Intimacy: Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also... - FML

By guest - 01/04/2011 21:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 131

You deserved it 6 673

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Same thing different taste

By TerribleAddiction - 15/02/2012 17:50 - United States

Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 459

You deserved it 3 349

By fmylifebigtime - 25/02/2012 14:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 583

You deserved it 3 483

By Spockx - 06/08/2012 11:20 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 380

You deserved it 2 871

By Anonymous - 31/07/2009 15:10 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I discovered my wife has been smoking weed for the past 2 years before she has sex with me. She said it was the only way she could force herself to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 725

You deserved it 7 170

By cigarettes - 11/12/2014 18:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I take that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 304

You deserved it 13 865

Caught in 4K

By tanksfan - 05/01/2010 05:55 - India

Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 407

You deserved it 41 907

Take care

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 08:02

Spicy

Today, after close to 10 years of marriage, my wife’s health has improved enough she is craving sex again. Just not with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 490

You deserved it 116

By seeminglyunsexy - 14/08/2009 15:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 810

You deserved it 7 991

Technique

By Anonymous - 20/08/2020 23:02

Spicy

Today, I figured out the best way to endure my wife's lack of sex drive: whenever she complains, I lose the urge myself. Works like a charm, because she complains all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 578

You deserved it 252

By Anonymous - 06/09/2009 07:25 - Japan

Today, I broke up with the girl I'd been dating for two months because she started smoking. This is a deal breaker for me. I just found out from her friend that she started smoking for the sole purpose of getting me to break it off and now plans to quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 618

You deserved it 7 886

Next

Top comments

Happygofucky 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 1:25

Don't worry, once the stress from not smoking kicks in she will be begging you for a release. Have fun!

Woodsy007 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 1:39

wow. seriously? it's all about you. I'm so sorry your wife is trying to extend her life and a fantastic thing like quitting smoking. but oh no, it SUCKS being you because your just going to die without sex. boohoo.

Comments

dudehey 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 5:12

welll ****.

allilovee 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 5:20

cmon be supportive. so just live without sex for a few weeks while she's trying to change her life..

tjsomethin 9

Saturday 2 April 2011 5:33

She's just talking bullshit so she can **** your pet dog.

Awahso 25

Saturday 2 April 2011 11:29

Chedder bomb?

TheXTG8680 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 5:37

what state do you live in? how long ya been married? research divorce laws.

Wiggy_78 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 5:39

OMG tangos pic scares me

katiesnuggles 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 5:44

no one asked for your opinion

Bravo11 14

Saturday 2 April 2011 5:53

shaking my head. smh

xDancer101x 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 5:56

maybe she decided to give it up cause someone isn't good at it...

JenL_fml 7

Saturday 2 April 2011 6:00

Shame on you people suggesting and encouraging infidelity and divorce. His wife is only trying to improve her life. It's not a permanent drop. Jeeze, OP, suck it up and get over it. Make your right hand your best friend or something...

DynamicDave 11

Saturday 2 April 2011 6:01

Stop Making Heroin.

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The Top

Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 776

You deserved it 10 108

Today, I have a horribly painful throat infection and can't talk. In spite of this, Dad keeps insisting I call people for him, meaning I have to make use of a text to speech program. Eight out of twelve people I've called on his behalf have hung up, thinking I'm a scambot. Dad is blaming me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 88

The Top

Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 660

You deserved it 398

Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 637

You deserved it 40 737

Today, it's been 14 years since at our wedding my now-husband lost the wedding ring, and we had to rush to buy another, which delayed the wedding and cost us our honeymoon flight and thousands of extra pounds. I just got his old suit out to dry clean. The missing ring was in its box, in his jacket. I'm going to kill him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 252

Today, I tried dying my hair blonde. I put my hair in a bun and waited for it to dye. I guess I did something wrong, because my hair is now 4 different shades of blonde/orange, along with patches of my natural black hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 104

You deserved it 11 969

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 444

You deserved it 4 538

Today, I had a phone interview, my first job interview in months. Two seconds in, I not only lost my signal, my phone froze up and stopped working completely. For six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 82