Today, I woke up this morning… again. Fuck my life and the day... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Flying J - 11/02/2023 07:35

Today, I woke up this morning… again. Fuck my life and the day it was conceived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 60

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Top comments

lalalaila777 24

Wednesday 12 July 2023 3:09

did you do something to not wake up and it failed?

Wonderful Life 2

Wednesday 15 February 2023 13:06

Same!

Comments

Wonderful Life 2

Wednesday 15 February 2023 13:06

Same!

anonabri 3

Sunday 30 April 2023 2:15

same

lalalaila777 24

Wednesday 12 July 2023 3:09

did you do something to not wake up and it failed?

Keywords

Management Work Jealousy Love Relatable Mental health Relationship advice Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food Money Birthday Family Gifts Mother in law Parents Public freakouts Education Exams Students Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

The Top

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 048

You deserved it 39 411

Today, I found out you can’t lie about having a Master’s Degree in order to get a job. I paid a friend $500 to make a very real looking Master’s diploma from an accredited school. My plan worked well, until they asked me for my official transcripts. Meaning it has to come from the institution directly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 1 295

The Top

Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 080

You deserved it 787

Today, I'm so poor that I had to surrender my well-loved dog to a different family so that he’ll have a good life, all while I live out of my car in the ghetto, paycheck to paycheck. My dog was also my service dog for medical alerts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 113

Today, I was having a mass lecture, for 3 classes combined, all microphones muted. I wanted to go to the toilet, so I connected my headphones, and I did my job massively while listening to the teacher. Suddenly, the teacher said, "Oh, close your mic for the love of god." 85 students heard me taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 2 085

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 177

You deserved it 9 269

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 050

You deserved it 3 079

Today, right now, my husband is on the phone with his friend. Last night I had a dream I was cheating on him with this friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 792