Who says piss pipes and poop choutes ? But seriously why not go out side and do something about it instead of complaining about it

go to the dollar store and buy a lot of black pepper. sprinkle it generously over your entire lawn. dogs will sniff before they get ready to poop. after they get a snort full of pepper they will leave your yard alone. reapply every 10-14 days or after it rains.

Fences exist for a reason op. Put one up. And not one of those ridiulous chain link things either, actual wooden fencing of decent construction. Also, go out and demand that your neighbor stop allowing his dogs to crap and pee on your lawn . If you own the property, then he is basically tresspassing if nothing else, or his animals are. I'm fairly sure most places have laws against this. Do something about it. You could also get a supersoaker and squirt the dogs if they come onto your garden. Include some lemon juice in the water. After getting blasted with this mixture a few times they will be reluctant to come and do anything on your land. The same method can be used on your neighbor. He can't complain, he is the one doing something wrong ( and possibly illegal ) .

The landlines don't sound like such a bad idea...

Have you tried talking to him? If it didn't work, I got a couple of other suggestions: You live in the states, right? Put up a sign saying "trespassers will be shot", and when he enters with his dogs, shoot him with paint balls (don't hit the dogs, though, it's not like it's their fault). Scoop up the dog poo, and put it in his yard. Preferably somewhere annoying, like in front of his door. Buy a very obnoxiuos animal a let it loose in his yard. Someone else on fml.com had a pet pig that ate his neighbours flowers - that might work. Or just report him to the police for trespassing and littering on your property.

The landmine part made me laugh hahaha.

Get a paintball gun and go jihad on your neighbor. SHOW MO MERCY!

Build a poop cannon and shoot the shit back at him.

I have to agree with the majority - stop whining and do something about the situation - scraping them all up and dumping them on your neighbor's lawn sounds good, the flaming bag 'o dog crap is always a winner, the supersoaker to squirt the dogs is a goodie (but don't hurt the dogs, they do not know what they are doing is wrong) call the police a few times might do the trick, going next door and banging the shit out of his wife or teenage daughter or both while the dogs are crapping might teach him a thing or two, or my personal favorite - go next door, ask to use his bathroom and leave him a nice big upper decker (see urban dictionary if you do not kow what this is) - go get 'em Tiger

Pour leftover bacon grease on the turds. The problem is solved.