Love, Roommate and Relatable: Wake up Boo! - FML

Wake up Boo!

By what a dumbass - 19/05/2022 04:00

Today, my idiot roommate finally realized that a girl who follows you everywhere like a puppy, always wants to talk to you, and "accidentally" sends nudes is into you. Unfortunately, she's since moved on from him. Now I get to listen to him whine about how unfair it all is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 265

You deserved it 138

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

Unrequited and stuck

By Anonymous - 19/05/2020 02:00

Today, I'm crushing so hard on my male roommate that I've basically become a doormat for him. Meanwhile, he's on the phone for hours with the pretty girl he met over Tinder. I feel pathetic, stupid and jealous, which I have no right to be. Worst part, we're still quarantined together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 668

You deserved it 765

Coinkydink

By Anonymous - 21/01/2022 08:01 - Belgium - Roeselare

Today, my roommate told me he was bringing home his new girlfriend. When the arrived, he introduced me to… my longtime crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 310

You deserved it 195

By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 11:47

Today, I found out that my new roommate is dating my ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 844

You deserved it 134

By Order of the Dangling Testicles - 28/01/2014 20:28 - United States - Astoria

Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 100

You deserved it 4 330

By Anonymous - 12/11/2009 20:34 - Canada

Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 106

You deserved it 9 649

By Anonymous - 06/11/2016 16:31 - United Kingdom - Maidenhead

Today, I was talking to my best friend about how much of an asshole my ex-boyfriend is. After about 2 hours of non-stop bitching, it turns out she's actually dating him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 024

You deserved it 1 458

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 23:00 - Canada

Today, I found that my "lesbian" best friend and roommate is now dating the guy I've been trying to get a date with for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 019

You deserved it 3 343

By YaytoSeniorYear - 05/09/2017 20:00

Today, my roommate revealed that she's dating my ex. I later had to navigate around them caressing each other just to grab my noodles from the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 814

You deserved it 293

By busybuzzybee - 17/08/2011 00:31 - United States

Today, my asshole of a roommate finally decided to move out. Not only did he take his belongings with him, he took some of mine as well. Including my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 536

You deserved it 2 851

Forever the bridesmaid

By Anonymous - 21/10/2020 14:02

Today, after watching my roommate and her boyfriend be all lovey dovey for months, I now have to watch two of our other friends flirting as well. I'm painfully single and have been struggling to change that for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 216

Next

Top comments

Grumpy Jack 26

Thursday 16 June 2022 4:00

How long did it take him to realize ??

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 19 May 2022 7:17

So, were the nudes good?

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 19 May 2022 7:17

So, were the nudes good?

Grumpy Jack 26

Thursday 16 June 2022 4:00

How long did it take him to realize ??

Keywords

Health Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Family Kids Fight Love Relatable Students Work Animals Birds Sleep Noise Mental health Contraception Medication Racism Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Intimacy Sex Revenge Food Cats

The Top

Today, after getting ghosted by a company for a job I really wanted, I posted on LinkedIn, venting my frustration with companies not having the decency to send rejection letters. My current boss, who didn't know I was job hunting, saw it, and let me know I'm now on the shit list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 908

Today, I asked a girl at work out, who'd claimed she was single. Not ten minutes later, our boss fired me. Turns out that girl is actually his side chick he cheats on his wife with, even though she’s 19 and he’s 48. Not illegal, just scummy as hell, and he fired me out of jealousy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 100

The Top

Today, my sister posted on her Facebook that she hates moving because of all of the packing that she and my family have to do. I didn't even know we're moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 035

You deserved it 2 585

Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 580

You deserved it 4 560

Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 235

You deserved it 60 874

Today, we went to the mall and my husband picked me out some perfume. When I asked him why he liked that particular one he responded with, "that's what's the stripper at my bachelor party was wearing." He was completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 767

You deserved it 4 221

Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 432

You deserved it 1 116

Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 749

You deserved it 3 607