Miscellaneous: Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

By areyouserial - 05/12/2011 13:21 - United States

Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 227

You deserved it 3 029

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Same thing different taste

By moopymoplady - 29/11/2011 00:44 - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 278

You deserved it 5 627

By Anonymous - 08/02/2013 21:20 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 190

You deserved it 3 669

By evil Santa - 25/12/2014 03:48 - United States - Solon

Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 141

You deserved it 3 206

The Brian Harvey

By Yougotmail - 17/07/2022 06:00

Today, I managed to run over my own foot with my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 619

Move, bitch! Get out the way!

By FlatFoot - 05/10/2017 07:00 - United States - New York

Today, my dad ran over my foot with his work truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 938

You deserved it 319

By Anonymous - 18/12/2012 05:15 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 866

You deserved it 6 295

By Anonymous - 20/04/2013 01:16 - New Zealand

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a Segway. He still got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 007

You deserved it 9 271

By Anonymous - 17/07/2013 17:38 - United States - Monroe

Today, an old lady steamrolled over my foot with her wheelchair, then laughed as she slowly rolled away, leaving my toes in ruins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 155

You deserved it 3 839

Steady as she goes

By Slippin' - 17/11/2022 17:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I tried to walk on the sidewalk. Actually, it was so slippery that I had to shimmy across it. Then I shimmied too quickly and fell down. Now everything hurts. Maybe next time I should bring a sled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 134

By Anonymous - 22/08/2019 17:00 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I managed to break my ankle by running it over with the wheelchair I've used on a daily basis for the last 6 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 615

You deserved it 176

Goddess_Rummy 13

Monday 5 December 2011 19:04

Is it because you have been naughty this year?

boofgall 16

Monday 5 December 2011 19:09

A Segway? Times sure have changed.

Comments

nick3600 22

Monday 16 September 2013 3:59

Move, bitch. Get out the way.

christianriddle1 5

Sunday 1 June 2014 20:05

Best fml ever

TrustBroke 9

Monday 14 July 2014 19:51

it's always the short stories that are the most interesting

AksentNetharia 12

Monday 22 September 2014 5:49

Too much Happy Wheels?

Angelica124 13

Monday 7 September 2015 1:48

Did this happen at a school in VA?

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Awkward Cars Family Babysitter Relatable Kids Thief Money Health Depression Mental health Wanker Work Bodyshaming Love Vacation Annoying Students Parenting Intimacy First Dates AITA Singing Animals Cats Weddings Public freakouts Cops

The Top

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 163

You deserved it 285

Today, after work, I was saying goodbye to my last remaining friend I worked with because she was going to be leaving for college. My manager saw me talking and made me clock back in and work, because, "If you have time to talk, you have time to work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 642

You deserved it 1 249

The Top

Today, I showed my wife an article about how frequent orgasms can prevent prostate cancer, as well as increase both partners' overall health. She replied that she wouldn't judge me if I masturbated, as long as I don't use porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 422

You deserved it 9 369

Today, I had to repeat myself multiple times and dumb down all my anatomical terms and symptoms while describing my illness to my doctor. I want to switch, but my insurance won’t cover another one for at least 60 more days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 419

You deserved it 158

Today, I came out to my father. He seemed to be totally okay with it, as long as I'm the "man" in my relationships. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 287

You deserved it 9 235

Today, I was on my way home from a friends house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 049

You deserved it 6 719

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 945

You deserved it 6 305

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 945

You deserved it 12 200

Same thing different taste

The Brian Harvey

Move, bitch! Get out the way!

Steady as she goes

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