By Anonymous - 29/01/2013 04:23 - United States - Lafayette Hill

Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
I agree, your life sucks 9 592
You deserved it 46 274
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Top comments

ladylilly25 20

Well, at least drunken you doesn't burn down orphanages or anything... just, you know, chews gum.

96 4
SexySlayer1248 18

Darwinism gives you the first one free

75 2

Comments

ladylilly25 20

Well, at least drunken you doesn't burn down orphanages or anything... just, you know, chews gum.

96 4
StalkerChick 13

Yea, deadly amount of gum. Way to go OP, you cheated death!

14 0
senor_awesome 14

Let's hope this near death experience and this comment don't give OP any ideas for their next drunken escapades...

14 0
sens3sfailing 24

(drunk talk) I swear oceifer! those orphans was all burned when I gots here! I was trying to do mythbusters and make a bigger flame next to the orpanage to put it out! what? thats a hospital next to the oarfanage? wow...that was dark...*seeks help*

9 13
wardo 4

48 -Did you really think anyone would think that was funny? I hate you.

4 2
ALlamaOnFire 20

You're being very harsh today wardo! You can hate someone you've never ever met. Unless it's Giovanna Plowman, that girl is NASTY!

2 0
SexySlayer1248 18

Darwinism gives you the first one free

75 2
AngrySailor 17

Thought that was spiderman? "Everybody gets one"

21 2
SexySlayer1248 18

I was gonna say that but not everyone gets the family guy reference

6 1
GemmaStyles 14

Thank you for stating the obvious

22 1
iOceanus 18

Don't drink and chew!

22 3
Kieraganion 13

You really shouldn't consider doing thongs like that while intoxicated. It would suck for your family to hear that you died of drinking and chewing.

36 4
Zebediabolical 39

I nearly spittaked when I read this. Mostly because I got an image in my head of a drunk eating a whole package of thongs!

38 1
dmoran20 27

Yeah, drinking and thongs can be a dangerous combo!

28 1
ElectricEffect 13

I agree. His footwear attire was completely inappropriate... Sandals are always a bad idea when intoxicated.

20 2
Alexweber929 14

I had to thumb this up just because it was a funny **** up

17 0
Abantiquo 7

Any non-Aussies getting confused about sandal reference in thread about thong underwear? Aussies call thongs g-strings and flip-flops thongs.

2 18
gc327072 30

44- a fair bit of us 'muricans say the same.

7 2
DanielleinDC 33

Yeah, and for some reason, I call the shoes flip-flops and the undergarments thongs--when I'm not callnig them butt floss. YDI, OP, but I'm sure you know this.

4 2
iOceanus 18

Sorry to burst your bubble, but I don't think OP could handle any gum while intoxicated.

14 4
IOmnomHard 10

It was sarcasm, don't worry about my bubble. (There's a pun there somewhere...)

4 21
dmoran20 27

For once I am at a loss for words... Glad you're ok though :-)

4 15
gmian 34

Then why comment if you're at a loss for words?

8 2
dmoran20 27

Obviously you didn't read where I said "glad your ok" as far as loss for words? Means I was shocked into silence.

1 2
dmoran20 27

Sure thing #74 right after you choke on this dick. Never fails, always 1 punk who doesn't know their place. Run along now, and feel free to come back and enlighten us with those profound comments of yours....

2 1
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14

I love this, because it reminds me of when I was a kid, I tried to chew full packs of gum aaaall the time! Me as a child and drunk OP would have so much fun together.

17 2