Love: Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on...

By Anonymous - 09/01/2012 02:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 097

You deserved it 3 950

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Surprise!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 16:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 063

You deserved it 111

By Anonymous - 25/10/2012 09:58 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my boyfriend found a take-out menu under my bed. It's probably been there for months. He looked at it and said, "Well, that explains a lot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 711

You deserved it 4 693

By lamortdeshommes - 28/06/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 937

You deserved it 8 306

By Lilie - 17/12/2008 10:25 - France

Today, my boyfriend came round to drop off some underwear, which I'd left at his house. Not all of what he brought was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 363

You deserved it 2 508

Good one

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:06 - United Kingdom - London

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 294

You deserved it 4 385

By Eet- - 13/10/2011 19:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 197

You deserved it 4 247

By k.love - 22/06/2010 12:59 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to surprise him with breakfast only to find that his other girlfriend had beat me to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 542

You deserved it 4 360

By Anonymous - 03/05/2016 21:47 - United States - Eugene

Today, I got off work early to go home and surprise my girlfriend with lunch, only to come home to her in the middle of packing up all of her stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 920

You deserved it 1 278

I'm surprised

By Anonymous - 29/02/2024 14:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his house. Apparently, I ruined the surprise party he'd planned for me, and now he’s upset with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 105

By Noname - 17/01/2009 13:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me, asking if I had left my underwear over at his place. No, no I didn't. They weren't mine. Awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 301

You deserved it 2 142

steviesnm 6

Monday 9 January 2012 8:52

Do you have a dog? They're pretty good at leaving surprises on driveways also.

StoryOfTheYear 14

Monday 9 January 2012 8:55

Not quite a new Lexus?

Comments

Annebear 6

Friday 13 January 2012 4:22

That's actually quite funny

nabila21 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:30

SCORE!!!! FREE MAYO!!! (^U^) (/^U^)/

UnevenElephant 1

Tuesday 17 January 2012 23:53

Well...I bet it surprised you...

llamalullabies 0

Tuesday 24 January 2012 1:45

That's really funny haha :D

EmilyStrauch 8

Wednesday 25 January 2012 6:55

I actually find your boyfriend to be quite adorkable(:

alexalyles 6

Wednesday 22 February 2012 19:51

and what exactly would you do with that???

LaChelleG 0

Monday 5 March 2012 2:16

what the??

swag_unicorn 4

Sunday 12 August 2012 8:10

hahaha im so gonna do that

CheyenneDawn23 1

Sunday 16 December 2012 0:57

37 keyman1212- " " aren't called parenthesis. Get out of the kool aid if you don't know the flavor ahole

dexdex 8

Monday 27 May 2013 14:29

If you got some hard boiled eggs, then you can enjoy some mayoneggs!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while trying to spice up our marriage, we decided to get a hotel room and roleplay as strangers who meet in a bar and have a one night stand. By the time I got there, he was engrossed in the football and on the beer. He didn't notice me arrive and when he did, he was too drunk to get the roleplay right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 274

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 837

You deserved it 30 762

The Top

Today, I went to the hospital due to vomiting and abdominal pain, and they decided to fit me with an IV drip. It took several tries by two different people to get the cannula in. I feel like a human pin-cushion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 828

You deserved it 4 499

Today, while away on training with the army, my housemates rang me to tell me some news. They had found a perfect house for next year and they had put an offer on it. The only problem? There are 5 of us and the house is for 4. Guess who hasn't been included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 724

You deserved it 1 301

Today, after I went to Mexico for its museums, when I try to share my experience with other guys, they all think I went there for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 260

Today, I learned that there are people who actually, unironically believe that Danny Masterson is innocent. Faith in humanity: Gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 249

Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 114

Today, I’m in India. As a good foreigner, I want to adapt myself and to do everything like the locals. I tried to get off the bus while it was still rolling. I lost a pair of jeans, a knee and my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530