Health: Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after...

By dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 085

You deserved it 3 651

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Same thing different taste

By what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god - 05/04/2013 18:51 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 688

You deserved it 4 833

Freakout

By DisgustingCreatures - 04/08/2016 18:53 - United States - Houston

Today, I was peacefully using the toilet when I heard a familiar crunching sound behind me. After shooting up and frantically looking around, I hesitantly closed the toilet lid - just in time to see a black cockroach slip into a crevice of the toilet. The thing was close enough to go up my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 604

You deserved it 1 160

By Anonymous - 21/12/2013 21:50 - United States - Wexford

Today, I thought it was a good idea to flush the stink bug I found in my kitchen. Later I went in the bathroom to take a crap, and next thing I know, I feel a stink bug on my privates. I guess it didn't flush after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 011

You deserved it 8 718

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 949

You deserved it 4 785

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 765

You deserved it 6 742

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 468

You deserved it 4 808

By Anonymous - 23/10/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 267

You deserved it 4 592

By lingadoo - 07/12/2012 05:46 - Kuwait - Kuwait

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 057

You deserved it 4 849

By Sarah-grace - 17/05/2016 22:20 - United States - Benton

Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 798

You deserved it 1 506

buys case of Listerine

By Sick Guy - 24/03/2018 20:30 - United States - Boynton Beach

Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 934

You deserved it 350

SSJ5Goku 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 23:08

...Which would you prefer?

TripleJumpMan 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 23:08

what the hell

Comments

Nic_hole 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 2:31

oh goodness...

Americunt 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 2:34

Hopefully it was Papa roach and not Mama roach.

KamilleBlack 3

Sunday 17 January 2010 2:37

XD Poor Roach but u would have killed it either way. It most like was there before u crapped. Poor think just wanted to go for a swim, he never knew he'd be taking a mud bath xD Classic!

Newbie21 1

Sunday 17 January 2010 2:47

eww gross lol

NorfolkDude 2

Sunday 17 January 2010 3:11

The real FML isn't the roach but the fact that you GOT UP and LOOKED at your own crap before flushing. I mean wtf? That's disgusting. Flush that bastard by reaching your hand to the flusher while sitting. Maybe that's why there are roaches crawling out of your ass cause you're nastier than a one legged stripper.