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By Anonymous - / Sunday 6 September 2009 07:25 / Japan
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You're lucky, actually. Anyone who's too stupid and wimpy to break it off by SMOKING of all things isn't worth your time anyways. So she wanted to break it off with you... why didn't she just say "Hey, it's not working out, I'm breaking up with you" instead of STARTING AN ADDICTIVE SUBSTANCE. FHL

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Of course she should be able to just quit. Most likely she only smoked when she was around him and probably for only a few days or weeks at the most if the sole purpose of her smoking was getting him to leave her.

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She could of, but obviously she isn't that intelligent. Smoking's bad enough, but doing it just so your boyfriend breaks up with you... really? Today's generation worries me. Even though I'm part of it. -.-

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I see, so the OP isn't allowed to have standards? I knew someone would say YDI for being judgmental, but some people find smoking a disgusting habit. Just as you wouldn't want your partner to have some other disgusting habit, so does the OP. And in conclusion, stop being a fucking hypocrite. Judging him for being judgmental is a tad contradictory, don't ya think?

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I didn't judge you, I said it seems contradictory. And secondly, him eating steak doesn't affect your interaction with him. Smoking, however, smells bad to people like the OP, and it kinda tastes bad when you're kissing. And like I said, people have different standards. Kthxbi

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The OP is attracted to whatever he is attracted to, but in this case smoking is just a turn-off. It's not standards or anything, it just turns him off. I mean everyone is turned off by something, and I think we got that after the FMLs about what people say during sex or propose, even though everyone else thought it was funny.

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Not to mention the fact that he has his own health to consider - secondhand smoke can give you cancer and other health problems just like if you smoked yourself, and he might not have been willing to subject his body to that.

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Propaganda about the dangers of secondhand smoke? Hate to break it to you, honey, but it's not exactly an unproven theory. Here's some reading you might find interesting: http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6T12-4WWG380-3&_user=10&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_sort=d&_docanchor=&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=8021da3199d9b532d1ca8740d4becba4 http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19684191?ordinalpos=4&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_DefaultReportPanel.Pubmed_RVDocSum Both are scientific articles from well-respected medical journals. The abstract of the second concludes with, "Non-smokers need to be protected from the harmful effects of secondhand smoke."

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posampo, you've completely misunderstood. The OP doesn't like smokers, that's him. Apparently, he told this to his girlfriend. KNOWING THIS, she started smoking INTENTIONALLY to make him break it off. He dated someone who didn't smoke, and told her he didn't like smoking. There is nothing wrong with breaking it off if your partner does something they KNOW you radically disapprove of. If he hooked up with her while she was doing it (such as your veganism and your partner's meat-eating), then yes you would be in the right. However, that is not the case. She started it knowing he didn't like it, and did it because he didn't like it. He has done nothing wrong. Kind of like... If I disapproved of beer-drinking, and I hooked up with a dry partner, and at some point let them know I disapproved of it. If they started drinking after that, and I mean literally drinking, not just a sip, then I have every right to end it with them simply because they KNEW I didn't like it and did it anyway, meaning they disregarded how I felt (or, in OP's case, she intentionally wanted to piss him off and have him end it). If I disapproved of beer-drinking, but hooked up with someone who did, then I would NOT have the right to end it for that, because I hooked up with them KNOWING they drank, despite my own feelings about it. See what I'm saying? (FYI - No I don't disapprove of beer-drinking, I was just using it as an example)

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the one problem i have with your statement is that smoking is not a "small fragment of one's personality." It has nothing at all to do with personality. It is an action that one makes a conscious decision to engage in and while a person has a right to do whatever they want, no one is compelled to put up with all the decisions their significant other decides to make.

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I don't date people who smoke, its gross and I don't want to live with the smoke and ashes in the house, none the less kissing an ashtray every day. eck! I think when it comes to such things as smoking or drinking and drugs, its something people have full right to be judgmental about, because it affects alot of things. My friend's gf smokes and they can barely pay bills, i can judge her because shes wasting money on cigarettes instead of doing something responsible.

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unproven harm of second hand smoke? lol. that used to be a defense, then it was proven that secondhand smoke is horrible for you, and some stupid pricks just ignore that fact so they can still say it's unsubstantiated. besides, smoking is a huge turn off. I would never date someone that smokes. it's kinda funny actually, smoking is proven to make you die sooner, and it makes you a nasty piece of shit that no one wants to bang. sounds like Darwin strikes again lol.

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its completely understandable.... my boyfriend said he would break up with me if i started smoking... he's told me that my non-smoking is one of the reasons he loves me... and incompletely understand that...

I used to not like girls that smoke until I heard the phrase. "I don't know a girl who smokes and doesn't fuck." Ancient wisdom. I doubt she'll completely quit smoking when you're through -- she'll just transition from cigarettes to pole.

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ugh, actually, nevermind im just being a douche and taking my anger out on the interwebs, sorry bout that, and by the way, all your other comments are totally awesome, its bullshit how he dumped her over something like smoking, i mean my dad absolutely despises smoking but my mum does it and hes okay with that caus hes willing to sacrifice for her

YDI for going out with someone you apparently don't really like at all and dumping them over a life choice which you should be more ready to accept if you really love a person and isn't any of your business anyway

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He's not marrying her! The OP never even mentioned love. And really? Smoking isn't a LIFE choice, especially since the OP's gf only started it to break up with the OP. It wasn't really all that life altering.

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Why go out with someone if you don't love them? It's pretty retarded. And you chose to smoke or you don't. If someone does and you don't want to you can't exactly fault them for it. The fact she started it just to get rid of him is kind of irrelevant in that respect, even though that does make her a massive bitch and a coward.

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Uh, no. I don't think that most people date because they LOVE the person. The way I understand it, you date a person when you're interested in finding out more about them on a more intimate level. You can fall in love after that, definitely, but two months isn't a really long time. Saying that it's retarded for someone to date a person who they're not in love with after two months is a little ridiculous. And I can understand OP leaving the girl for smoking. Smoking doesn't just affect her--if they ended up spending a lot of time together, he'd had to worry about secondhand smoke. There are other physical turn-offs with smoking, too. You can fault someone for it if you want to. Like you said, a person chooses whether or not he/she smokes. It's a bad choice over which they (usually) have total control. OP didn't do anything wrong, in my opinion.

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It's not really judging anyone. It's the same as breaking up with someone because they said that they don't want to have kids. It affects both parties, here. Again, that's my opinion. And most people date TO fall in love with them, not because they're already in love, like #62 said.

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