Transportation: Today, I was in the grocery store buying a few things. A sales...

By Anonymous - 03/05/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, I was in the grocery store buying a few things. A sales associate came over the intercom system saying, "Attention Safeway customers. If you drive a blue Subaru, it's rolling into 18th Ave." Everyone laughed except me. I forgot to set the brake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 723

You deserved it 48 525

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Amanda - 11/08/2009 05:52 - United States

Today, I went to Safeway. Go in, get stuff, come out, and I have almost no room to get into my car because an SUV was parked in a compact spot next to me all crooked. Irritated, I got a pen and paper and wrote 'Nice parking you F*ing idiot' and stuck it on the windshield. Then I notice someone was in the SUV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 175

You deserved it 46 512

Customer service is hell

By Helpful Smile - 20/05/2014 23:50 - United States - Davenport

Today, after my bosses excitedly told me I'm getting promoted to customer service at our grocery store, a customer called me an idiot in the parking lot for accidentally backing into the shopping cart she left in my blind spot. So it begins… FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 126

You deserved it 5 400

Beep Beep Who's Got the Keys to the Jeep

By Loser - 12/08/2017 03:30 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I lost my keys while at the supermarket. I franticly back-tracked through the store, asking everyone I saw along the way. They eventually showed up, right where I left them... in my unattended car, the engine still running. There was an announcement made over the PA system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 135

You deserved it 3 385

By Anonymous - 21/02/2010 11:58 - New Zealand

Today, at the supermarket, I ignored the "Riding on trolleys down the ramp is strictly prohibited" sign. While going full speed down the ramp, my trolley with $200 worth of groceries in it tipped and crashed. Luckily, I broke its fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 998

You deserved it 48 012

By scarlet5000 - 26/09/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, there was a traffic accident on the highway which I normally take. I couldn't resist laughing at the driver since he was stupid enough to rear-end someone on the highway. What I didn't realize is that I forgot to pay attention to the road and rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 223

You deserved it 75 583

By whoneedsdumbcars - 14/08/2009 08:29 - United States

Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 387

You deserved it 39 714

By whatthewoah - 02/09/2010 18:10 - United States

Today, I went to the bookstore. While I was in line, I heard everyone talking about how a book cart had gotten loose and rolled down the parking lot into a car, smashing the front. It was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 128

You deserved it 2 230

By Chops - 09/03/2009 06:35 - United States

Today, I was walking from my office to the place i had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. As I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99 807

You deserved it 4 419

By Anonymous - 02/01/2016 07:04 - United States - Burbank

Today, I was driving a little over the speed limit, when I saw a cop car waiting to join the road ahead of me. I quickly hit the brakes so they wouldn't have a payday with me. I hit the brakes too hard, lost control and almost ended up on someone's lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 552

You deserved it 25 221

Coming through!

By Fender bender - 10/09/2022 05:30 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I was driving around a parking lot, looking for an empty spot. Someone was backing out a bit too quickly as I was about to pass by, so I honked to announce myself. The driver instead panicked and reversed into my front bumper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 215

lml86 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 11:43

Wow, that is awesome! One time a student at my university did the same thing in the parking lot of our library. It was about to roll into another car. They had to announce it repeatedly over the intercom so I'm guessing it didn't end well.

TheCheeseMan 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 11:38

Wow how did you manage to do something like that?! YDI.

Comments

Phobic_fml 14

Wednesday 6 May 2009 8:23

funny, but heard it before.

Cherlindrea 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 17:25

My dad, also who owned a blue Subaru, did the same thing when I was little. Only his found its way against a telephone pole as he did this at home and no one noticed till the next morning. I'm sure he feels your pain.

bsaucedo 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 22:20

do u live in san francisco ?

sb_rph 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 6:34

i'm sorry, safeway still exists???? LMAO! didn't it get bought out already??

gowzer90 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 22:00

safeway got bought over by morrisons and all safeway shops changed to morrisons. this is a few years old story. hope youv learned how to park by now

hayleyukulele 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 2:39

uh...safeway is still around. wtf?

25gt 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 13:46

pooor subaru hope it didnt hit anything!!!

FMLsingledad 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 16:01

I use to work as a undercover ORC agent and caught two kids stealing tires off a ladies car. he tried running but tripped over the Jack and knocked himself unconscious... a lot of strange things go on at safe way!

CrazyInsane 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 1:03

my car has run away before from my careless self forgetting to put my car in gear.. my ebrake doesn't work so I gotta keep it in gear when I'm not in it. it's really bad when I accidentally hit the remote start when it's in gear...