Miscellaneous: Today, my name is Tim with a middle name Allen. I learned my...

You weren't named after Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, you were named after Tim Allen. But I agree with everyone else, Tim Allen is great. Fun fact: in 1978 Tim Allen was arrested for trafficking cocaine.

Keywords

Awkward Cars Embarrassing Transportation Babysitter Family Relatable Kids Thief Money Health Depression Mental health Wanker Work Bodyshaming Love Annoying Vacation Students Parenting Intimacy First Dates AITA Singing Animals Cats Weddings Public freakouts Cops

The Top

Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 195

You deserved it 6 414

Today, I found out that my toxic mother-in-law's retirement plans include moving in with us when she gets old. The death glares I’m getting from my wife right now are so worth the satisfaction I got from telling that evil old bat I’d burn the house down first before I let her move into it with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 87

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about our past relationships. He told me that he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was smart and he suited someone who was quite stupid. He then went on to say that I was perfect for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 553

You deserved it 6 735

Today, I was at a concert. During the concert, my shoelaces went undone, so I bent down to tie them. Not two seconds later, the girl behind me jumped on my shoulders and refused to get down. She said "tall guys" are the best to ride on during concerts. My name is Maria. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 579

You deserved it 4 106

Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 296

You deserved it 4 007

Today, as soon as I got home, my girlfriend was waiting for me at the door. She told me she was breaking up with me, the reason? She found a girl's shirt in my closet and that she didn't need a cheating boyfriend. That shirt was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 426

You deserved it 12 469

Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 263

You deserved it 2 677

Today, I told my long-distance boyfriend that I'd like to throw my legs over my head and have him cram his dick deep inside me. He told me to order a pizza, "It'd be more fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 215