Miscellaneous: Today, while I was cleaning, listening to music and sometimes...

By Anonymous - 12/02/2016 00:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while I was cleaning, listening to music and sometimes singing along, I heard a knock on my front door. I turned off the music and opened the door to the police, who stated they had to investigate reports of "repeated female screams" coming from my apartment. I'm a 23 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 903

You deserved it 2 414

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By CAchickadee - 29/05/2011 04:27 - United States

Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 298

You deserved it 6 224

By MALICEG - 26/05/2012 07:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 492

You deserved it 4 783

By I'm Not Dead Yet - 09/06/2014 19:37 - United States - Tucson

Today, I put my headphones on and laid down to relax to some music. I fell asleep, and woke up later to a police officer busting into my house. My neighbor had been knocking on my door, then looked through my window and saw me on my couch, and was convinced I'd died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 763

You deserved it 5 217

No more yodelling

By Anonymous - 05/03/2023 00:00

Today, I was singing in the shower and my neighbor called the police because they thought I was in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 221

By Anonymous - 25/06/2009 02:06 - Canada

Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 749

You deserved it 7 378

Suspicious minds

By abusedparrot - 24/08/2014 12:40 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 250

You deserved it 6 134

By freshman - 25/03/2011 23:05 - Canada

Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 159

You deserved it 60 178

Crime scene

By xTRYSOFTx - 07/03/2020 03:00 - United States

Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 2 155

By ThatAintLogical - 18/12/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I slipped as I was about to take a shower, knocking myself out cold. I woke up to someone banging on my door. It was a cop checking to see if I was okay. When I asked how he knew to come, he said he was notified by "a male neighbor who called anonymously." I guess I have a peeping Tom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 195

You deserved it 2 542

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 195

You deserved it 3 103

Jord_Fox 14

Friday 12 February 2016 15:20

Guess your voice hasn't cracked yet

ThrottleJockey 35

Friday 12 February 2016 17:13

If he starts singing they may just shoot him to stop the auditory attack.

Comments

muis545 21

Friday 12 February 2016 23:14

what kind of **** were you watching, sir?

aeryn97 17

Saturday 13 February 2016 1:16

I'm sorry. I laughed far too much at this. FYL lol

crazypeach 15

Saturday 13 February 2016 9:38

This was on a comedy show a long time ago?

crazypeach 15

Saturday 13 February 2016 9:39

This was a joke on a comedy show a long time ago?

UncleAdolf 6

Saturday 13 February 2016 18:26

The people of the Deutsches Reich should not be subject to that Proletarian Auditory Attack.

GokuSS400 18

Sunday 14 February 2016 15:39

Or flee in terror…

URBeingLied2 23

Sunday 14 February 2016 21:46

I know a guy who sings like that. Poor neighbors yo

yellowzinnias 20

Monday 15 February 2016 1:27

I've had this visit. It was my cat screaming "NO!" every time I tried to make her get off the counter. She also says "yeah" and "mama."

JZY1989 23

Monday 15 February 2016 12:34

better off growling like satan..oh wait nevermind...cops would still be called.

Cheddarface 1

Tuesday 16 February 2016 4:52

You a Rush fan, too?

Keywords

Relatable Students Work Mental health Parenting Kids Awkward Love Embarrassing Wanker Intimacy Family AITA First Dates Singing Cats Animals Weddings Public freakouts Bodyshaming Cops Transportation Cars Sex Sexism Growing old Health Periods Job interview Education

The Top

Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 195

You deserved it 6 413

...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 4

The Top

Today, my $1300 mattress that I bought for my new home was delivered. To my old house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 409

You deserved it 1 644

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 370

You deserved it 6 336

Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 266

You deserved it 35 647

Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 851

You deserved it 2 414

Today, I woke up early to go to church with my parents. When I got in the car, I was struck with the worst diarrhea I've ever had in my life. My parents told me I'd be cleaning the car out when we got there, because if we turned around, we'd be late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 526

You deserved it 3 212

Today, someone stole my coat. I can only imagine their surprise when they find the $3,000 engagement ring I bought earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 141

You deserved it 3 900

Same thing different taste

No more yodelling

Suspicious minds

Crime scene

Top comments

Comments