Work: Today, I was so tired that when I sat down on my office chair,...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By MyTailboneHurts - 18/12/2016 21:29

Today, I was so tired that when I sat down on my office chair, my hand automatically tried to fasten the non-existent seat belt. I also managed to entirely miss the chair with my butt a couple of times when trying to sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 44

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Awkward Love Work Relatable Students Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Health Cheating Teenagers Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Revenge Boredom Animals Cats Management Parenting Kids Sexism Parents Weird Miscellaneous Job interview Facebook Social Media

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Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 118

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 164

The Top

Today, I went out to my car only to find my battery had died the night before. With the wind chill, it was -20°F outside. With the hood open, and jumper cables in one hand, I tried to flag down a passing motorist for help. A man in a truck slowed down, sarcastically waved at me, and kept driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 153

You deserved it 2 996

Today, my son finally revealed the reason he was always blasting music as a teenager was to drown out the sound of his father and I arguing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 1 545

Today, in the middle of a pandemic, which has made it impossible for me to get a job for the last 4 months, my landlord has decided the one thing I need is a rental increase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 797

You deserved it 196

Today, my young son swung a plastic pipe, it makes a kind of whistling sound as it spins around. I was standing a little too close, luckily it missed both my legs, but hit my happy sacks full on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 403

You deserved it 5 503

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 772

You deserved it 30 040

Today, I was packing up my stuff about to go home. I shut off my MacBook but was still pretending to work for the last few minutes, typing on the keyboard. A good way through, I realized my co-worker sitting across from me could see that the Apple logo was off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 226

You deserved it 47 238