By fuck but no fuck - 02/08/2013 19:44 - South Africa - Pretoria

Spicy
Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks 52 053
You deserved it 28 330
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

littlexlune 16

Better luck next time!

188 9

Comments

littlexlune 16

Better luck next time!

188 9
Uramonkey 11

Hey at least it's pretty easy to get an erection again!

14 4
buddy51 23

Not so easy, I bet, when you've got several bleeding lacerations on the head and shaft..... unless, of course, he's into that.

41 0
tatsumahyuu 5

Lol I am someone who is like that...

0 22
zinoxity 23

Or next time you could just get him to put it on himself, perhaps. XD

27 0
abekj52 9

sex stories from 12 year olds warm my heart

35 2
lyvingvamp 15

It will get better OP! Then you can move on to accidentally swallowing the condom.

129 4
cmayer 20

Not gonna lie, I gagged at the mental image.

27 2
skyeyez9 24

Sounds like something Noor would say.

3 14
beclaurela 17

Ah, just like the episode of Grey's Anatomy

1 4
buddy51 23

More like FHP.... Or B(andage)HP(enis)....

11 76
nnnope 26

*gives 28 a "you tried" star*

112 3
angeluv_2014 22

awwwww is all I could say when i read this

5 22
tygerarmy 35

OP should kiss it and make it better.

64 0
Uramonkey 11

54 - Maybe that will get his erection back!

5 3
fatmcfatty 13

next time use you mouth its sexy and you wont nick his penis with your nails

121 12
Blackcatluck 19

Use her mouth to put a condom on? Now that takes skill

85 3
naxeeb 33

Just hope she doesn't bite it by accident :P

73 1
EsotericBrent 29

Just watch the teeth -- the last thing you want is a tiny hole in the thing

82 0
UndeadMongrel 7

Not a good idea you can accidentally break the condom doing that

39 1
doitlikeabrotha 10

#13 It actually doesn't at all, you've obviously never tried it, I think it's easier than hands

14 52
Jezzikah 11

The lube on them doesn't taste the greatest tho

13 1
iAlissa 34

#49, considering #13 is a guy, I don't think he has tried it.

38 5
dancinwookie 21

That's why you use only your lips at first to roll it down. Then roll it down the rest of the way with your hand, if you can't figure it out. I don't keep long nails for this exact reason. I dunno how you could mangle a penis like that though just putting on a condom.

13 3
yellowaholic 25

One time I tried to put the condom on with my mouth and it grossed my boyfriend out, because apparently "touching a condom with your mouth is disgusting".

17 1
fatmcfatty 13

well then something is wrong with your boyfriend.

9 2
naxeeb 33

It's okay OP. No one expects it to be perfect on the first go! I'm sure you'll get better with more practice :P

29 2
M3DIC4T3 29

I wonder how long OP's nails are... I also wonder why he continued to allow OP to try putting the condom on, resulting in him being nicked again?

17 0
fatmcfatty 13

Nic me once shame on you. Nic me twice shame on you. Nic me a third time **** this I am done with you

7 0
Blackcatluck 19

Although I feel sorry for the penises that she's gonna practice on

56 3
Matrix159 13

I think he needed a different kind of protection...

76 0
Bano360 25

I think that feels nice to be honest.

2 50
Bano360 25

No I think it's just glamour nails I like, that's all :)

1 27
LeFrogDog 27

in this stiuation let him put it on and no hand jobs

46 1
morganrules123 10

Why didn't he put in on after the first time?

93 2
Metallica36176 16

That's exactly what I thought. Id rather just arouse a guy and then kiss/dance or something while HE puts it on. I know how, but guys are better at it. BUT....at least it would be an easy fix for OP. Just because a guy loses an erection doesn't mean he can't get it back. Cut your damn nails and file them to where they aren't sharp, lick/rub the wounds to make sure theyre ok, hand him the condom, and keep yourself busy while he puts on. Don't give up OP!

14 4