Love: Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and...

By joe - 31/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 708

You deserved it 26 834

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 360

You deserved it 22 609

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 127

By bTOhno - 13/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 053

You deserved it 4 731

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 979

You deserved it 7 499

By Anonymous - 12/08/2012 09:23 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 143

You deserved it 2 360

By filipinoclari808 - 16/04/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 789

You deserved it 81 425

By goddamitme - 21/02/2009 19:23 - United States

Today, My girlfriend came from behind me and put her hand in my back pockets. I though it was someone trying to take my wallet, I elbowed her in the nose and broke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 120

You deserved it 12 931

By Anonymous - 21/10/2014 15:49 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 816

You deserved it 7 800

By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 120

You deserved it 15 177

By Anonymous - 17/02/2010 20:44 - United States

Today, I was in school and spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her I broke her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 386

You deserved it 37 846

infantrygirl 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 5:40

Lindsey, what the hell do you mean by that?? First, 99.9999% of military men and women would NOT overreact like that, so your comment is unfair. Second, if he is in the military, and he has PTSD, you, as an ignorant civvi, have NO right to judge him. Learn some respect for those who risk their lives for your freedom.

Big_Pick 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 0:15

My natural instincts are to scream like a girl and run away. It's a miracle my species has survived.

Comments

dragonstrike94 8

Wednesday 28 September 2011 4:27

I have the same kinda problem. I almost broke my friends arm when he surprised me

ssoccerchick97 16

Thursday 13 October 2011 23:05

God. What the hell makes that an instinct? Army, maybe?

lbodham 5

Monday 28 November 2011 7:48

any kind of law enforcement or military background would make this an instinct... my fiance always tells me to be careful what i do when hes not really paying attention... shit happens..

Aardvark_Embassy 0

Tuesday 29 November 2011 20:18

Yes, because that's what everyone does when someone delicately touches their face.

gman90210 18

Sunday 8 January 2012 16:49

Trust isn't the issue when grabbed from behind instinct after years of training takes over almost if not before you even think about it by then to late