Miscellaneous: Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet...

By woohoo420 - 04/04/2012 16:14 - United States - Chino Hills

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 651

You deserved it 41 455

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Same thing different taste

By fatti11 - 14/01/2017 18:00

Today, during an argument that he couldn't win, my boyfriend farted in a glass, covered it with his hand, ran to me, and let it go it right in front of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 862

You deserved it 1 131

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 336

You deserved it 32 285

By Anonymous - 11/09/2012 19:16 - Sweden - Guayanilla

Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 317

You deserved it 4 378

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 297

You deserved it 5 061

By mandygeegoesnom - 29/02/2012 05:30 - United States

Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 132

You deserved it 2 530

By margretlle - 26/04/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 737

You deserved it 8 408

By fartz - 31/08/2013 06:04 - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 516

You deserved it 8 099

By ANNIEDBD - 23/03/2012 09:44 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 031

You deserved it 2 129

By Anonymous - 17/06/2017 22:00 - United States - Holland

Today, after an argument, my boyfriend called me a fart knocker and gave me a wedgie. Apparently, I'm dating an 10-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 585

You deserved it 1 046

By silentbutdeadly - 27/04/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 995

You deserved it 77 604

buck33 14

Wednesday 4 April 2012 22:31

No, it was the parakeet.

LuxAeterna_fml 0

Wednesday 4 April 2012 22:51

14 - Are you high?

Comments

michael666 7

Thursday 5 April 2012 4:32

people like you give us stoners a bad name, and who ever said its unnattractive when girls smoke is wrong, its hot as hell.

MigraineurOfLife 15

Thursday 5 April 2012 4:51

Hope the boyfriend videoed the whole episode & puts it on YouTube!

auzz1_pride 9

Thursday 5 April 2012 4:51

And your boyfriend didn't record you? what a useless tool.

dbreitenfeld 0

Thursday 5 April 2012 4:57

Hugs not drugs

MelissaMarie89 8

Thursday 5 April 2012 4:58

I really laughed reading this one it's stupid and funny!!!!

aaronlopez20 4

Thursday 5 April 2012 5:07

haha thats soooo funny :)

jonez_03 2

Thursday 5 April 2012 5:09

Weed is great and I'm an A and B double major university student. Nothing wrong with a plant that relieves me from my everyday chronic pain of fibromyalgia :) live your own lives people and don't preach or judge it's rude and condescending. You're no better.