic reaction from eating said cookies I think its a logical assumption that OP did not eat a cookie.
Helpfulman 17
Who the **** breaks cookies in half before eating them though?
Wolvander88 19
Maybe they knew, and still think you deserve it.
gracehi 33
Gee, thanks for pointing that out. I doubt anyone else would have noticed that subtle suggestion in the FML.
ericcrash 13
41- The "You deserve it" stated in the FML was implied that it was a good job type of thing,like a reward .
AquanTheDragon 5
#103, I had to thumb you up because of your icon. Zelda FTW.
jarrettd 27
Were the cookies still good?
metalhead4740 14
I don't know man, allergic or not, coconut is always good
Sandman366 6
Hmm, risk death by allergic reaction just to try some cookies, or not try them and live to see your roommates suffer for this near successful poisoning.....I'll go with the latter, thanks.
BlowinChronic 18
Wow that was pretty mean. It was something that could have potentially gone very wrong too depending on how severe your allergies are.
MsConfusedd 27
That's just mean. You should get them back. All you need is a goat, maple syrup, justin bieber, and vaseline. Do with them what you will.
ambitiousnygrl 17
or choco-lax brownies!
RpiesSPIES 27
#39 Those are only suitable after you've been dine-and-dashed on.
Sandman366 6
I choose "lock them in a room and play music that they wish they were allergic to for 24h straight" option. Bonus if you tie them up and put it on headphones so you don't have to listen to it either, and they can't stop hearing it.
seansbro56 10
Atleast you didnt eat it.... Get them back by turning their alarms off so theyre late to work or something
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Yes, your roommates are irresponsible, you could have ended up in ER or worse if you had not paid attention. Whatever your relationship with them is, playing pranks on someone’s else health is downright dangerous and stupid. You should confront them about it. If they forgot, fair enough but it seems strange they’d pick the one flavor you allergic to. Stand up for yourself and make them realize that they should never pull a stunt like that again.
jrsyshoregirl86 27
Wow what asses!!! U should go up to them & tell them the cookies were delicious to see if they react shocked... If they do then punch them in the face bc then they planned on causing you harm :)