Work: Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened...

By waterdog - 18/04/2011 20:12 - United States

Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 598

You deserved it 4 352

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Same thing different taste

By Jehovah God - 07/03/2014 18:51 - United States - Richmond

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 372

You deserved it 3 613

He started it, sorry

By Anonymous - 13/04/2022 15:01 - United States

Today, a drunk in a wheelchair tried to fight me. I walked away as he kept hurling insults. He then rammed his chair into my legs, making me fall. I walked away again. Upon the second time, I got up and punched him dead in his face, knocking him backward. I was tackled to the ground for hitting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 144

By webperson04 - 27/07/2009 19:07 - United States

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 412

You deserved it 3 601

By keerta_fml - 04/05/2017 02:00

Today, while volunteering to feed the homeless, one of them asked me to follow him to his car where he had a knife and bottle so he could "bottle up my blood". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 791

You deserved it 418

By Anonymous - 09/11/2010 11:13 - India

Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 931

You deserved it 6 047

By JimmyT - 03/03/2013 22:21 - Norway - Bergen

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 575

You deserved it 14 281

By Laura - 20/03/2012 22:27 - United Kingdom - Girvan

Today, I was at a concert and a man came up behind and started to grind me. I pushed him away. He came back and pissed on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 821

You deserved it 3 690

By Chris Chandler - 02/11/2018 17:30

Today, I was so parched I had to take way too long at the water fountain. I was drinking for so long a line started to form. As I finished my drink, the guy behind me puked on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 405

You deserved it 522

By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 15:21 - United States

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 295

You deserved it 3 851

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 243

You deserved it 365

sansteth94 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 0:39

tell him to PISS off...your leg lol

mfmylifesrsly 29

Tuesday 19 April 2011 0:53

What the world doesn't need is your lack of spelling and grammar.

Comments

caviar_fml 2

Tuesday 19 April 2011 11:47

pretty sure taking fluids from a drunk isn't a good idea hey

4Lonely2Stoner0 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 14:26

I would've punched them both out

MyScrewedUpLifeS 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 14:54

how is she acting like one? I love ya iJustLol! (in a non-creepy way)

MyScrewedUpLifeS 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 14:54

how is she acting like one? I love ya iJustLol! (in a non-creepy way)

MyScrewedUpLifeS 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 14:54

how is she acting like one? I love ya iJustLol! (in a non-creepy way)

biskit10 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:12

lol

hrggirlls 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 22:54

and WHY were you drawing his blood?!?!

Chanistheman19 5

Wednesday 20 April 2011 3:14

she understands. it's that she just wants to know where she works. simple question with a simple answer!

Madmattmania 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 3:21

ur said

xo_kat_xo 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 3:45

uh ewww but it sounds fake

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Gamers Love Video games Gross Weird Health First Dates Smells Parents Technology Kids Annoying Jealousy Animals Dogs AITA Pranks Dreams Family Geek Relatable Gun control Money Amazon Birthday Cute Awkward Abuse Social Media Scams

The Top

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 2 169

Today, I lost all hope of finding a man. I’m gonna be 34 and I can’t get a date to save my life. I was cursed with a facial deformity and 285lbs of weight, making all men run for the hills. All of my younger sisters have got married and started families. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 205

The Top

Today, I had to put up with a student who stubbornly insisted that King Solomon was, in fact, a Pokémon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 626

You deserved it 3 085

Today, I told my mom I loved her a lot. Her reply? "Thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 496

You deserved it 4 229

Today, I sent a question to a newspaper self-help column about how I often feel ignored. I quickly received a note telling me to not feel ignored, but due to the volume of questions, I would likely not receive a response. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 976

You deserved it 352

Today, a brief survey of everyone I know revealed that everyone, including my parents, sibling, and best friends, thinks I'm gay. I had to do the first reverse coming out in history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 429

You deserved it 446

Today, I got a job. My parents have decided it's now a better idea to take money from my paycheck instead of grounding me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 535

You deserved it 6 181

Today, this guy I've been dating for a few months freaked out and called his mom crying, because I told him I might be pregnant with his baby. He is 27. I haven't even taken a pregnancy test yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 890

You deserved it 30 989

Same thing different taste

He started it, sorry

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