Health: Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when...

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 09:37 - Australia

Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when I reached down and accidentally got the tip of a steak knife wedged half-way under my fingernail. My mum yelled at me for getting blood on the clean dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 471

You deserved it 3 845

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Prae - 01/10/2012 05:47 - United States - Dallas

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 665

You deserved it 2 105

By zztopspinner - 14/03/2012 19:11 - United States

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 707

You deserved it 36 517

Not my day, is it?

By ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 723

You deserved it 341

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 970

Let it bleed

By breza - 01/07/2022 14:00 - Slovenia

Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 159

Spice

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 04:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 956

911 please

By hurts - 04/05/2009 18:48 - Canada

Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 664

You deserved it 4 993

Tense family drama

By Anonymous - 03/09/2022 10:00

Today, my parents kept overreacting over stupid stuff during dinner. I found a hair in a dish, so I removed it myself. My mom goes, "Is that a hair? Is it?! I'll get rid of it!" I told her that I'd already done it myself. Then, because I bit my nail once, my dad constantly kept asking if I was OK, even though I'd said I was. He wouldn't stop! FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 204

By 5p4571k - 25/05/2014 17:35 - Canada - Chilliwack

Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 960

You deserved it 7 575

Gammon

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 06:00

Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 915

Mauskau 35

Monday 20 September 2010 16:25

always put knives in blade down

emmaleeislamee 0

Monday 20 September 2010 16:21

Wow, you're mum seems like such a nice lady.

Comments

ImApencil 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 3:27

I can reach for pointy objects without looking cause I'm invincible. so what you got a cut. just wrap it up so you won't get blood all over the dishes and infect or get someone sick. suck it up OP.

Swimmer248 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 3:54

Ydi for owning a knife ydi for having dishes ydi for having fingers ydi for being stupid ydi for posting on fml

Swimmer248 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 3:57

I am sorry. I just felt like doing ydis. .

Trollz4daLULZ 1

Tuesday 21 September 2010 23:45

Everybody wants to be me. Well, you can't! So just give up! And pay me some damned royalties for stealing my schtick (and doing it poorly!)!

KupkakeKitten 8

Tuesday 21 September 2010 4:11

aww that sucks, but for knifed you should put them point DOWN, that's what I do...

jjrebel26 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 4:32

ydi for saying mum

ArielTheMermaid 17

Wednesday 22 June 2011 19:34

America is probably the only country that says mom. if you could read or were aware of other cultures you'd know that OP is from Australia, where they say mum. derp

buddyweiser 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 4:49

I've had this happen to me except I got a wood splinter under my toenail stuck all the way through, I feel it pain

RPattzs_gurl 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 5:49

YDI for getting the dishes dirty with your blood. Nah jk FYL for having a mom like that.

JasonFridayThe13 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 5:52

haaaaaaha

heyhihellogoodby 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 6:52

what a bitch.

cmac86 23

Tuesday 21 September 2010 8:43

I hope the knife is all right!

LilaBear 1

Tuesday 21 September 2010 10:40

ouchie. I once passed out in the kitchen and collapsed onto the open dishwasher. The door was open and the bottom drawer with all the cutlery poking up was pulled out. I continue to thank my lucky stars that I missed the knives (and forks for that matter) and hit the actual door, not the cutlery, and only ended up with a minor cut on my lip.