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Hey, OP here. We are still together. Have attended counselling and we are both being much more open and loving with each other. The issue was both his and mine but we are both working on our problems together and I'm proud to say our marriage is better and more fun than ever :)
By mymumdidntloveme / Tuesday 1 July 2014 03:59 / New Zealand - Auckland
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By  DocBastard  |  38

Fair enough? What's fair about a husband not loving a wife? I'm sick and fucking tired of hearing so many stories of infidelity, marriages falling apart, etc. What the hell happened to humanity? No one seems to care enough about anyone these days, especially people who swear to love someone until they die. It saddens me and angers me and makes me want to throw my desk out the fucking window. Clearly I need decaf.

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  little_one  |  20

You deserved it. Your married for a reason those feelings don't just die. I'd never tell my husband I don't feel loved because I know he'll always love me. Instead you should of said I would like it if you were more affectionate. If you aren't married to a turd he'd apologize for making you feel unwanted.

By  DocBastard  |  38

Fair enough? What's fair about a husband not loving a wife? I'm sick and fucking tired of hearing so many stories of infidelity, marriages falling apart, etc. What the hell happened to humanity? No one seems to care enough about anyone these days, especially people who swear to love someone until they die. It saddens me and angers me and makes me want to throw my desk out the fucking window. Clearly I need decaf.

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  2i1337i2iscore  |  13

The world has not changed. People haven't really changed over the past 2,000 years- relatively the same interests, problems, desires(sports, sex, jealousy, hate, war, disease..). Except back then you didn't marry for love, you couldn't divorce, men could cheat where women were killed if they did, and your dirty laundry was posted where the entire world could see it. We are not evolving as a specie. We have more gadgets so we are more advanced intellectually but that doesn't mean we are smart or wise. I sympathize with your feeling, because it took me a while to see, but its not getting worse... It's just the way it's always been. Sad I know.

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  darwinism  |  29

#14, Your comment makes me sad, that you think we are not evolving. I think 2000 years is not long enough to see any change. Add a couple of zeros, and then we can talk again.

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  strike2867  |  13

How's the world from your high horse there? People's lives change, people change. Let's say something huge happened in the life of someone you loved, and it changes them profoundly. Now you're with an entirely different person, someone you didn't swear to spend your entire life with. I don't know whether it's right or wrong, but you can't just put a blanket statement saying everything is wrong.

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I'm being the devil's advocate here but it could be that he is tired of having to prove it to her. Some people are so insecure that it comes to a point when you're sick of reassuring them. If it was a one time only, well he is a dick then.

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  mip_92  |  28

@24- Very true. Especially if he hasn't actually DONE anything to disprove the feelings he has for her. @22- Sure, people change all the time. But he still could have showed her she may have been wrong. As for my two cents, OP needs to have a talk with her husband. And I honestly do think she might be really insecure and does this all the time, hence her husband's response. I don't know. But a heart to heart definitely needs to happen.

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  elusiveshame  |  22

People don't complain about successful relationships. Not everyone is cheating, and who's to say the OP doesn't bring up this topic all the time? If my gf kept saying the same thing over, I'd give up any effort if she couldn't see the many ways I care about her.

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  DocBastard  |  38

strike2867 - Sorry, but no. People don't change THAT much as often as you think. The main problem is that too many people jump into marriages too quickly, before figuring out that their spouses aren't who they THOUGHT they were. Then comes the disrespect, cheating, dishonesty, and inevitable divorce.

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  darwinism  |  29

Mr. Bastard, spot on, even if your name is contrasting. We as a species could learn a lot from our animal cousins, such as the gibbon, albatross, or the gracefull swan, which have masteted the act of monogomy. Sounds like you are in a happy relationship, which ultimately makes you a lucky bastard.

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I totally agree. I dont understand why so many people just get lazy or give up and walk away. A relationship like all good things requires work and effort. To hell with those that cheat and homewreck or lie and use. Selfish sons of bitches the lot of em!

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  buonotomato  |  19

#7 While I certainly understand how you feel, there are just as many successful marriages and relationships as there are bad ones. If not more. You probably aren't referring only to this site, but if you are, there are many stories of infidelity and bad relationships here because it is a site for us to share bad things. I agree that love seems to be almost non-existent these days, but... Well. I think it lies in human nature to enjoy hearing about disasters or murders in the news, for example. Journalists know this. So, they only give us bad news. I prefer to think of it being the same when it comes to love stories. Successful marriages, sweet love stories and good luck when it comes to love isn't what interests people, in my opinion. My conclusion is that, as in journalism, people only share the bad things to get more attention. That is why we don't hear of more good things, even though they certainly are there. At least, I hope I'm right. Otherwise, I don't want to think about where humanity is headed.

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  2i1337i2iscore  |  13

Well, I just count the 2-3000 because we are intimately effected by those cultures today and understand their events enough to not repeat them. I can go on and on about why we are literally becoming an Idiocracy, from pure simple child's addition and multiplication, like in the movie idiocracy. But true devolution is in human's hubris. We have actually been here around 200,000 years. If the span of earth's life was measured as the length of time for basketball game to play out, humans have been here (200,000 years) for 0.13 seconds of that game. That's rounding up... But we make the same mistakes in hubris, the same false assumptions, like the earth being flat. Except now it's that, in the .013 of a second we existed, we have produced so much carbon dioxide that we have destroyed the earth, lmfao. Sorry, in the 0.0000065 seconds of existing on earth, where we have had fossil fuels, we destroyed the ozone, or heated up the earth, or now climate change? Haha. When we don't even know the weather patterns of 100 years ago. Our faith in science today is the same blind faith in religion back when the world was flat. We condemn God or religion just to replace him with another supreme idol and call it advancement. We talk about facts all the time when gravity is still a theory lmao. This is just one of a hundred contemporary examples of this craziness we call advancement. Conclusion=Devolution.

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  strike2867  |  13

I'm not talking about the people who jump in to marriage too soon, they're a whole other problem. I'm talking about the people who genuinely know each other. I know a couple who were together around 7 years before getting married, then having kids, and finally getting a divorce. No cheating involved, as far as I know. People grow apart, sometimes there's nothing you can do, no matter how much you work on it.

By  OBTrice  |  15

Well I think it's time to have a chat with your husband because that was not the right answer. I hope he can find a way to make it up cause, even though a lot of ppl on this site say it, you may need to get a divorce.

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