Miscellaneous: Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork...

By RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) - 17/12/2014 18:47 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 887

You deserved it 6 630

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Same thing different taste

Spooky

By Scaredwitless - 28/01/2011 04:35 - United States

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 901

You deserved it 6 012

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 468

You deserved it 4 808

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 134

You deserved it 47 917

By Oh dear - 05/07/2012 22:15 - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines - Kingstown

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 612

You deserved it 2 724

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 05:26

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 431

You deserved it 4 697

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 765

You deserved it 6 742

By Anonymous - 20/06/2015 01:22 - United States

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 890

You deserved it 14 194

By Tressa95 - 25/02/2018 18:30 - United States - Belleville

Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 675

You deserved it 305

Splat!

By Anonymous - 11/05/2020 14:00

Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 543

You deserved it 207

Humpty Dumpy

By traumatized - 12/04/2014 18:07 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 436

You deserved it 9 394

Ghost_Kaulitz 16

Thursday 18 December 2014 0:20

Your roommate is my spirit animal.

tzemmy 25

Thursday 18 December 2014 0:24

what if you really were bleeding though the ass and didn't see it through the ketchup?

Comments

joyboy390 12

Thursday 18 December 2014 4:03

Im sure you left out the part where you played a prank on your roommate. And hey be glad it was just that lol my roommates and i trade blows with things like snakes in your cloths drawers snapping turtle in the shower and fireworks for alarm clocks lol. Be glade you dont live in our house. Now you just need to think of a creative way to get them back. Might i suggest a bucket of worms and some water and dirt above a door so as they open the door it dumps all over them or would that be too much?

brookiesawr 11

Thursday 18 December 2014 4:12

Firstly, why would you admire your crap? Secondly, ketchup and blood does not look the same in water. Take it from a girl.

PennyLane27 32

Thursday 18 December 2014 10:24

Sometimes, it's an accomplishment!

mommy2cassidy 18

Sunday 21 December 2014 8:30

Maybe he just saw red in the bowl and freaked out? Also, I admire mine all the time.

joyboy390 12

Thursday 18 December 2014 4:14

If you want a nicer payback i would suggest taking his drink when he isnt looking and fill the straw with ketchup or anything else really ranch works good too and put in back in his drink. The look on his face will be priceless so make sure to record it so you can watch it over and over for your enjoyment and to remind him what happens when he pranks you lol. If you need more ideas for pranks feel free to ask me lol thats my favorite pastime lol.