Today, my son came home from school with a catastrophic report...

By Mina - 08/05/2019 14:00

Today, my son came home from school with a catastrophic report card. When I asked him for explanations, he replied, "I'm hesitating between family environment and heredity." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 717

You deserved it 326

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Tabby - 06/08/2011 20:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 593

You deserved it 3 855

By Anonymous - 06/09/2013 20:36

Today, the mother of one of my students bitched me out about her son's poor grades. He lazes around all day, paying no attention and being a constant nuisance. But, she says it's not his fault, and demands that I give him better grades so he won't get "self-esteem" issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 169

You deserved it 3 447

By Daughter of the year - 11/03/2015 00:19 - Brazil - Rio De Janeiro

Today, while discussing my grades with my mother, she told me that when she was my age she was dumb but hardworking, and my dad was lazy but very smart. She then added, "You managed to get the worst out of each of us." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 803

You deserved it 3 741

By Anonymous - 02/11/2011 14:43 - United States

Today, I overheard my dad telling his work buddy that he's disappointed in his kid. I assumed he meant my brother, for flunking out of school. He meant me, for quitting sports to focus on my studies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 472

You deserved it 3 275

By kindgartin - 23/04/2011 09:26 - Canada

Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 611

You deserved it 8 342

Deal with it

By tough love - 01/11/2022 04:00

Today, my son came running in, saying he had a project due tomorrow. I asked when it was assigned; he said two weeks ago. I refused to help, saying that he failed to act responsibly and had to live with the consequences. Now he's throwing a tantrum and my wife is screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 760

You deserved it 233

By nothowscienceworks - 13/11/2015 07:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had the mother of a five year old come in for parent teacher conferences. When I told her that her son was very smart, but he often made up fantastical stories about his home life, she burst into tears. She then ran out of my office crying, "I knew it! I knew he was a sociopath!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 940

You deserved it 1 730

By Laurel - 25/05/2013 04:37 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 891

You deserved it 9 068

By worldsmosthonestdad - 12/05/2017 14:00

Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 069

You deserved it 563

Grades go both ways

By tomandjerry - 21/05/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, I was scolding my 8 year-old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight "A"s like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair. When I asked why, he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 914

You deserved it 66 539

Akitakat 31

Wednesday 8 May 2019 15:19

Either way, that’s smart ass speak for... “It’s your fault!”

TCRII 29

Wednesday 8 May 2019 17:55

Say you are hesitating between military school and military school.

Comments

Akitakat 31

Wednesday 8 May 2019 15:19

Either way, that’s smart ass speak for... “It’s your fault!”

TCRII 29

Wednesday 8 May 2019 17:55

Say you are hesitating between military school and military school.

slapstick1982 20

Wednesday 8 May 2019 18:05

Hilarious

TxKitten79 10

Wednesday 8 May 2019 18:32

Lmao. My son would be in serious trouble for the report card. Grounded for the comment. But honestly in private my husband and I would laugh our butts off at the creativity.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 9 May 2019 0:16

Apparently, he didn’t inherit any personal responsibility.

stormy0307 16

Thursday 9 May 2019 14:37

We are getting to the point that kids who grew up with no personal responsibility are parents now. So the lack of responsibility will only get worse.

tounces7 27

Thursday 9 May 2019 4:28

I mean...is he right?

alycion 38

Thursday 9 May 2019 12:10

As someone who would give smart ass replies like that when I got in trouble in class, let me translate. I’m bored with my classes. Whether it just doesn’t interest him or he finds the work easy is another matter.