Intimacy: Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, I discovered two very... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By That_Teenager_ - 14/02/2016 02:48 - United States - Hampshire

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, I discovered two very large warts on one of his feet. I now know what to get him for Valentine's Day. FML

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You deserved it 0

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Keywords

Awkward Love Work Relatable Students Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Health Cheating Friends Teenagers Intimacy Sex Embarrassing Revenge Food Animals Cats Boredom Management Kids Parenting Sexism Parents Weird Miscellaneous Job interview Social Media Jealousy

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Today, and every time I try to talk to my mother about being a lesbian, she just says in the most condescending way, "Oh no you're not sweetie, it’s just a phase." The "phase" has lasted 17 years, including marrying my wife and adopting twin sons, but sure, it’s “just a phase.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 730

You deserved it 229

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 513

You deserved it 7 847

The Top

Today, I wrote out a note to the guy I liked. I went to hand it to him, but he said, "Sorry, that's not mine," and walked away. I was so nervous, I couldn't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 615

You deserved it 290

Today, I was messaging a new friend when she mentioned her dad was cooking dinner that night. I jokingly texted, “Oh no! I’m sorry!” Turns out her dad is a professional chef. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 1 176

Today, I told the guy I have been sort of dating that I want to connect emotionally before sleeping with him. He told me that he already had an emotional connection with his fiancée and was only interested in sleeping with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 410

You deserved it 9 107

Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 536

You deserved it 53 631

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 635

You deserved it 3 914

Today, I had a dream where I was cuddling with a girl. She rolled over to face me, snuggled up into the crook of my neck, then muttered in disgust, "Ugh, your breath stinks!" Cock-blocked in my own dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 737

You deserved it 4 607